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STORY PITCH

Here is your opportunity to give us your general pitch/proposal of what would be involved in your story. You do not have to be extremely specific, just give us a general story line (without ruining the ending!) and what we might expect in terms of tone and genre (horror, action, mystery, adventure).

For examples of what constitutes a pitch/proposal you can look at Mark Waid's examples. These are more specific, but will help you understand the general concept.

On the pitch:
http://markwaid.com/writing101/the-thursday-lecture-the-pitch/

And on the proposal:
http://markwaid.com/writing101/the-thursday-lecture-the-proposal-part-one/

http://markwaid.com/writing101/the-thursday-lecture-the-proposal-part-two/

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Judges
Badabing
Newjak
Galan
Zack Fair

Participants:
PR
Oliver North
Curryman
Starscream
Gecko
Lek Kuen
Bardock
Leonidas

The pitch


Thor: Sanguine Crusade


Ok so in recent days thor hasnt been getting much love. Much respect. He had been written to be the big guy with the jaw made of pre-fractured glass. Thor used to be the man. He used to be respected. When thor showed up in a comic you knew shit was about to go down in a big way and it was great. So im here to return Thor to his roots.


First im going to take him off of earth. earth has been a toxic environment for thor. All of his best stories were cosmic in nature so it is into the void of space I am returning with the loveable guy. But the thing is Thor is a warrior. At the very unshakable core of his being Thor is a proud man with an honor code and a thirst for combat, so im going to incorporate that back into his character in a big way. Naturally this leads to darker subject matter and a more gritty story telling style that has really been missing in cosmic tales.

The Base for this mini series is the story of Thor and his family. and what happens to those who would dare harm them while the thunderer still yet draws breath. On top of that there will be appearances from great classic characters who either havent seen the the light of day in ages or have been unceremoniously written off and relegated to the vintage storage rooms of fan boys.

Like I said before this is not a light airy fluff piece. This is a serious Action-Drama story line. People will die. Lives will be forever shattered. The Status quo will be dragged out the house at 2 am and instructed to bite the curb at gun point. The Landscape of characters will be forever changed.

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The Proposal


The High Concept: Thor is grievously injured and cared for by a woman he would then marry and have a child with. But when that child is stolen from his very arms there is nothing Thor will not do to retrieve it.

The Pitch:

Marvel's Doomsday...

When Superman put HP Doomsday into entropy...Doomsday wasn't destroyed, but instead transported through a universal wormhole into Marvel's earth. Marvel will experience destruction as never before, heroes will ally with villains to stop this nightmarish menace, many will fall...but can Doomsday be stopped?!

---

The proposal

Doomsday wrecked DC as no one has before or after and changed Superman forever. My story will explore Doomsday's impact on the Marvel universe.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1da3fsNGPEHC6LYM0Aw4g5IFEh42_UrODTzOfSU-nxhU/edit?usp=sharing

try-hard mode engaged

Good job everyone. Can't wait to read them. And Oliver, thanks for using Google Drive so others understand the concept.

word, it is actually very nice being able to organize it as a .doc rather than as a forum post (or several)

Sorry mine hasn't been posted yet. I am working on it.

I'm not too worried. I think there are a couple others aside from you that still don't have a pitch.

idk, given the format, I'm totally in favor of giving as much time to people as it takes.

tbh, I'm really amped to see what people come up with.

Missing four pitches. I'd ideally like these in the next week to 2 weeks.

Participants:
PR
Curryman
Lek Kuen
Leonidas

Once we have all the pitches in, we will pick the closest Wednesday and set up the time frame to be a month from that date for the first issue.

i'm still sorting through the details of my little idea. if i don't feel confident i can get it all worked out in time, i'll pm you, bw.

hey blair, i think Pr's playing video games all day instead of working on his pitch.

i think you should have a word with him

Originally posted by Starscream M
hey blair, i think Pr's playing video games all day instead of working on his pitch.

i think you should have a word with him

It's for inspiration, I'm sure.

Originally posted by Starscream M
hey blair, i think Pr's playing video games all day instead of working on his pitch.

i think you should have a word with him

I'm playing games and reading comics, trying to come up with something larger in scope for my pitch. I'm not going to pitch one, not-completely thought-out idea, and then be forced to stick to it.

Originally posted by -Pr-
I'm playing games and reading comics, trying to come up with something larger in scope for my pitch. I'm not going to pitch one, not-completely thought-out idea, and then be forced to stick to it.

HEY!

I wasn't insinuating anything

I just mean that I can take my writing a bit seriously sometimes, and If I'm not absolutely set on what I want to do, I can change my mind pretty quickly.

I'm still having trouble coming up with some action beats to balance all of the heavy dialogue "relationshipy" scenes.

Originally posted by -Pr-
I wasn't insinuating anything

I just mean that I can take my writing a bit seriously sometimes, and If I'm not absolutely set on what I want to do, I can change my mind pretty quickly.

I'm still having trouble coming up with some action beats to balance all of the heavy dialogue "relationshipy" scenes. action beats aren't mandatory, don't force it in if your story doesn't call for it

If I was forcing it i'd have written my pitch already. I want to have them in the story, it's just a matter of figuring out the best way.

I'll try to have something up soon.

Just saw this.

This is interesting.

I'll be an informal judge. uhuh

Seriously though, had I known about this earlier I might have considered throwing my hat in the ring. It's been a while since I've written any genre fiction.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
Just saw this.

This is interesting.

I'll be an informal judge. uhuh

Seriously though, had I known about this earlier I might have considered throwing my hat in the ring. It's been a while since I've written any genre fiction. Message Blair to see if there's time. The drunk Irishman is still procrastinating. pr

Hey, I am not procrastinating.

yeah, i don't think i'll be able to get this together. i still love my idea, but as i was trying to get to work on this, i found myself completing something else that i'd started a while ago. anyway, that's almost done now, but to then get this together in the time frame you're talking about is pretty unlikely. once i finish my current project, i might throw my idea together and just throw it up in the little-used fan-fic forum if i can get the kinks worked out. sorry folks. still a great idea bw, and hopefully a few people actually get inspired to complete something due to this.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
Just saw this.

This is interesting.

I'll be an informal judge. uhuh

Seriously though, had I known about this earlier I might have considered throwing my hat in the ring. It's been a while since I've written any genre fiction.

I'm sure you can still join, we are not that far into it. And if you do a pitch more along the lines of Starscream's or mine (rather than inimalist's) you can do that in an hour or less (just sayin', Pr)

Originally posted by Badabing
The drunk Irishman

Redundant.

Mine's almost done. You'll have it tomorrow.

Also, OV, that sounds ****ing awesome.

Thank you.

OV is a ringer

Originally posted by Oliver North
OV is a ringer
I read that wrong for a second.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
I read that wrong for a second.

? without getting really crass, I can't actually figure out what you mean...

Originally posted by Oliver North
? without getting really crass, I can't actually figure out what you mean...
Get crass.

that is rich

EDIT: but seriously, you need a handicap of some kind...

Okay. I'll just forget what I learned in my workshops.

(Which is what I'm supposed to do anyway.)

lol, your story sounds great, I'm just making preemptive excuses

Originally posted by Oliver North
lol, your story sounds great, I'm just making preemptive excuses
Oh don't worry. Truth be told I'm concerned with the stipulation that this has to be rendered in such a stripped down script format. I'm not the best at dialogue, and I'm not sure how much exposition Blair will allow.

Agreed. A lot of the mood I want to communicate would come from a silent panel or something similar. I'll probably push that regulation, but in the end, "winning" is less important to me here than actually producing some finished product. My life is full of half started pieces of creative work that never materialized into anything, having an impetus just to get something done is sort of and end in itself for me. If I go a bit overboard on description and lose points, I'll be less concerned than if it was a good product.

That being said, I'm trying to work within the rules

Having looked at the Grant Morrison script that PR posted I now feel a lot more comfortable with this. Speaking of Grant, his issue will be the most difficult and the most rewarding for me to pull off.

Originally posted by Newjak
I like the premise I just have one question.

Since when is it a change that Yoda was Dooku's teacher?

In the movies Dooku was Yoda's Padawan, unless I'm misreading what that is supposed to mean.

Dooku had another master in the eu; Yoda was more of someone that took a special interest in him, iirc.

Originally posted by -Pr-
Dooku had another master in the eu; Yoda was more of someone that took a special interest in him, iirc. EU uhuh

You dare bring that to the table... automatic failure.

Hey, some of it is pretty good. Some of it is just crap too.

Originally posted by -Pr-
Hey, some of it is pretty good. Some of it is just crap too. I'll will say this is an accurate statement, but in terms of canon not everything in the EU is considered canon.

As far as we know Dooku was Yoda's Padawan.

true, but for the sake of my story, he isn't. I am going with him being trained by him to an extent though, as that aspect will play in to the story somewhat, and is to do with why Obi-Wan is on the mission.

Making Anakin a kid from Naboo would end up changing everything, not just in Episode I.

ermm

Shush.

That was a typo; it was meant to be Tatooine. Fixed.

Originally posted by -Pr-
ermm

Shush.

That was a typo; it was meant to be Tatooine. Fixed.
Oh okay. I thought you were going for a radical revamp. I was thinking "damn, PR getting gutsy here"

I am changing several things, but I'm not contradicting the OT, so it's finding that balance that will be tricky.

So we are just missing two pitches. Lets get these done as soon as possible so we can start.

Participants:
Curryman
Lek Kuen

Once we have all the pitches in, we will pick the closest Wednesday and set up the time frame to be a month from that date for the first issue.

Originally posted by leonidas
yeah, i don't think i'll be able to get this together. i still love my idea, but as i was trying to get to work on this, i found myself completing something else that i'd started a while ago. anyway, that's almost done now, but to then get this together in the time frame you're talking about is pretty unlikely. once i finish my current project, i might throw my idea together and just throw it up in the little-used fan-fic forum if i can get the kinks worked out. sorry folks. still a great idea bw, and hopefully a few people actually get inspired to complete something due to this.

Sorry to hear. Just so it is clear, the final deadline for anyone wanting to enter is the day that the first issues are due. As long as you can get a story/issue set up and delivered on that day, I'll accept any late comers.

Once pitches are all in, when will the first issue be due? I apologize if this has been stated before somewhere else.

No set date as of yet. I think about a month after pitches are all in.

star wars isn't comics imo.

It has an entire line of comics. It passes.

Star Wars comics are also really, really good at times.

Yup. The Republic series that told the story of the Clone Wars was particularly good, imo.

Originally posted by -Pr-
Yup. The Republic series that told the story of the Clone Wars was particularly good, imo.

Agreed. That was actually the last thing I read of Star Wars comics.

Originally posted by -Pr-
Yup. The Republic series that told the story of the Clone Wars was particularly good, imo.

Legacy was nigh-superb as well.

Yeah, I liked Legacy too. Though it's hard to go wrong with Ostrander.

Dark Times is another good one.

So as I said in the OTT, i've been rewatching the movies so that they're fresh in my mind. TPM was okay; a bit boring at times but I sat through it without skipping. Clones... lol, I couldn't stand those scenes on Naboo, but otherwise it was watchable. ROTS just felt like a real disappointment. It's good, but I see where it could have been so much better. Hell, even Anakin is less cringey in the movie, even if his dialogue is still poor.

And now on to the OT!

So, is there a deadline for the outstanding pitches?

Dealing with them at the moment.

I think first issues will be due the 10th of April and appear the second Wednesday of each month after that.

having looked at all the pitches so far, I think mine is the most interesting.

Originally posted by Starscream M
having looked at all the pitches so far, I think mine is the most interesting.
Having looked at all the posts so far, I think yours right here is the most handsome.

Originally posted by Starscream M
having looked at all the pitches so far, I think mine is the most interesting. Originally posted by Omega Vision
Having looked at all the posts so far, I think yours right here is the most handsome.

Co-signed on both

Starscream, we're really going to need a little more information before we can decide how interesting your pitch really is.

Originally posted by -Pr-
Starscream, we're really going to need a little more information before we can decide how interesting your pitch really is. dood, it's Doomsday + Marvel, nuff said.

So no hinting as to who the main opponents he'll face are? No hints as to why you're writing it in the first place? Why you chose that subject matter?

Originally posted by -Pr-
So no hinting as to who the main opponents he'll face are? No hints as to why you're writing it in the first place? Why you chose that subject matter?
http://25.media.tumblr.com/dd74024162dfaa8d80bcb18a9ba67db8/tumblr_mj7my0yGhj1qd8ysxo1_500.png

Originally posted by Gecko4lif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/dd74024162dfaa8d80bcb18a9ba67db8/tumblr_mj7my0yGhj1qd8ysxo1_500.png

Originally posted by Starscream M
nuff said.
Is it?

I personally feel it's too much said.

How about "Doomsday + Marvel"
"Doomsday Marvel"
"Doomarvel"
"Darvel"

There we go! Darvel!!!!

I've talked some with Blair, I'm gonna try to compete and make this work. We'll see if I can do it but for now here is my pitch/proposal.


https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RVkgLXhOpSZnDlhK4OsG7XAW7vvBvUOLzxfvOa6ayws/edit#

I had to request access

Originally posted by -Pr-
I had to request access I'm trying to figure out how to make it open. Never used Google Doc before

EDIT: Should be good now.

Working now.

Sounds excellent, looking forward to reading it.

I've just read the first issues from Bardock and Starscream. I enjoyed both.

Lol, I saw Bada's post, and bold lettering under his location, and I was thinking "Aww yeah, PR manned up--he's finally been banned."


...Then I remembered that's just his moderator badge. uhuh

Uh isn't the Klingon empire mostly in the Beta Quadrant?

Originally posted by Endless Mike
Uh isn't the Klingon empire mostly in the Beta Quadrant?

Yes, why?

==

Also, I like that pitch a lot.

Originally posted by Endless Mike
Uh isn't the Klingon empire mostly in the Beta Quadrant?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

It was considered an Alpha Quadrant Power for the purposes of the Dominion War. The thing is that a quadrant is a big place, and this would be taking place more toward the far end of the quadrant seeing as Earth is pretty close to the Alpha-Beta border.

Well generally the Federation, Klingons, Romulans, etc. are close to the border between the Alpha and Beta quadrants, and most of those quadrants are unknown to them, since it takes like 100 years to cross the galaxy with traditional warp drive.

http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Beta_Quadrant

The Klingon Empire, iirc, actually exists in both quadrants, just like the Romulan one.

Originally posted by -Pr-

Also, I like that pitch a lot.
thanks

Originally posted by Omega Vision
thanks

Lots of fancy words , but I liked it. Sounds like you have a slightly dysfunctional crew in terms of personalities, so It'll be interesting to see how they gel.

It did remind me of my fanfic writing days, though, as my captain in those was a veteran of that same war.

Originally posted by -Pr-
Lots of fancy words , but I liked it. Sounds like you have a slightly dysfunctional crew in terms of personalities, so It'll be interesting to see how they gel.

It did remind me of my fanfic writing days, though, as my captain in those was a veteran of that same war.
Yeah, that's the point. And I'm planning for that to come into play when in the 3rd or 4th issue one of the crewmembers turns out to be an infiltrator and fingerpointing starts.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
Yeah, that's the point. And I'm planning for that to come into play when in the 3rd or 4th issue one of the crewmembers turns out to be an infiltrator.

A bit of intrigue is always good in Star Trek.

Of course there will be other characters, but in terms of major crewmembers the only one I might add would be a counselor, and it would probably be a hologram.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
Of course there will be other characters, but in terms of major crewmembers the only one I might add would be a counselor, and it would probably be a hologram.

Zimmerman?

Originally posted by -Pr-
Zimmerman?
No, I was thinking of modeling it on a historical figure, or possibly on Quark.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
No, I was thinking of modeling it on a historical figure, or possibly on Quark.

Quark as a counsellor... That would be something.

Well he was a bartender, sympathetic ear and all that.

Lol...or Mourn as counselor.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
Well he was a bartender, sympathetic ear and all that.

Lol...or Mourn as counselor.

That guy? He never shuts up.

Morn: *opens his mouth as if to speak*
Crewman: "Not now, Morn! I don't need three paragraphs of psycho-babble right now!"
Morn: *closes his mouth and shuffles back into his quarters*

Gotta commend you on this idea B-Dub. I've enjoyed the stories so far.