Rolands Diary

Day 1

Had to go to some stupid meeting. Niobe took over, just because she’s Deadbolts gf she thinks she can be in charge of the rest of us. I tried to put her in her place, but she wouldn’t stop talking. The others kept mentioning things that were very obvious. When Niobe said that the machines were digging from the surface straight down, Soren said that they would avoid the entire perimeter defence by doing that. Did he think that we were going to be able to put guns right into solid rock? Idiot. And there’s only so many ways you can say that there’s a quarter of a millions sentinels, but Kali, Ghost and Morpheus had to say it each time themselves, as if they were announcing something the rest of us hadn’t already heard. And then Morpheus had the gall to suggest that we put ourselves on the line for his precious Oracle. Ballard said he’d stay, so it gets me off the hook quite nicely. When I asked Morpheus what he was gonna do if Deadbolt threw him in jail, he replied that the commander wouldn’t do that. Does he think that he should get special treatment because he’s best pals with ‘the One’?…Godammit! Agents are here I gotta go.

Day 3

Goddammit! Had to go to yet another stupid meeting, I asked Mauser if he’d pretend to be me so I wouldn’t have to go. But Mauser pointed out that 1). Some people were going to notice that we weren’t the same colour 2). That he wasn’t a plug-in like me (plug-ins Rule!) and 3). He wasn’t as ancient as me (I’m going to have him cleaning deck plates for the rest of his live for that one).

Got to meeting and Deadbolt spent most of it nattering on about the machines coming to kill us all (as if we didn’t know that already). And then the council asked if there had been any communication from the Nebichin…Nibakinezz…the Neb. When did they get to leave? And why does baldy always get special treatment from the council? Then they asked that a ship be sent to help them, I mean really. Morpheus might be a bit naïve (and stupid) but he doesn’t need help. He has the all-powerful ‘ONE’ to help him. Soren (being the idiot he is) volunteered, at first no one else did. And Deadbolt started on about how hard it would be for any man to risk his life and Niobe had to join Soren. Goddamn but Deadbolt wasn’t too happy about that, but what did he expect giving that sexist speech anyways?

After that I had to go to yet another meeting. Where Deadbolt informed us that we were going out to fight the sentinels about something or other…I kind of lost interest (I hope no one noticed when I fell asleep). Then we went back to our ship the Mjolnir (why don’t they spell anything like it sounds anymore, still I suppose Ice has it worse with her ship the Gnosis). Must go now, I have to go show the others who’s captain.

[Note to self: Ask some other captain what it is we’re supposed to be doing, and which way we’re going.]

(later on) Day 3

Some goddamn idiot set of an EMP, at first I thought it might be us. But when I asked AK he pointed out the fact that we were still flying and told me if it had been us, we would have crashed and we’d all probably be dead. We made a quick pass to see if anyone was left alive. We found one person, Bane (I wonder where he got that name from?) he was unconscious at the time so I couldn’t interrogate…I mean talk to him about what happened. And then we went to help the Nebikin…the Nibachan…the Nebs crew, even though we didn’t know they needed our help. We had a little talk in the mess hall. I told them that we had made a pass to look for anyone left and of course Morpheus’ dumazz operator had to ask the most obvious question of ‘you found one?’ Goddammit! I think I’m surrounded by idiots.

Day 4

Goddammit! I got called out of bed early this morning because Morpheus wanted to go looking for Niobe in the Matrix, if I didn’t know better I’d think there was something going on between those to (I wonder if Deadbolt know? And if I can blackmail them with it?). What did they need me for, I didn’t realise I was necessary to the search for two people missing in the Matrix, isn’t that what operators are for? But there is yet another upside, if Niobe is dead then I get to command her ship to…but I might have to get rid of Morpheus first…I know I’ll just offer him some of AK’s coffee that should do that trick. I ordered them to search for the Logos and AK pointed out that there were loads of squiddies around. Goddamn! Why do people keep pointing out the obvious? I mean we are in the middle of a war here, what does AK expect? That the Sentinels will be sitting at home in front of the fireplace drinking tea and eating digestives? Pratt. And then Morpheus asked me to run another search of the Matrix, this time for ‘the One’. How the Godamm hell is he supposed to be in there if he’s not plugged in? Then Morpheus looked at me strangely (I think it’s what they call the puppy dog look. It might work on Niobe. But not Roland the captain of the Mjolnir) and said ‘Please, for me.’ Yes I think he definitely thinks I’m Niobe…or ‘the One’. I nodded my permission to AK, I know what you’re thinking, that I’m a pushover. I’m not, but if I didn’t agree to do it then he would have bugged me all day about it until I did. He wasn’t in there of course (BTW I still don’t know what ‘bubkis’ means, and AK keeps saying it, everytime I ask him to do anything). Then Colt told us that the godamn machines would be in Zion in less than twenty hours ago, that was four hours and forty-three minutes ago. So they’ll be in Zion in…*counts on fingers* just over fifteen hours (I think). So I sent AK upstairs to the cockpit to keep an eye on the holographs for any sentinels…but he was back down less than an hour later to help with Trinity and Morpheus in the Matrix…I always knew that Morpheus was a moron, he hired a guy who can’t operate on his own. Makes my ships crew look all that much better…which isn’t really hard to do.

They returned with ‘the One’ and Maggie informed us that Bane was awake, we went off to interrogate him. Bane claimed he didn’t know anything, now isn’t that convenient? If I were in his shoes I wouldn’t remember anything either. I asked Maggie if he had VDT’s (still don’t know what that is, but I don’t want to ask) she said he didn’t but that he did have something else wrong with him, I kind of lost the thread of what she was saying after she said ‘he is showing a lot of unusual neural….’ Goddammit! Why can’t anyone on my ship talk in ordinary english?!

We found the Logos! I get to be in charge of two ships! Yay! Then Morpheus started throwing his weight around. Since when did he become the captain of this ship? And why did no one tell me? I put him right back in his place (I kicked him in the shin and gave him a death glare that I’ve been practising in the mirror for weeks). Then we found out Niobe was still alive. Goddammit! Now I can’t have her ship.

And then they had to go and undermine me. I think Morpheus might be stoned (I don’t blame him though) and Neo needed a lot of prompting (for being the one he’s an awful idiot) Niobe gave ‘the One’ her ship, so he could go visit the machines in their city. I think that’s suicide, but no one ever listens to me anyway (bastards) and then she told me that she could pilot MY ship back to Zion, through a mechanical line. Goddammit! We’re all gonna die and I don’t even get to be in charge of my own goddamn ship. And then ‘the One’ said he didn’t need any ammunition, he’s been spending to much time with Morpheus obviously, thinks that the machines are going to welcome him with open arms (or whatever machines use in place of arms).

Bane killed Maggie; I threw a bit of a temper tantrum over it. I am the captain after all so it’s all right. And then the operator of obviousness said we should go help them. If Bane has killed ‘the One’ and his old doll then he’ll have another EMP and bring us down as well. Where does Morpheus get these people?

Niobe isn’t as great a pilot as she thinks she is. She scraped the ship along the bottom just as we were getting to wherever it was we were supposed to be. Sentinels spotted us of course and came right for us and I ordered everyone to the gun deck…well except Niobe…someone has to get us home. And then Niobe decided we should go even faster, had to warn her that we weren’t on the Logos anymore. She told me to hold onto my lunch…which I couldn’t do, I tried to I swear I did, but it spewed out of me to fast. Goddammit!

Niobe told us to keep the sentinels of her. What did she think we were doing? Picking our noses? (Well Link was, but he’s an idiot) But as we got closer to Zion I felt like I should compliment her a little, might make her pilot a bit better. Goddamn ***** threw it back in my face. Women!!

After a while though it was starting to look a lot worse. I told them we needed to use the EMP. No one listened to me…last time I looked I was in charge of this Godamn ship. But then I got my chance to issue orders again, I told the guy sitting next to me to go charge the EMP. It was only after he left that I realised it was Morpheus’ idiot operator and I started praying…hard. Strangely enough he didn’t blow us all to Timbuktu (does Timbuktu even exist anymore?).

Then we went down to chat with Deadbolt. We had just saved his life and he still wasn’t happy (gonna kick his ass later when we both have time). Then the council grilled us, I got to insult ‘the One’ and nobody told me off (a good moment I might add).

Machines came to Zion…I think. I fell asleep waiting for them, no one noticed though. Morpheus said it was ‘the One’ but I’m not so sure, if he had to talk to the machines they probably just decided that they’d leave us alone if it would shut him up.

Goddammit! I just realised that my ship is gone. Now what the **** am I going to do? Goddammit! I’ll be stuck in Zion watching Morpheus and Niobe making lovey dovey faces at each other…oh wait that will piss Deadbolt off to, that’s not so bad.

Still wish I had my ship though…