Gender: Male
Location: -

Maynardism, the one true religion!

Hey guys, check out my new religion! It's called Maynardism, and it's where you worship Maynard James Keenan from Tool!

The Ten Holy Commandments of the Lord and Father, MAYNARD

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.In the beginning, MAYNARD created some other, lesser gods. Yet MAYNARD is the Lord, thy God. All others are his servents, to do unto him as he pleases them to.

2. Thou shalt not make thyself any graven images. Never worship an image or false idol as thou might worship MAYNARD. For he is the Lord, thy God.

3. Thou shalt not use the Lord’s name in vain. Say nought what thy believeth MAYNARD to believeth. Only MAYNARD may make true his wishes, for only MAYNARD truly knoweth what is good.

4. Remember the sabbath, to keep it holy. Thou shalt at least weekly set aside a time to indulge in a ray of the divine greatness that is MAYNARD.

5. Honor thy Tool, and thy APC. For without thy Tool and thy A Perfect Circle, thou wouldst be but a lesser being which crawls on its belly, close to the ground. Tool and APC are that which have enlightened ye and opened thine eyes to the truth!

6. Thou shalt not kill thine own kind. Thine own kind, such as they are, includeth thine fellow MAYNARD worshippers. All others are inferior and disposable.

7. Thou shalt not cover any song written by MAYNARD. For the greatness that is MAYNARD cannot be replicated by any but himself. For he is the Lord thy God.

8. Thou shalt not steal that which is MAYNARD. Theft of any Tool, APC, or other MAYNARD-inspired objects is of the lowest and most despicable kind. The Lord thy God shall punish ye for such acts.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness of MAYNARD. Thou shalt never tell of lies that thy have seen one greater than MAYNARD, for such a thing does not exist.

10. Thou shalt not covet the house of MAYNARD. The sacred doings of MAYNARD are none but his own, and to question of such acts is to sin and be struck down.

Thou shalt love MAYNARD with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

__________________

having nothing but a hyphen under my name makes me look so xhardxcorex. like a felon.

Gender: Female
Location: Limassol, Cyprus

Moderator

__________________

Gender: Male
Location: -

__________________

having nothing but a hyphen under my name makes me look so xhardxcorex. like a felon.

Gender: Female
Location: Limassol, Cyprus

Moderator

__________________

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

__________________
hi ih

Gender: Male
Location: -

quote:

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Technically Maynard has a follower.

I love this man. He is a musical genious, and im just listening to Schism right now.

There is no such thing as a ''bad tool song'' It simply doesnt exist.

I know

__________________

having nothing but a hyphen under my name makes me look so xhardxcorex. like a felon.

Gender: Female
Location: Limassol, Cyprus

Moderator

__________________

Gender: Male
Location: Dreaming...Or am I living...

Crap,
Im gonna get killed dammit!
I don't own a tool CD!

I need money!

__________________

Gender: Male
Location: -

__________________

having nothing but a hyphen under my name makes me look so xhardxcorex. like a felon.

Gender: Female
Location: The United Soviet Socialist Republi

__________________
"Death to the fascist insect that preys upon the life of the people!" ~Symbionese Liberation Army

Gender: Male
Location: -

Wow, sounds like you were really serious about your religious beliefs

__________________

having nothing but a hyphen under my name makes me look so xhardxcorex. like a felon.

Gender: Female
Location: The United Soviet Socialist Republi

shutup, my mom made me get baptized!

__________________
"Death to the fascist insect that preys upon the life of the people!" ~Symbionese Liberation Army

Gender: Female
Location: Limassol, Cyprus

Moderator

__________________

Gender: Male
Location: -

__________________

having nothing but a hyphen under my name makes me look so xhardxcorex. like a felon.

Gender: Female
Location: The United Soviet Socialist Republi

quote:

Originally posted by Darth Revan
As in... she wants you to become a Christian?

Well what else?

__________________
"Death to the fascist insect that preys upon the life of the people!" ~Symbionese Liberation Army

Gender: Male
Location: -

Well it was kinda vague... Wow, that really sucks. I feel for you.

__________________

having nothing but a hyphen under my name makes me look so xhardxcorex. like a felon.

Gender: Male
Location: Los Angeles

__________________

Life is short and the art long, the occasion instant, experiment perilous, decision difficult.

Gender: Male
Location: -

Really? Whoa, I should do this in real life too!

__________________

having nothing but a hyphen under my name makes me look so xhardxcorex. like a felon.

Gender: Male
Location: Los Angeles

__________________

Life is short and the art long, the occasion instant, experiment perilous, decision difficult.

Gender: Male
Location: London, UK.

quote:

Originally posted by Darth Revan
7. Thou shalt not cover any song written by MAYNARD. For the greatness that is MAYNARD cannot be replicated by any but himself. For he is the Lord thy God.

Oh sweet merciful Keenan! I am a heretic!

Twas two summers ago, back in the fair meadows of ye olde southside Phoenix, that I and four other young, foolish fellows took it upon ourselves to commit the loathsome act of covering 'The Hollow'.

I beg you high-priest Melvin, absolve me of my sins. I repent!

__________________