i understand that females can be just as territorial as men, but i never agreed with a male attempting to gain a foothold on what his female partner should or shouldn't wear. for example, there are males out there who don't like the idea of their girlfriends wearing anything provocative or sexy in public on the premise that he does not want her attracting unwanted attention. i'm a firm believer in "if you have it, flaunt it." i don't think there is any shame in a female showing appreciation for her own body as long as she feels confident and comfortable in how she chooses to portray herself. i personally don't like the thought of a male telling me what i can and cannot wear.
further more, i believe the same applies to girls who want to pursue modeling because they've been gifted with an attractive face and attractive body. they are only embracing what nature has given them. what right does a male have to object?
what's the real psychology behind these male objections? is it simply just a male being territorial or does it border on insecurity and self-esteem issues? if so, why should the female endure the male projecting his own self-esteem issues onto her?
The epigram that begins the manifesto of the single woman.
Flaunting is usually a precursor to wanting to attract. If you want to attract, and you're not single, either you have relationship issues or you're an attention whore.
There's also a line.
Looking sexy is fine, but having your cleavage hanging out or your ass showing because your skirt is so short? Not on my watch.
Some guys are fine with it, I wouldn't be.
Impediment doesn't give a shit what anyone says about his wife, and that's cool for him. That's the way he wishes to live life and I respect his wishes.
If anyone said, about my girl, what they say about his wife? In person? I would be saying; "If you've got it, flaunt it.". In that case, what I'd have is their testes, and I'd be flaunting them as a means to show what happens when you make comments toward my woman.
It's not an insecurity thing, it's a protect-what's-yours-at-all-times thing. Guys who don't have a good enough hold, by being good enough boyfriends, end up losing their chicks. Fact.
As for modelling, I'd not object if a massive contract came the way of my girlfriend. I'd still not like the fact that she'd have men lusting over her, but I'm not that selfish.
If it's something that the girl is chasing out of some selfish: "I WANT TO DO THAT REGARDLESS OF HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL.", then f*ck that. She could do it, I wouldn't stop her, but it'd cause arguments and she'd have no right to b*tch, cos she could have stopped it.
Gender: Male Location: Onondaga County, Central New York
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the above post sums it up
__________________ "Doom am I, full-ripe, dealing death to the worlds, engaged in devouring mankind."-
J. Robert Oppenheimer at the first nuclear explosion in history
Sometimes guys think they can't do any better and have to do anything to keep their current gal, so they get al over-protective cuz they'll do any better then what they have now.
You shouldn't have to wonder why your man doesn't want his woman prancing about like a peacock, with the appearance of trying to attract a mate. We are animals. Don't forget that. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with my wife dressed like a hooker when I was out with her. I would be embarassed. It would seem like I paid for escort services to look good.
On the same token, a woman should expect her man to dress appropriately, as well..not unbutton his shirt down to his naval, wear a$$-tight pants, etc.
It's cool when you're single, but just damn rude when you're with someone. Show some respect for your partner, don't be a whore. That goes for both genders.
If you want to feel sexy and you are in a relationship and you DON'T feel sexy, then there's a problem with the relationship. Your partner should make you feel sexy. If that's not the problem, you're just.....get this...and attention whore.
However, I digress. If a dude attracts a sl*tty looking girl, he should expect her to remain as such and vice-versa.
I say moderation. You can look sexy, but not look like a whore, at the same time.
Me thinks you started this thread because your man or one of your lady friend's man was getting controlling. Sounds like he needs to do better at making you or your friend feel good about themselves so you don't feel the unquenchable urge to dress like a whore.
It would help if you provided pics of what you're talking about : what your man wants you to wear vs. what you want to wear (or what you tried to wear.) Then, all of us might need to drop this "whore" thing. Who knows, maybe it wasn't all that bad and it looked fine...?
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
admittedly, there is a line to dressing proactively. no one wants to be embarrassed by their partner.
the last couple of pics are a bit huge, but i couldn't be bothered with resizing them.
too much cleavage? (please log in to view the image)
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tasteful, yet sexy.
i understand this is all subjective, but the above honesty can't be something to cringe over. i can understand how the last one might be questionable due to the mini skirt.
Mini-skirts are less appropriate because if they show something, it's serious.
The top two pictures would be fine if you are single, but intentionally leaving buttons undone and showing THAT much cleavage is literally a device to attract men.
Yeah, they are all showing too much cleavage. And the last one is questionable. If the top one buttoned one or two buttons, she'd look fine. I would be proud to go out and about with her, and not feel like I paid for an escort. Her outfit looks great.
What AC said about cleavage is correct. Too much, and it screams "I am a whore and need attention, lovin's, or both." A good pair don't have to hang out to be sexy. That's a fact and that's come from a very big coneseur of chesticals.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
And I'm going to disagree hugely on the cleavage part. So, what, if a girl wears a shirt that shows cleavage, then she can only be doing it to try and attract attention? Bullshit.
I've got large boobs, and pretty much any shirt I wear that's got any sort of halfway-low neckline is going to show some cleavage. And yes, a lot of the shirts I wear do display a fair amount of cleavage. Do I do it because I want to attract attention? Well, being taken, the answer is definitely a no. I wear shirts like that because it makes me feel good.
Honestly, I don't think that someone should have to change their style of dress because someone else may be looking.
Only a girl would agree, I knew this before I even replied.
1). Nobody says dressing sexy is whorish, so I'm not sure why you got that idea.
2). If you're taken, why even wear a low-neckline when you have large boobs? Are girls that selfish as to wear something that flaunts their boobs when they have a man who finds that to be something that makes him uncomfortable?
Don't wear a low-neckline and then whine that you can't hide your boobs. Guys will look anyway, so if you're taken, do what you can to dissauade it if the man you allegedly love finds it upsetting or unsettling.
Also, I love that. "I don't do it for attention, but I wear low-necklined shirts despite knowing I can't cover up my boobs that way.". Uh huh, sure.
It makes you feel good? How? You like how they look? You see them more than anyone else. Why is exposing them in such a manner beneficial to you?
Actually, people say that sort of thing all the time. If a girl dresses in the least bit sexily, they're a whore and were asking for anything that happens afterwards. It's a completely disgusting attitude that I hugely take exception to. And DDM's first post where he throws "hooker" and "whore" all over the place certainly edged close to it.
And why shouldn't I wear clothes that I like to wear, simply because I'm taken? What kind of controlling, insecure crap is that? Not that me doing so makes him in the least bit uncomfortable, but even so. He doesn't have the right to tell me to change how I dress, and how I have been dressing for years. If someone I was dating did try and tell me to change, he'd be shown the door in an instant.
I've never complained about not being able to 'hide my boobs', btw. Not that such a thing is possible, anyway. Girls have them, they're there, and they'll always be there. And as you say, guys will look anyway. They're going to look, no matter what a girl happens to be wearing - I've been hit on while wearing jeans and a hoodie as much as when I'm wearing a nice pair of pants or skirt and a low-cut top. And it sure as hell is not my job to 'dissuade' someone else from practicing an ounce of self-control.
Believe it or not, not everything a girl does is done to attract attention. And yes, wearing clothes that I like the cut of and that flatter my figure makes me feel good. How is that a foreign concept?
Yes, because he was saying there IS a difference between dressing sexy and dressing like a whore.
He even said, sexy is fine in moderation.
Maybe you shouldn't have flown off the handle and actually read the posts.
Furthermore, regarding the part about asking for whatever happens after. No woman is to blame for rape, ever. HOWEVER, there are steps you can take to lower risk. It's not my fault if my bike gets stolen, but if I elect to leave it unlocked, I didn't do all I could to avoid a circumstance I wished to avoid.
If a woman dresses super provocative, as she has the right to, she must accept that there are men out there who will find that (Or indeed anything) as an invitation. Some men would rape a woman in a potato sack, but practically and logically speaking, you can lower risk.
The idea that women are ENTIRELY free of blame is as ridiculous as saying they couldn't have helped it.
Like I said, the epigram that begins the single woman's manifesto.
Why are you suggesting it's controlling and insecure? Both myself and others have provided very logical points as to why it may be disliked.
If they're going to look ANYWAY, and your man HAPPENED to find it very unsettling that they did, it would be very respectful for you to do anything you can to dissuade such reactions.
Why am I repeating myself?
Girls can cover them up, I'm not saying to get rid of them. I'm saying low-cut shirts aren't your only option. If you wear them, don't be so foolish as to expect men not to look.
My friend was glancing at a woman's cleavage on the train, and she was CLEARLY exposing it. She actually got mad at him. Sorry, but you don't have the right to get mad if you're exposing it, and that feminist nonsense of: "I feel good." doesn't work. You may feel good, but it is designed to invite the gaze of men, fact.
You might wear a swastika cos you like the design. It doesn't make you a racist, but it's still intended with racist meaning. Same with wearing outfits that flaunt cleavage. It doesn't matter why YOU wear them, because the intention of those actual kinds of outfits is objective, not subjective.
Nobody is saying you can't wear flattering clothing, so please stop arguing against points nobody made. It wastes my time and it waste yours. That's insecurity.
You look at all the models for Victoria's Secret, all the sexualised commercials they have. You think they do that for women and female empowerment?
If you're trying to argue that, then I'm like Winona Ryder; not buying it.
Gender: Unspecified Location: The Land of Bernie Sanders
I think that if a woman is comfortable with showing off some cleavage, that's fine. For some of us girls, it's hard to NOT show cleavage. If you're comfortable with showing some, cool, showing a lot, cool, showing none, cool. You have to always think about yourself to an extent.
I know some girls take it to the extreme when it comes to these issues, but men do as well. Do not stop showing cleavage just because you have a boyfriend. I mean, be comfortable, don't feel restricted, you shouldn't. It's your life, do what you want. If your boyfriend has issues, talk. Or else find someone comfortable with what you wear. Like I said earlier, both sexes can take it to the extremes.
Other men are going to look at 'your woman' all the time. If she's naturally attractive, they are going to look regardless of her having cleavage out or not. And it's not always JUST men lusting over a woman's cleavage. It's impossible to get everyone's eyes off of your significant other. That's just my opinion.
KMC Community Forums
Dec 30th, 2009 05:32 AM
i can understand how the last one might be questionable due to the mini skirt.
