Wow...okay, I didn't think I'd ever tell anyone this, but I'm out of my mind today. So here it goes. I'll just regret this tomorrow.
First of all, just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot, but this isn't about her. I guess that's a messed up thing to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all these emotional issues and bailed before I was born. So, you can see, my childhood was really messed up.
Anyways, growing up I felt like that were always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17-18 I first noticed my sister was a hottie.
I don't want to go into many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she had made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me, but I thought she was so beautiful that I watched it twice. Probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, but about the time I found the recording a bunch of crazy shit went down and I had to leave home. My dad's family that I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law, I never talk about it.
So.....I was totally lusting after my sister at this point. She was also having trouble with the law, she was actually in custody when I left home.
My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I'll be honest...I just wanted to f*ck her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up, but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her...and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't really sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.
After we left, we all went to crash with my sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy, and even though she was my sister, I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while, except maybe sexy hugging.
Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we moved around a lot. I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but it was kind of an awesome time.
My friend and my sister never hooked up, I don't think, but I thought that there was some serious sexual tension between them. It was around this time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was messed up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery, my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started giving me this amazing, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.
Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going really well for a long time, like I was totally over her. But I have to say, a couple years after all that stuff went down, we went out sailing (not like on a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing the hottest bikini I've ever seen and it brought back those old feelings. *sigh*
A little while later she actually ended up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say that I was really surprised.
But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party. My friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside...alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, but I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and I had to face him.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
KMC Community Forums
This is a confession...
Feb 5th, 2010 01:31 AM
