KMC Forums - The following empires VS the Ewoks

Obviously, the Galactic Empire is no match for these mighty little beasts. But others would like to try. These include:

-The Roman Empire, ruled by Bigguth Dickuth
-The Persian Empire (at its height), ruled by the black gay King Xerxes from "300"
-The British Empire (at its zenith, ruled by Baldrick from "Blackadder")
-The Third Reich (height of its power, also assume that the Germans have the peak of their military strength available), ruled jointly by Mickey Mouse and Ronald McDonald
-The Spanish Empire, ruled by the huge goatlegged guy from "Pan's Labyrinth"
-The French Empire (ruled by Peep le Pew)
-The Swedish Empire (lawlzoarz)
-The Russian Empire or Soviet Union, ruled by the iron fist of a "Serpentor" villain genetically engineered from the combined DNA of all the Soviet Union's leaders and also he is the lovechild of Weird Al Yankovich and Joan Rivers
-Thuh U-nahted Stayets of Amurrickuh, under Emperor Dubyah (assume that the Americans have limitless oil to fuel their war machine and that their national debt can reach infinite god size without making America lose in some way. Also, for the purpose of the fight, liberals have all been magically transformed into fundamentalist neo-cons by the Grayet Jaheezuss so that all white Americans have an old fashioned 1950s attitude and thus all will support the war no matter how obvious it is they won't win)
-The Jewish Empire (assume for the purpose of this fight that everything skinheads/supremacists say about Jews is true and that Jews secretly control the world; the liberal Jew media claims the Ewoks expressed some antisemitism...the Jews have decided to get revenge, although they actually want to kill the Ewoks because they're not Jewish. The Jewish Empire is ruled from its capital of New York City by Emperor George Burns, who faked his own death so that he could go on making white people's lives miserable. Yes, dammit, I'm making a joke here, don't take this seriously. Seriously, everyone does it to white people all the time)

Edit: Also, the Borg Empire, ruled by Excretus of Borg and his cybernetic codpiece.

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"Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of the women." - the prophet Mohammed, single-handed inventor of terrorism, pedophilia and moon-god worship