Finding that the fight against Popeye (with the power of a million spinach patches) is not going well at all, Superman looks around the battlefield to see his comrades battered and humiliated:
- The Martian Manhunter has been punched and changed into a Marvin The Martian Shower Curtain hanging from a flagpole.
- Batman has been punched and changed into Christian Bale, Michael Keaton, George Clooney, Val Kilmer, and Adam West wearing the campy 60s era Robin Suit and saying "Holy Haymakers Batman" in unison.
- Powergirl has been punched and changed into a pornstar.
- Aquaman has been punched and changed into Spongebob Squarepants and Squidworth.
- The Question has been punched and changed into Allen Iverson (The Answer).
- Orion has been punched into an anger management class.
- The Flash was punched and the lightning and speed force shot out of his butt, traveled back in time and struck Benjamin Franklin's kite (and also granted Popeye Light Speed on contact).
- Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) was punched and changed into a bum leaning against an old fashion traffic light with the "Stop" light going on as soon as he landed.
- Wonder Woman is still unconscious on a stripper pole with a $5 hanging from her thong.
- Dr. Fate was punched and changed into this: (please log in to view the image)
Superman knows the situation has become dire and desperate measures must be taken. Superman zips off to the sun for a 25 minute sundip and deep meditation. Suddenly Superman feels a hand grasp his shoulder and opens his eyes to see Popeye floating next to him in the sun with a glowing green aura. He says "You'z tot, ye' kin hide from' me, ya red n' blue palookas!!!" and punches Supes, causing him to ricochet off all of the planets in the Solar System like a pinball and land back in Metropolis. Supes looks up and sees the word "TILT" emblazoned on the horizon written in clouds and is astonished. Superman gets up, unharmed, but incredibly pissed. Popeye stands in front of Supes and says "Yeah, I clock'd ya, ya long john wearin' pansy. Ya wanta step outside?" Supes says "But we're already outside, genius.". Popeye then says "Oh, a wise guy, huh. Put up ya mitts!!!". Superman says "Gladly" and the battle begins.
Stipulations of this battle are:
Superman has had a 25 minute sundip.
Popeye has eaten the equivalent of the Planet Jupiter's mass worth of spinach thanks to Mxyptlk, and it regenerates as Popeye digests it so he will remain at full spinach power so long as he is fighting.
Popeye has obtained light speed travel from punching the Flash (he and Supes are on equal footing for speed).
A real opponent would be hit em up 2pac with a red lantern ring.
__________________
Humans are afraid of the dark.
And yet… At the same time, we’re fascinated and bewitched by it.
Maybe that’s why humans drink the darkness that is coffee.
KMC Community Forums
Mar 11th, 2009 05:54 PM
Official pimp of Steverules 
