quote: (post)

Originally posted by I-Drop
*4 days after the tragic battle w/Gouki. Many of the worlds greatest fighters gather for Terry's funeral.
Sean: This must be hard for you. How you holdin up mane?
Rock(sobbing): I'll get through this. I'll be Ok because I know Terry's up there jobbin' the bosses in heaven*sobs*
Sean:Nah man. That's not how it works.
Rock:Huh?
S: That move he killed Terry with, some call it the Instant Hell Murder. It doesn't just kill you, it sends your soul straight to Hell whether you're a bad person or not. Terry's probably roastin' right now right next to Jerry Falwell.
R:Noooo!*Bursts into tears*
Ken(overhearing the conversation from a few feet away and whispering angrily): Sean! Get the hell over here!!
S:Whassup sensei?
K(still whispering): Shut the f*ck up is whassup mane! You think he wanna hear that shit @his mentor's funeral?!
S:F*ck!! What was I thinking?*smacks himself on the forehead* I'll fix this, Ken
K:You better!

*Sean walks back over to Rock*
S:Heeey man! How's it goin'? You know I was just jokin' about that move sending you to Hell right?
R:You were?*sniffs some snot back in & wipes some tears off his face*
S:Yeah man. Of course. The Instant Hell Murder sends you straight to Heaven.
R:Then why do they call it the Instant Hell Murder?
S: Did I say Instant Hell Murder? What I meant was Instant Happy Funtime Heaven Murder.
R:That's what Akuma does to people?
S: Sure it is. He's a nice guy. Watch this. Hey! Akuma! Whatup!?

*Akuma(Sitting on the other side of the gravesite) looks around & spots Sean & Rock. He's wearing a gray suit w/a red shirt & the collar out scarface style. He's also wearing Terry's hat. He points to it. He grins, points @ them & makes that "click click" noise w/his mouth.*

Sean: See?
Rock:Then what's he doing over there w/Blue Mary?
S:Uhhhhh.....He's consoling her. Yeah! That's it. He's comforting her in her time of need.
*Akuma has his arm around a sobbing Mary. He's still grinning and rubbing her thigh. He silently digs something out of his right pocket.
R:He's gonna stab her?!
*Akuma(w/a Kool-Aid smile) points @Mary a few times & then raises the condom he just pulled out of his pocket into the air w/2 fingers. He confidently nods his head in a "Yes yes yes" fashion.*
S:Not w/a knife
*Rock bursts into tears again.*
Ken (seeing this whole scene & smacking himself in the forehead): Sean you d*ckhead

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Sado22

its probably more like this though:

Terry and Ryu face up Zangief and Akuma
Ryu: show me all you have!
*akuma obliges and sends a 50 hadoukens hurling at ryu and terry from the sky...which miss completely but manage to destroy the small mountain where the fight was to take place. ryu, zangief and terry are reported missing*

One week later. the rematch takes place

Ryu: show me..
Terry: shut the f--k up, dikweed! you want the same thing to happen again!?
Ryu: but the fight is all. its says so in my script
Terry: *reads ryu's script* dude! this script is all f--ked! its got nothing on it except "the fight is all" and "show me all you have". oh and there is this small note that says not to tell you that you're an eunuch.
Ryu: what's a eunuch?
Terry: never mind. so about the script...?
Ryu: well i never got to finish my English for Eunuchs101 course
Terry: well, anyway, i'm not I-dope so i wont make fun of english being your second language n' all. well, you do exactly what i do if you want to live through this.
Ryu: but i'm Ryu. I can take on gods and demons and everyone because i'm the true warrior
Terry: who told you that?
Ryu: my master!
Terry: your master? oh, you mean the moron who never won a single fight in his life. how did he get the license to train people anyway?
Ryu: well, he said he only taught special people!
Terry: you mean "special"
Ryu: yeah, "special"
Terry: dude...now listen here. you're 33, you never got laid, you've been wearing the same clothes since SF1 and you never even won one goddamn tourny without throwing a hissyfit. you're not a warrior. you're a loser.
Ryu: oh oh, that's what sagat said to me when he beat me up!
Terry: you should listen to him.
Ryu: no! i'm the true warrior!
Terry: no you're not. they just say that so you don't feel as pathetic as you really are.
Ryu: but no one can do what i do! and i'm on all the posters!
Terry: that's cuz you don't let anyone else come forward!
Ryu: sure i do!
Terry: like who?
Ryu: well....alex was there...
Terry: he WOULD have been there but you threw a tantrum and threatened to slit your wrist on screen if you didn't get to beat him!
Ryu: i'm true warrior damn it! No one can what i do!
Terry: you mean three moves and have a mancrush on his married bestfriend!
Ryu:
Terry: okay, cheer up man. if we get through this i'll buy you a hotdog.
Ryu: i don't eat hotdog. I train. the fight is...
Terry: yeah, yeah, shut up already. okay this is how we'll do this. you take on big, bearded russian guy and i'll..
Ryu: but i can take Akuma! i'm the true warrior!
Terry: again with the true warrior! exactly what have you done that makes you true warrior?
Ryu: well i...i...i...won SF1 with a cheapshot, never won a tournament since then, have only fought losers and hobbos, i've had trouble with dark side for most of my career, all my recorded fights are defeats...oh and my strongest move couldn't beat midtier lardass from FF.
Terry: Fatal Fury?
Ryu: no! Final Fight!
Terry: right....okay, if you want to fight akuma you can go ahead.
Ryu: exactly! that's what i'm trying to tell you! i'm a true warrior! i can beat anyone!
Terry: yeah, sure, i mean what's the worse that can happen?
Ryu: exactly. even if he is too much for me i'll just do that thing that blonde guy from Rocky3 did.
Terry: pity the foo?
Ryu: NOT HIM! the blonde guy from Rocky3 who fights Rocky! I think i look like him too! don't you think?
Terry: hogan?
Ryu: yes! hogan! i'm hogan! i'll do what he does when he wrestles. I'll just get mauled like how i did in SFA3 but i'll just power up and beat him with one move. it'll be just like when i beat M Bison. btw, don't i look like him a bit?
Terry:....yeah, you do.
Ryu: right! *walks towards akum* now to show these people what a true warrior can really do!

*akuma flicks ryu away like a booger. ryu dies. then Ken starts singing Circle of Jobbing and you see ryu smiling down at Wolverine from the sky*

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Jayct
Terry: again with the true warrior! exactly what have you done that makes you true warrior?
Ruy: I have fought over 10 000 matches. I fought Akuma to a standstill, beaten the American Martial Arts champion multiple times, beat up that giant from FFight - yes, the one who has balls the size of two mini coopers. Kicked the crap out of Alex with ease - yes the Street Fighter 3 champion. Destroyed the number 2 Muay Thai fighter in the word before I took out the muay Thai king - yes with a cheapshot, but he deserved it. I also impressed one of the strongest fighters ever enough for him to train me. I survived M Bison's Phsycho Power onslaught. And lastly, in my 10000+ fights I have only 4 or 5 recorded losses, most of them when I let the opponent win of when I was controlled or mind *****d.

Terry: Right, you go and beat him then.

Ryu proceeds to give it his all, goes insane and finally destroys Shin Gouki. Unfortunately, after 10 years, Capcom decides to change the story and we learn that Ryu now barely survived the fight and was about to die when he suddenly took out Gouki with a cheapshot when he threw one of those Mini Coopers on top of him. Ruy is branded with a cheapshot for a second time in his career and retires with his head hanging in shame.

All Ryu haters like most of the people above rejoice as they now have more ammunition to throw against him, right before they go and post on another forum how awesome and unbeatable Cloud is, and how he can destroy a Mini Cooper by only sneazing on it.

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Sado22

its probably more like this though:

Terry and Ryu face up Zangief and Akuma
Ryu: show me all you have!
*akuma obliges and sends a 50 hadoukens hurling at ryu and terry from the sky...which miss completely but manage to destroy the small mountain where the fight was to take place. ryu, zangief and terry are reported missing*

One week later. the rematch takes place

Ryu: show me..
Terry: shut the f--k up, dikweed! you want the same thing to happen again!?
Ryu: but the fight is all. its says so in my script
Terry: *reads ryu's script* dude! this script is all f--ked! its got nothing on it except "the fight is all" and "show me all you have". oh and there is this small note that says not to tell you that you're an eunuch.
Ryu: what's a eunuch?
Terry: never mind. so about the script...?
Ryu: well i never got to finish my English for Eunuchs101 course
Terry: well, anyway, i'm not I-dope so i wont make fun of english being your second language n' all. well, you do exactly what i do if you want to live through this.
Ryu: but i'm Ryu. I can take on gods and demons and everyone because i'm the true warrior
Terry: who told you that?
Ryu: my master!
Terry: your master? oh, you mean the moron who never won a single fight in his life. how did he get the license to train people anyway?
Ryu: well, he said he only taught special people!
Terry: you mean "special"
Ryu: yeah, "special"
Terry: dude...now listen here. you're 33, you never got laid, you've been wearing the same clothes since SF1 and you never even won one goddamn tourny without throwing a hissyfit. you're not a warrior. you're a loser.
Ryu: oh oh, that's what sagat said to me when he beat me up!
Terry: you should listen to him.
Ryu: no! i'm the true warrior!
Terry: no you're not. they just say that so you don't feel as pathetic as you really are.
Ryu: but no one can do what i do! and i'm on all the posters!
Terry: that's cuz you don't let anyone else come forward!
Ryu: sure i do!
Terry: like who?
Ryu: well....alex was there...
Terry: he WOULD have been there but you threw a tantrum and threatened to slit your wrist on screen if you didn't get to beat him!
Ryu: i'm true warrior damn it! No one can what i do!
Terry: you mean three moves and have a mancrush on his married bestfriend!
Ryu:
Terry: okay, cheer up man. if we get through this i'll buy you a hotdog.
Ryu: i don't eat hotdog. I train. the fight is...
Terry: yeah, yeah, shut up already. okay this is how we'll do this. you take on big, bearded russian guy and i'll..
Ryu: but i can take Akuma! i'm the true warrior!
Terry: again with the true warrior! exactly what have you done that makes you true warrior?
Ryu: well i...i...i...won SF1 with a cheapshot, never won a tournament since then, have only fought losers and hobbos, i've had trouble with dark side for most of my career, all my recorded fights are defeats...oh and my strongest move couldn't beat midtier lardass from FF.
Terry: Fatal Fury?
Ryu: no! Final Fight!
Terry: right....okay, if you want to fight akuma you can go ahead.
Ryu: exactly! that's what i'm trying to tell you! i'm a true warrior! i can beat anyone!
Terry: yeah, sure, i mean what's the worse that can happen?
Ryu: exactly. even if he is too much for me i'll just do that thing that blonde guy from Rocky3 did.
Terry: pity the foo?
Ryu: NOT HIM! the blonde guy from Rocky3 who fights Rocky! I think i look like him too! don't you think?
Terry: hogan?
Ryu: yes! hogan! i'm hogan! i'll do what he does when he wrestles. I'll just get mauled like how i did in SFA3 but i'll just power up and beat him with one move. it'll be just like when i beat M Bison. btw, don't i look like him a bit?
Terry:....yeah, you do.
Ryu: right! *walks towards akum* now to show these people what a true warrior can really do!

*akuma flicks ryu away like a booger. ryu dies. then Ken starts singing Circle of Jobbing and you see ryu smiling down at Wolverine from the sky*

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Jayct
Terry: again with the true warrior! exactly what have you done that makes you true warrior?
Ruy: I have fought over 10 000 matches. I fought Akuma to a standstill, beaten the American Martial Arts champion multiple times, beat up that giant from FFight - yes, the one who has balls the size of two mini coopers. Kicked the crap out of Alex with ease - yes the Street Fighter 3 champion. Destroyed the number 2 Muay Thai fighter in the word before I took out the muay Thai king - yes with a cheapshot, but he deserved it. I also impressed one of the strongest fighters ever enough for him to train me. I survived M Bison's Phsycho Power onslaught. And lastly, in my 10000+ fights I have only 4 or 5 recorded losses, most of them when I let the opponent win of when I was controlled or mind *****d.

Terry: Right, you go and beat him then.

Ryu proceeds to give it his all, goes insane and finally destroys Shin Gouki. Unfortunately, after 10 years, Capcom decides to change the story and we learn that Ryu now barely survived the fight and was about to die when he suddenly took out Gouki with a cheapshot when he threw one of those Mini Coopers on top of him. Ruy is branded with a cheapshot for a second time in his career and retires with his head hanging in shame.

All Ryu haters like most of the people above rejoice as they now have more ammunition to throw against him, right before they go and post on another forum how awesome and unbeatable Cloud is, and how he can destroy a Mini Cooper by only sneazing on it.