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Pirates of the Caribbean

"You best start believing in ghost stories, Ms. Turner. You're in one!"
-Cap. Barbossa-Pirates of the Caribbean

"A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks all around!"
-Cap. Jack Sparrow-Pirates of the Caribbean

"But the rum! Why is the rum gone?"
-Cap. Jack Sparrow-Pirates of the Caribbean

"-But it seems to me, that a ship like that, makes this one here a bit superfluous, really."
"-Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed."
"-Oh, really? I've heard of one. It's supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable. The Black Pearl."
"-Well, there's no REAL ship as can match the Interceptor."
"-The Black Pearl is a real ship."
"-No, no it's not."
"-Yes it is, I've seen it."
"-You've seen it?! You've seen a ship with black sails, that's crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil, that hell itself spat him back out?"
"-No."
"-No."
"-But I have seen a ship with black sails."
"-Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil, that hell itself spat him back out, could possibly have black sails, and therefore, couldn't possibly be, any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're saying?"
"-No."

Spongebob Movie

Squidward: I listen to Public Radio
Plankton: And what's that suppoused to mean?

Dennis: Plankton made it very specific
Spongebob: Plankton?
Dennis: He wanted me to step on you
Spongebob: Step on us?

Patrick: Hey Mindy, did you see my underwear?
Mindy: No, Patrick..
Patrick: ..Did you want to?

Teen Titans

Cyborg: Woah!
Slade: Woah? That's all you have to say? No clever comment? I was looking forward to that..

Beast Boy: (About Robin) He's better, now what about me?? I'm DYING over here. (Has a sneezing fit and turns into multiple animals)
Raven & Starfire: (Have a laughing fit)

Family Guy...

Peter: Hey Stewie, I see your bum!
Stewie: Well take a good look fat man, and why dont you take some pictures of it so I'll have something to look at during court, you filthy pervert!

Lois: Peter there's a hooker on the bed!
Peter: Stay perfectly still Lois, their eye sight is based on movement
Hooker:...(breaf pause)...Where'd you go?

Peter: Give it to me straight, doc, how long do I have to live!?
Doc: Well Mr.Griffin i'd say you'd have a month to live
Peter: *gasp*
Doc:..But, hell what do I know, I've been sued by every patient I ever had, I mean look at this file, *whistle* wow!

Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick!
Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!

Peter Griffin: Joe, I've had new neighbors before but none of them were half the man you are. And since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.

Lois: Peter, why would they make you president?
Peter: Maybe it's because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second - RARF!
Lois: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise.

[Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus]
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, about your pamphlet...uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian Griffin: Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.
Brian Griffin: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian Griffin: A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. (You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany.)
[throws his hand up in a Hitler salute]
Brian Griffin: ... uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

Fairly Odd Parents...

Wanda: O and look, your still in your mommies tummy
Cosmo: I thought she loved Timmy. Why did she eat him?

Naruto Quotes...

"Demon in the Snow"

Naruto: Well what about you, Zabuza? You gonna let him do that?
Zabuza: Be quiet, you fool. Haku's dead, what does it matter?
Naruto: WHAT?! YOU MEAN YOU CAN JUST STAND THERE AND WATCH HIM GET TREATED LIKE A DOG? YOU AND HAKU WERE TOGETHER FOR YEARS, DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING?!
Zabuza: You don't understand the way of Shinobi. I mearly used him, just as Gato used me. Now it's over. His usefullness is at an end. The loss of his strength and skill, yes, THAT means something to me. But the boy, nothing.
Naruto: If you mean that, your an even bigger rat than I thought.
Kakashi: Ok, that's enough. Calm down Naruto, he's not the enemy, not right now.
Naruto: Shut up! As far as I'm concerned, he's enemy #1! Why you..you ungreatfull..after everything he did for you..HAKU LIVED FOR YOU! YOU WERE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD TO HIM! AND HE MEANT NOTHING TO YOU?! NOTHING AT ALL?! WHILE HE WAS SACRIFICING EVERYTHING FOR YOU, YOU NEVER FELT ANYTHING AT ALL FOR HIM?! AND IF I BECOME STRONGER, DOES THAT MEAN...I'LL BECOME AS COLD HEARTED AS YOU ARE?! He threw his life away..And for what? For you and your dream? You never let him have a dream of his own, but he didn't care..And you just toss him around like he was nothing! A broken tool..Man that's so wrong...SO WRONG!
Zabuza:...You talk too much..*He begins crying and looks up*...Your words cut deep, deeper than any blade..While he fought you, his heart was breaking in two..You see Haku as always too soft and too kind..He felt pain and sorrow, and curse him, I feel them too!...And something else, I feel content this is the way it ends..*he bites open his mask*...Well, cat got your tougne? Are you so surprised to discover that I'm human? Even Shinobi are human, no matter how hard we try to escape that simple fact, we always fail. Well atleast, I have failed. Boy! Give me your Kunai!
*Naruto pulls out his Kunai and throws it to him.*
Naruto: Here..

Myth Busters

Quack, damn you. ~Jamie Hinemin

KMC Quotes..

quote: (post)
Originally posted by DarkC
I'd show off my manlihood, but you'd probably faint or try to stab it with a letter opener.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Bloigen
And here is my Astronaut Application form. I failed everything apart from the Date Of Birth.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Mr. Bacon
abundance of weiner present

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Wolflet
If I got all the money mist stole from everyone from some stupid rules, then maybe

quote: (post)
Originally posted by PVS
McCloggedArteries

quote: (post)
Originally posted by LanceWindu
Hooray for copy and paste!

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Mi�t
*farts* Damn Lea, gives me gas

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Itzak
You're going to have to pay for that gas.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Mi�t
*gives you 5c* Keep the change.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Xirius
exalted trouble blind Honey gropes Totally ever after On so wine cheese Supporters gnomes Sanctuary best gear tired too pirate fish more monkey Word painful lungs black Bubbles white people Bubble gum sick splat Big Brother hot dog better pitch-pipe Popeye pizza soup

quote: (post)
Originally posted by DarkC
I like, greet my "departed" dog as normally as I could.
"Yo, Chaz. What's up? No, that's not cool. Don't drool on my groin."

And then the cats at my friends: "Hey, Speedy...how're you doin', chica?"

Man, I'm weird.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Slay
In my time we played cowboy and indian

I see they changed that to wannabe Gangsta

quote: (post)
Originally posted by DarkC
The force is with me.

I made that bar glass move over there.

Or it was probably just the ventilation shafts. Damn!

quote: (post)
Originally posted by GCG
Bloigen cried "Wolf!" too many times.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Bloigen
I do believe I cried "Seal!" too many times.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by JToTheP
you have a virus in your scrotum? Oh well, let me be the first to introduce you back to KMC as;

ONE NUT K DIDDY!

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Tired Hiker
Chuck Norris could reincarnate as Kimbo and kill himself. If he wanted to.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Storm
This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-�-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Ceterum censeo OTF esse delendam.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Captain Falcon
quiet Bloigen, back in your cage.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by -hh-
i can translate some dreams

my grandmother was really good at it. she also could read coffee cups

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Lord Paradise
I'll pair you with a lottery winner, then you steal the money and we split it.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Ronny
Dont blame me, Its all Mist's fault for not putting a handle on my crotch

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Inspectah Deck
All almonds are nuts, but not all nuts are almonds.

So therefore, walnuts taste better!

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
"****ing Whale"

You contiune to make me laugh Ronny

Yeah, too many fattys around the world too, I blame Ronald McFattypants.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Did you just say "Jacks Off from Matrix"

That sounds so wrong, so very wrong.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Barker
...

I had Spring Break just last Month, and you're out for Summer?

Good Buddha, that's weird.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
I hate Snow.

Were I live, one storm causes about 3 feet of snow, Everywhere. During winter we get a storm every like 4 days, and Guess who has to shovel it.

Its fun for the first storm, but the next 237 Suck.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Bloigen
Okay, that doesn't make sense to me.

So, I'm just going to conclude that you, your friend, your teacher and a bear are making robot porn.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by marilyn manson
where s the rules anyway

quote: (post)
Originally posted by BlackSunshine
stop saying fuk....please its rather agravating.....but so am I

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Koala MeatPie
Well you are part right.

I have a Cybernetic Bio-Mechanical Penial Organ.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by ~Da Moose~
It's Oprah, it's long and it's hard. What is there NOT to turn you on?

quote: (post)
Originally posted by DarkC
I'd say something suggestive at this point, but I just sneezed.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by GCG
Even this is rude : <3

Number 3 looks like a nut sack.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by H. S. 6
Oh, wow... this is a cool thread. This is like--yeah, this is like, where all the... um... cool people would hang out. Cuz, you know, it's... cool--you know, cool like that.

Vinny, go to your room.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by LanceWindu
My balls are brass...

There once was a man from the grass
Who had balls made of fine brass.
In stormy weather they'd clink together,
And sparks flew out of his ass.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Bloigen
I live on the sun.

It's always cold.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Gornack
Great GOOGILY MOOGILY! I just got slapped! *grabs another beer and feels the love*

quote: (post)
Originally posted by FG725
~~omg that is the most hilarious thing i have ever heard in my entire life~~ omg that's horrible that's like being banned

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Xavius
He's Mr. Threadsucks.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Xavius
You insulting Bacon Salesman? Who the hell insults a Ph.D??!!

Don't make me whip out Cynical Cherry.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
It would have been funnier if it were a juggernaut.

Then you could say "I'm 'bout to get hit by a juggernaut, *****!"

-AC

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Pink Maynard
I'VE GOT ONE THING TO SAY ABOUT THAT

here's a llama
there's a llama
and another little llama
fuzzy llama
funny llama
llama llama
duck

llama llama
cheesecake
llama
tablet
brick
potato
llama
llama llama
mushroom
llama
llama llama
duck

i was once a treehouse
i lived in a cake
but i never saw the way
the orange slayed the rake
i was only three years dead
but it told a tale
and now listen, little child
to the safety rail

did you ever see a llama
kiss a llama
on the llama
llama's llama
tastes of llama
llama llama
duck

half a llama
twice the llama
not a llama
farmer
llama
llama in a car
alarm a llama
llama
duck

is THIS how it's told now?
is it all so old?
is it made of lemon juice?
doorknob
ankle
cold
now my song is getting thin
i've run out of luck
time for me to retire now
and become a duck

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Your Story was so good, that I told myself to post here, but I doubt I will because that story sucked.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by ~Da Rev~
Jesus tapdancing christ.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Bloigen
Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: A: A Doberman in a playground

quote: (post)
Originally posted by ~Da Rev~
The bastard yo-yo's. Dont mess with them, their uprising has begun, Viva la Yo-Yo revolution.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Flamboyant4Life
Oh and I love how AJ gets banned for 10 days for making a hate thread against a moderator, yet I get banned for 14 days for bumping a thread...

quote: (post)
Originally posted by ~B@ckB0n3~
USA! Unexpected Sack Attack!

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Itzak
UK! Underwear Kingdom!

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Jack of Light
Spirit Binder:

Has a some sort of Nintendo Bruce Lee in his avatar and sig.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by InnerRise
OH....but you called for it...

I just picked up the phone and called back.

Don't start what you can't finish pimp!

anata wa wakarimasu ka.....

quote: (post)
Originally posted by BakaXero
You don't happan to walk around saying, "You, don't happen you be a pokemon, do you? Cause I just want a Pik-at-Chu", do you?

quote: (post)
Originally posted by BackFire
At least they promote safe sex.

Also, someone got a free condom, good for McD's.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Da Rev
How do I care; let me count the ways.

Zero

Kthnxbai

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Scythe
Long hair is for women and overweight rockers who don't care if their cock is hanging out.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by R�land
Mom: Are you practicing safe sex Derek?

Me: Of course mom, I always remember to pull out.

Red vs Blue Quotes..

Doc: I'm here Caboose, where're you hit?
Caboose: Ah, ow, ow, ow, my foot, my foot!
Doc: The left foot?
Caboose: Ah, left. Let's see, that makes an L with this thumb and...
Doc: I'm just gonna assume it's the bleeding one.
Caboose: Yeah, the red one. Aeh. I can't believe Church shot me.
Church: Oh don't even start, Caboose!
Doc: Anything else?
Caboose: Uh, well wha?
Doc: You have a bullet wound in the foot. Is anything else wrong?
Caboose: Uh... Oh, I got one. Uh, Whell, sometimes when I fall asleep at night I think about my parents having sex, and I get really really mad for some reason.
Doc: ... ... ... Okay I'm just gonna start with the foot.
Caboose: Okay.

Tucker: ..Oh f*ckberries...

Sarge: OK, First, we want your flag...
Simmons: Wait, hold on a sec..The last time we got the flag, the chick in the black armor showed up
Sarge:...To stay right where it is. Keep your flag. But we do want our mechanized droid guy back!
Church: Uh-Oh.
Sarge: You may know his as "Senior El-Robato".
Tucker: Well Church, what's it gonna be?
Church: Chingazo! No way! I'm not giving back my body, I just got this thing!
Sarge: I don't think you can keep his nuts! Or bolts or..other mechanical parts.
Church: Uh, he's not here anymore!
Tucker: Yeah he left! He was all like "Sia Nara", and then he just took off!
Church: That's not Spanish you idiot, that's French..here, let's try this.
Church: Hey reds! How about a medic! Would you take a medic into hostage?
Doc: A hostage? I'm suppoused to go over there.
Simmons: Hey, that sound's good to me!
Griff: I dunno, I think we could hold out for more..
Simmons: We don't have any bullets left dumbass.
Griff: Oh yeah..Take the medic, the medic's a good deal.
Sarge: Alright..we'll take your medic.
Church: Now what do we get?
Simmons: YOU??!! Your surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!
Tucker: We already have that! What else do you have?
Sarge: What do you want?
Church: How about you admit that the red team sucks?
*Whispering among reds*
Sarge: How about we admit one of us sucks?
Griff: Nice..Wait, we mean Doughnut right?
*20 minutes later*
Sarge: OK, so we agree to the terms?
Church: Yep, you first, then we'll send over our medic.
Sarge: Get up there Griff!
Griff: Alright! Alright.
*Griff goes up*
Griff:..I just want everyone to know, that I suck..
Church: And?
Griff:..and I'm a girl..
Church: And?
Griff:..and I like ribbons in my hair, and I wanna kiss all the boys.
Sarge: This may be the best surrender of all time..
Church: Alright..we're sending over our medic...Go for it Doc
*Doc goes over*
Griff: You better be worth it..
Doc: Just a question, did they put something in the water here?
Griff: Water? We ran outta water six months ago!
Doc: What do you drink then?
Griff: Oh you know..Ketchup, Soy Sauce, Gravy, the usual.
Sarge: I only drink the blood of my enemies!..Course, I do ocasionally like sex on the beach..or a Pina Calata..
If you like Pina Calata's,
Gettin' caught in the rain,
If your not into Yoga,
You must have half a brain....

SW: KotOR 2 Quotes..

Darth Sion: I sense you my master. Faint. Weak.
Kreia: Your senses betray you, as you betrayed me.
Sion: After that has happened, still you live. You are difficult to kill.
Kreia: For one as limited as you, perhaps. To have fallen so far, and learned nothing. That is your failing.
Sion: The failure is yours. No longer do your whispers crawl within my skull. No longer do I suffer beneath teachings that weaken us. And now you run in search of the Jedi. They are all dead, save one. And one broken Jedi can not stop the darkness that is to come.
Kreia: Perhaps. We shall see.