so if you are with someone, and you love them with all of your heart, and they have sex with another guy, it is fine? you would be fine with this?
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What a dumb ass question. People fukc people everyday it's not whether they love them or not it's whether they are turned on by that person. But I think if you are with someone fully with someone and love them then that she be the only person you are even thinking about having sex with.. you should commit yourself to that person you love. Not start getting involved with other people.
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Sex and Love are not the same thing. Sex does not = Love, just like Love does not = sex.
People cheat for many reasons, and its not always because they didn't love thier partner. Reasons can vary from insecurity, anger, or sexual boredom, attraction to another
Just because you are in Love does not mean you stop finding other people attractive. On top of that, just because you are in Love doesn't mean you will be entirely sexually satisfied.
I am not condoning cheating, please do not get me wrong, but a relationship is a committment, and commitments are not simple. They take consistant dedication from both partners.
Sex, in essense, has always been about two things: Pleasure and Pro-creation. The attachment of sex to love is something that society has manufactured and cannot be backed up by nature. Most animals in the wild have multiple partners.
Likewise, it is natural to have sex with more than one partner, however, the act of commitment to one is something that we have instilled upon our own culture and urge others to follow.
Rogue Jedi, I understand where you are coming from, but you have to remember not everyone is as sensitive and sentimental about relationships like you are, especially other men. And the sentiments you value are not the same sentiments that others value.
Let me ask you: What would you think if you fell in a love with a girl, and she was entirely sexually committed to you. She only got naked with you, she only kissed and had sex with you.
However, she doesn't engage in extensive conversation with you. She talks a LOT to other men and women, and laughs a lot with other people, but with you she's kinda stale, and the sex is the only thing she gives you exclusively.
She gives others more attention than she gives you, even though she only has sex with you.
Now...would you feel she was cheating on you ? Why or why not ?
The only loophole in this argument is if you've never slept with the person that you're in love with AND they don't know that you're in love with them.
People love in different ways, and people have different values, do you guys not understand that ?
Polygomy and Threesome Relationships Do exist you know, and people who invest in that are generally as happy as those of us who practice monogomy.
Just because a person has sex with another partner does not mean they don't love you.
Like I said before, someone can remain sexually loyal to you, but give far more attention to others than you. And the question of "True Love" will still arise.
It's far more complicated than that, the world of romance, sex, and love is not Black and White.
I'm happily married to a fanstatic woman. Just because I give my female coworkers more attention and flirt with them (for office banter sake) in a manner I do not with my wife, does not mean that I like them more, nor my wife less, does it?
However, I do understand what you're getting at. In essence, we're finding exceptions to the rule though.
People love in different ways is my point, and "monogomy" is a human constructed practice, it's not something Nature lead the way for.
That does not in anyway, decrease the value of monogomy, but everyone has different values and priorities, and when two people are together, in order for the relationship to work, those mutual values have to be respected.
A person can have sex with someone, and still not care whether or not that person lives or dies. I know that's scary, but it's unfortunately true. Sex is not Love.
Sex is just Sex. And Sex, to one person, may be an expression of love, while to another person it may just be "sexy time".
And honestly, i would rather a boyfriend of mine have sex with another guy, then volunarily spend more time with another guy. I can forgive if my boyfreind messes around with a really hott guy, because I too have a problem resisting sex if the guy is very attractive, but it would totally hurt my feelings if my boyfreind went on a vacation with another guy freind instead of me (even if they didn't have sex).
I value commitment, company, attention, and honesty more so than sexual loyalty.
Yup, thats cheating emotionally, just as bad as physical cheating. I have suffered through emotional AND physical cheating in a previous relationship. Unfortunately, some people fail to realize what they have right in front of them. And no matter how much you reach out to them, they shut you out, and inevitably seek comfort in the arms and/or company of another. Makes you wonder why you ever wasted your time. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? And I am stronger now, a better person for it, in a VERY good place. Growing pains, I guess.
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All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
KMC Community Forums
Aug 3rd, 2007 04:22 AM
