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Twilight vs. Hancock
Started by: Cryo

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Cryo
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Twilight vs. Hancock

John Hancock faces off against the Twilight vampires and the Wolf pack. (All Members included.) No restrictions, anything goes.

Fight takes place at night, in a huge open area surrounded by woods.
Twilight on one side, Hancock on the other. 500 meters apart.

Who wins?

Feb 27th, 2011 08:28 PM

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AuraAngel
Hegemon

Gender: Male
Location: Up and Down and All Around

Well....maybe when Alec does something in the films the Vampires might stand a catch. Right now though, Hancock will kill 'em. Except for perhaps Jane or Jasper.

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Feb 27th, 2011 08:30 PM

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KingD19
Shai-Gen's Enigmatic Wong

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Hancock speedblitzes most of them as soon as the match starts.

Feb 28th, 2011 07:51 AM

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Placidity
Chief Executive Officer

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Location: Germany

I hate to say it, but Jane might actually win it for Twilight.

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Feb 28th, 2011 08:41 AM

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Darth Piggott
Sith Acolyte

Gender: Male
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I think Hancock would wipe the floor with everyone in Twilight as long as he doesnt have a hangover

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Feb 28th, 2011 08:50 AM

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AuraAngel
Hegemon

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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Placidity
I hate to say it, but Jane might actually win it for Twilight.

She can hurt Hancock but much beyond that they can't really do anything to him.

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Feb 28th, 2011 02:09 PM

Placidity
Chief Executive Officer

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quote: (post)
Originally posted by TheAuraAngel
She can hurt Hancock but much beyond that they can't really do anything to him.

That depends if you think they can pierce his skin with their teeth.

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Feb 28th, 2011 02:22 PM

the ninjak
FRINGE Division

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The TwiVamps couldn't possibly compete with HAncock's speed, strength and durability.

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Feb 28th, 2011 02:25 PM

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Placidity
Chief Executive Officer

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quote: (post)
Originally posted by the ninjak
The TwiVamps couldn't possibly compete with HAncock's speed, strength and durability.

Thats why I said Jane is the only one that could bring him down. Yet to hear arguments for this.

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Feb 28th, 2011 08:33 PM

Robtard
Senor Member

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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Placidity
That depends if you think they can pierce his skin with their teeth.

He had no problem with .50 caliber bullets and was able to casually deflect an RPG with his hand. That and taking hits from a more powerful version of himself while being weakened.

Don't see how vampire teeth are going to damage him.

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Feb 28th, 2011 08:37 PM

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Sadako of Girth
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Placidity
That depends if you think they can pierce his skin with their teeth.

Will their teeth cut their own rectums up, when their heads go up each other's arses...?

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Feb 28th, 2011 10:55 PM

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dadudemon
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: Bacta Tank.

Well, there is Renata. All she has to do is touch a person and all physical attacks really don't work for whatever's in that shield over her and her "protected."

Which brings up another point: I'm almost certain that Twilight's wrtier, Meyer, stole that idea from Harry Potter's writer, Rowling: it functions JUST like an anti-muggle shield charm. WTF?

Honestly, I don't know what to say. I wanted to knee-jerk and say that it's a land-slide victory for Hancock.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Will their teeth cut their own rectums up, when their heads go up each other's arses...?

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Feb 28th, 2011 11:09 PM

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FinalAnswer
Flower

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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Placidity
Thats why I said Jane is the only one that could bring him down. Yet to hear arguments for this.

Hancock kills them before they can react mebbe?

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Feb 28th, 2011 11:21 PM

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NemeBro
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Hancock lazily bracing himself stopped a train with enough force to send it off the rails. no expression

He could, in an instant and while weakened, leave the city of New York in his flight.

He tears them to pieces.

Seriously, no matter how much pain Jane causes him, they cannot so much as break his skin, and he could lazily rip them in half.

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Feb 28th, 2011 11:27 PM

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AuraAngel
Hegemon

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quote: (post)
Originally posted by NemeBro
Seriously, no matter how much pain Jane causes him, they cannot so much as break his skin, and he could lazily rip them in half.

Pretty much. Would need serious powers in the Breaking Dawn movie for it to matter.

Mar 1st, 2011 01:59 AM

Utrigita
Senior Member

Gender: Male
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by NemeBro
Hancock lazily bracing himself stopped a train with enough force to send it off the rails.

He could, in an instant and while weakened, leave the city of New York in his flight.

He tears them to pieces.

Seriously, no matter how much pain Jane causes him, they cannot so much as break his skin, and he could lazily rip them in half.

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Mar 1st, 2011 08:16 PM

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Robtard
Senor Member

Gender: Unspecified
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by NemeBro

Seriously, no matter how much pain Jane causes him, they cannot so much as break his skin, and he could lazily rip them in half.

Question is, since they're granite-like would their assholes expand to accept a head or would their asses simply shatter?

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Mar 1st, 2011 09:18 PM

dadudemon
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: Bacta Tank.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Robtard
Question is, since they're granite-like would their assholes expand to accept a head or would their asses simply shatter?

Answer: Bella describes the skin as "fleshy" once she becomes a vampire. To a human, it feels as hard as granite. To a vampire, it feels "normal" due to the massive strength difference between a vampire and a human.

How do I know this? I read Breaking Dawn. no expression

That means the ***hole should expand but due to the "frozen in time clause, it will shrink right back down.

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Mar 1st, 2011 09:25 PM

Omega Vision
Face Flowed Into Her Eyes

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quote: (post)
Originally posted by dadudemon
Answer: Bella describes the skin as "fleshy" once she becomes a vampire. To a human, it feels as hard as granite. To a vampire, it feels "normal" due to the massive strength difference between a vampire and a human.

How do I know this? I read Breaking Dawn.

That means the ***hole should expand but due to the "frozen in time clause, it will shrink right back down.

The subject matter of this conversation is a poignant indicator of the literary merit of Twilight.

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Mar 1st, 2011 09:34 PM

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Robtard
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by dadudemon
That means the ***hole should expand but due to the "frozen in time clause, it will shrink right back down.

I've seen enough WTF porn to know that the human ******* is one seriously resilient mofo; that has insane abilities of going back to normal even after extreme 'stress.'

But as it pertains to the thread, Edward will get what he's always dreamed about, short-shorts boy's wolf-head up his vampire ass.

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Mar 1st, 2011 09:38 PM

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