KMC Forums - Marka Ragnos versus C-3PO

C-3PO descends from the heavens, wreathed in the blue flames of a thousand suns... His golden skin impossible to see through the blanket of fire. He lands on the ground, scortching the very earth beneath him.

"Oh my... terribly sorry! Where am I? Artoo? Artoo, where have you gotten us to?"

The little atrsomech droid beeps and whistles, settling down casually beside him. He emits a buzz, and whirls about, noting somerthing.

In front of them, in the field of battle, stands Marka Ragnos, the legendary leader of the fallen Sith Empire. He stands resplendant in his robes of black, gauntlets shimmering with the light of the glowing linguist droid. His sword, a collosal weapon of potency, held easily in one hand, his enchanted sceptre in the other. He looks upon them with disdain, and his mouth opens, uttering words that shake the very ground with their power.

"Fools! To barge in unnannounced into my realm! You shall know defeat a thousandfold when I am through with you!"

C-3PO shudders as only a droid can. "Oh no... A Sith Lord! Artoo, this is the end. Hold me."

Ragnos speeds forward, whirling his great sword above his head, ready to slash the droid in half. Just as he comes up to C-3PO, Artoo bumps into the golden droid, sending him sprawling. Ragnos misses, but quickly recovers, aiming to cleave the damn droid in two. Suddenly, he is shocked as a little taser appears from Artoo's chasis. The astromech droid starts rolling towards the Sith Lord, taser flashing.

"Argh! Damn insect.... stoppit! Ow.... you're hurting me!!"

Artoo keeps on assailing the great Sith Lord, tasering his ass, making him dance. Finally, Artoo reaches out, using the Force. Ragnos begins to lift in the air, spinning like mad. The taser keeps hitting him.

Beep, boop.... beeep!

"Artoo, what are you doing? What? You? A -god?! What nonsense, Artoo. You are an astromech droid... Why am I on fire? Well, i thought it was... the heat from the shuttle falling apart around us." C-3PO chattered. Finally, the plasma grenade that Artoo had stickied to his back went off, blowing him into pieces.

Meanwhile, Ragnos was on a wheel or torture. Artoo began to sling him back and forth, crashing into rocks and trees. Bouncing him like a basketball.

"Aahhh... let me die, I beg of you!" Ragnos cried. But he was in Artoo's clutches now, the God of Jawas!

Eventually, Ragnos was richochetted off of a particularly sharp rock, and died. Artoo beeped mournfully, for he had lost his toy. But at least that ass C-3PO got his. Mwa ha ha ha... MOral of the story? Don't **** with Artoo!