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Snafu the Great
Jerkass Woobie
 Gender: Male
Location: Everything you know is wrong. |
'Ash' Williams vs Pinhead
This has been a long time coming.
One of Ashley Williams' co-workers was obsessed in looking for the Necronomican, the Book of the Dead. Bound in human flesh, inked in blood (and incredibly hard to pronounce), The Book was destroyed (finally!) by Ash following the last Deadite invasion.
Instead, the co-worker found something that could be possibly worse: Lemarchand's box, better known as the Lament Configuration. Said co-worker unlocks the Configuration...and all Hell breaks loose...literally.
Pinhead and his Cenobites invade, turning the S-Mart into a virtual killing field.
This doesn't sit well with Ash. While managing his Housewares department, one of his pretty co-workers was ripped to shreds by Pinhead's hooks. That pisses him off plenty.
Pinhead is surprised when he sees one of his hooks blasted out of the air. The person responsible: a certain S-Mart clerk with a chainsaw for a right hand and toting a sawed-off double-barrel shotgun.
"Hoo..." Ash guffaws. "And I thought the Deadites were bad. You got them beat, buddy."
"Foolish mortal," Pinhead sneers. "I will show you the true meaning of pain."
Pinhead sends several chained hooks at Ash...who slices through them with his diamond-bladed chainsaw. Several of Pinhead's Cenobite minions also meet the same fate when the Cenobite boss sends them after Ash.
"Who are you?" Pinhead asks, obviously impressed.
"Name's Ash. Housewares," Ash replies. "And I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store, porcupine-head."
"You can try," Pinhead said "When this is over, we will have eternity to know your flesh."
Ash levels the 'boomstick' at Pinhead. "Know this."
__________________
Chuck Norris learned his trademark move, along with his sense of duty and justice, from Jesus after watching Him roundhouse kick a money changer out of the temple.
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Aug 9th, 2008 05:32 PM |
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Rogue Jedi
Restricted
 Gender: Male
Location: On my way to the Cage Account Restricted |
I really cannot imagine Ash being quick enough to slice Pinhead's chained hooks outta the air.
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
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Aug 9th, 2008 06:03 PM |
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Impediment
Endless
 Gender: Male
Location: The Dreaming Moderator |
Snafu, sometimes I really wonder where you get your ideas.
Ash is a mortal man with a chainsaw hand and shotgun.
Pinhead is an angel/demon with divine powers. He can alter reality and produce chained hooks from nothingness.
Also, there is no mention, at all, of Ash having a diamond-bladed chainsaw in the Evil Dead movies. Even if he did, he would not be able to overcome the barrage of hooks flying at him.
I swear........
__________________
“Dreams shape the world."
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Aug 9th, 2008 06:09 PM |
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Rogue Jedi
Restricted
Gender: Male
Location: On my way to the Cage Account Restricted |
Pinhead versus Neo 
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
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Aug 9th, 2008 06:18 PM |
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