Starring: Mads Mikkelsen, Gary Lewis, Jamie Sives, Ewan Stewart, Alexander Morton, Andrew Flanagan, Gary McCormack, Gordon Brown
Plot Summary: "Valhalla Rising" tells the story of One-Eye, a mute warrior of supernatural strength, who has been held prisoner by the chieftain Barde for many years. Aided by a boy, Are, he kills his captor and together they escape, beginning a journey into the heart of darkness
I gave it a 6-7...can't decide if it should be a 6 or a 7 because I could justify either score just as easily.
Really really good at parts and then it "tried too hard" at others.
Also, I think they did a "veiled" buttrape scene and it made me lol.
they could have made this movie about 45 minutes long if they would have cut out that slow mo portions.
This movie is definitely not shit and is worth a watch...but it would not be worth going to the theater for, imo.
I did not like the ending.
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: It would have been excellent writing if One-Eye was actually a Native American and act V explored that and explained that One-Eye was actually going back home. I was thinking (when the Act V flashed on the screen with the title "Hell"), "Holy shit, wow: that would be excellent writing if they tied in the whole "One-Eye is from hell*" aspect and then this whole thing would fall into place, One-Eye would be vindicated/reach his peace/explain why he wouldn't talk or was a mute (because that would mean he spoke a different language)/and bring peace to the boy that seemed like he cared.
But, nooooooo, it had to be one of those that tried too hard and wanted to go for an "artsy" ending.
If the writer/director spent more time trying to tell a better story instead of winning a Sundance film award, it would have been much better.
*That's because the Vikings said he was from Hell and many of them said that the land they landed in was "Hell." It was almost a no brainier...but I think that that might have been an abanded plot or something because it seemed to fit together much too nicely.
Still, it was good enough to watch one boring weekend. I recomend you watch it, Robtard. You might get slight entertainment or enjoy some of the "acurate" depictions such as drinking salt water.
__________________
Last edited by dadudemon on Dec 21st, 2010 at 11:50 PM
"Veiled buttrape"? Did you watch a censored version, cos the one I saw had a butt-rape clear as day.
While I did enjoy some aspects of the film, it wasn't good overall. Tried to be an art-house-esque film; they threw in action and gore, just didn't gel well together.
I did not see butt-rape clear as day. It showed some "artsy" slow-mo shots of a dude getting his face pushed into the mud, but nothing revealing that butt-rape was taking place. An adult mind is supposed to fill in the gaps but it was definitely "veiled buttrape."
I thought the film was much better than it was going to be.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
KMC Community Forums
Mar 5th, 2010 11:49 AM
