and therin lies a problem...
in the context of Luke dieing..i'm not planning on putting that in in a present tense...i was thinking that it would've happened previously...possibly describe a scene similar to Luke when he was with Yoda when he died...a touching death of a Jedi master who wasn't killed in battle as most have been...but died peacefully of old age
i was also thinking of a scene whereby Ben is meditating in the Jedi temple surrounded by statues of past Jedi masters when Luke appears and tells Ben the history of the Jedi including Yoda, Qui gon, Obi wan and all the others who made up the old Jedi order
i am toying with the idea of a scene on "the other side" whereby there is a problem in the realm of the force itself that concerns the future of the force as a tool for the living...although i'm not sure quite how this will be carried out
i also like the idea of Ovon(name as a work in progress) being manipulated and guided by a dead sith lord....perhaps having him guided to tatooine to get the sabre...
the introduction of Ovons character has him having voices speaking to him in his sleep... this is going to be that initial contact with the dark side
i also have a visual idea of a battle on a planet in a very foggy and misty surrounding where a small band of jedi are fighting the droid troops and something big happens although i cant give all my secrets away can i?
Originally posted by DarthMandalore
Is there going to be anything with the Sith? Korriban? Maybe some spirits of some of the well known Sith?
Originally posted by Darth Travizzle
So that when you make another story
thanks for the suggestions but lets not get too carried away with how much time i can afford to give to this story
not to mention you over estimate my ability to create something beyond a single story
but its coming along
i didn't write anything the last couple of days because its been far to hot and humid to concentrate on anything other than laying outside with a cold drink
but i've done about 10 pages so far which are the rough ideas for 2 scenes. a couple of introductary passages and a sort of prologue chapter
i'm trying to write it so that it creates images for the reader so im trying to stick to known locations in order to help that concept
im also considering the fact that the 2 trilogies of film have various mirrored scenes in them such as luke vs vader in front of the emperor and anakin vs dooku in front of palps
i might try to incorporate something similar in the story...not neccessarily to thoses scenes but just some vague references to the trilogies
and i may stick in a few guest appearances by KMC people as well 😛
thought i'd give you guys a little update
im at about 50 pages now...most of the meat is done...the main scenes etc...
i'm currently piecing them together.
im trying to self critique what im writing and my main flaw that i feel is that i am trying to include to much historical information when i'm using previously known locations
here is an example of Ovon doing some training on Myrkr (the planet that talon karrde had his smuggling operation on)
tell me what you think
night has fallen on the forests of Myrkr and as they have done for many centuries, the Vornskr are hunting the ysalamiri using the power of the force. They are large wild beasts who hunt and kill members of so called “intelligent” species who haplessly wander into the deep forests. Tonight it is they who are being hunted.
Ovon stands alone, hooded, the rain driving hard on the cliff edge that overhangs the dense foliage below. The howls of the Vornskr can barely be heard above the monotonous cracking of the sky caused by the regular flashes of lightning in the low hanging clouds. But Ovon’s senses are honed close to perfection. Trained in the dark side and the intimate ways of the force by the long dead Darth _____ . Ovon stands alone. Here on this long abandoned world for one sole purpose. To gain the power that will turn the galaxy back to the ways of the Sith.
In a flash as quick as the lightning that surrounds him. Ovon throws off his robe and leaps from the cliff edge. He flips forward in a crucifix position as his recently acquired lightsabres detach from their belt housings and come to rest, one in each of Ovon’s hands and the same time his feet touch the ground of the forest floor, legs together, still in the crucifix position. The light from the flashing sky is muted below the canopy of the forest. Ovon cannot see his prey but they can see him. Sight is a sense that has become largely irrelevant to Ovon anyway. His acute training in the force has overridden the need to sense in any other way. Many of his training sessions were conducted blind folded and many of the fights he had partaken in on the outer rim worlds were done with eyes closed in so that he would insult his meagre opponents.
Now he stands in the middle of a forest that would be deadly to all but the best force trained individuals in the galaxy. Only Luke and Mara jade skywalker had managed to escape from this jungle without falling victim to the Vornskr packs that roam the forest as the dominant species. Ovon was not here to merely survive. He was here to destroy.
As he stood there among the trees in the dark. His red sabre in his left hand flashed open. Pointing towards the sky above and simultaneously his green sabre, which he took from a Jedi sniper he had slain on Dantooine, cracked open in his right hand pointing towards the forest floor.
Just as Ovon’s eyes opened the first Vornskr pounced silently from behind and with minimum movement, Ovon met its threat with a stab of his red sabre. The creature fell to the ground and as it let out its last cry and just as the forest was about to fall silent around him. All hell broke loose. The rest of the pack launched at Ovon one after another but their meagre force hunting abilities were no match for the power of a dark Jedi. Within seconds the entire pack was slaughtered and the lightsabre were switched off as Ovon stood silently among the dead animals. The only source of light being the still glowing lightsabre wounds of the many dead creatures that lay at his feet. A smile rose on Ovon’s face as the power of the force surged through him. He took in a deep breath and disappeared silently into the jungle using Jedi speed to blaze his way over large distances in a short period of time. As he travelled though the forest he could sense the gaps in the force that the ysalamiri created. These strange and delicate force resistant creatures were the only species native to the known galaxy that could push back the force. And this ability had been sought by many as way of overthrowing the Jedi knights as the dominant force in the galaxy.
Ovon ran almost without disturbing anything at all. His presence went unnoticed by virtually all the nocturnal species of the Myrkr forests. His ghost like abilities made him an impossible target. He would have made an excellent assassin. He DID make an excellent assassin. As he began to sense another pack of Vornskr ahead in the forest his sabres once again flashed into action as he tore through the forest. Disappearing into the deep, the only noises that could be heard were the dieing screams of more of the fearsome beasts of Myrkr.
Sorry, but this story sounds like one big cliche
which is kind of a good thing given that starwars has always been a cliched story
young boy goes off in search of adventure...meets some friends rescues princess...beats evil ruler...everyone lives happily ever after
doesn't really get that much more cliched does it?
Originally posted by jaden101That's true. Just think it should be time for a change.
which is kind of a good thing given that starwars has always been a cliched storyyoung boy goes off in search of adventure...meets some friends rescues princess...beats evil ruler...everyone lives happily ever after
doesn't really get that much more cliched does it?
didn't know that...cheers though
i'm currently writing the final fight between Ovon and Ben...its set of the plains of Dantooine near the coast... there is a fog that surrounds them as they fight...its quite dramatic...and is also the place where the big twist in the story comes...i'm actually kind of excited just writing it