I wanted to address this and ask if you or anyone else has a similar physiological reaction to bad or boring movies and lectures.
This has to do with my theory that blood flow is directly related to boredom regardless of what position your sitting in or for how long.
Stage 1: Your left leg false asleep
Stage 2: Your right leg falls asleep
Stage 3: the numbness goes up both your legs and settles at the bottom of your ass cheeks so you feel like you just sat down in some snow. You begin slowly dragging your ass in a circular motion and clenching your butt cheeks while lightly stamping your feet attempting to relieve the numbness. The effort is in vain but nonetheless feels really good for some reason.
Stage 4: Numbness extends full to your ass and across your taint. Your balls start tingling uncomfortably. Your bladder shrinks to the size of a newborn infant's and that piece of ice you let melt in your mouth during the previews is making you want to piss like a racehorse. This is the stage when you start to fidget and bother people around you who think you might have a serious neurological condition, be a criminal frotteurist, or have a paper wasp that flew up your pant legs.
Stage 5: The numbness spreads completely across your ass and goodies so that you feel like your wearing pressure stockings that have been filled with ice, Novocaine, and calcium oxide. You will also become inexplicably gassy making any date a true failure. At this point, you will not, nor will you particularly want to get laid for the next hour or so and if you try to stand up suddenly, you will fall forward and bust your nose on the seat in front of you.
Stage 6: You temporarily fall asleep with your mouth open and snore even if you have never snored in your life. When you make up, you will have a gross feeling in your mouth as if you haven't brushed your teeth in three months and have been using garbage water as a free substitute for Listerine and your head and face will ache like you got punched while sick with the flu. At this point you feel so miserable that you just want to go home, brush your teeth, pop a dayquil, sit on the toilet for 20 minutes, and then do something active.
__________________ Land of the free, home of the brave...
Do you think we will ever be saved?
In this land of dreams find myself sober...
Wonder when will it'll all be over...
Living in a void when the void grows colder...
Wonder when it'll all be over?
Will you be laughing when it's over?
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
Gender: Male Location: Dos Palos, lol. I hate that place.
a grossly obese Will Smith fan coincidentally showed up when me and my mom and sister went to check out both I, Robot and I Am Legend. but that's not the creepy part.
it doesn't help that he had to sit behind us, either one or two rows behind us, munching what sounded like BBQ ribs and nachos. he'd pretty much shout quips about Will Smith "getting some", "doesn't play like that", and other stupid 'witty' banter throughout. the moment Will speaks, the fanboy had something to say.
when he showed up the next time, he was quiet... somewhat. wasn't so much of a problem as the old couple and the handicapped kid in a wheelchair who showed up, continuously asking questions out loud as to what's going on.
most of the other times, there'd be people who bring in their young babies or children to a film they're not really supposed to go into - prompting at least two minutes of crying. or someone sets the cellphones off.
Gender: Female Location: When in Doubt, Go to the Library.
Bits of HP 7 pt. 1. Sitting behind us were that lovely combination of preteen/tween who still think the opposite cooties. So we got wolf whistles when : Harry takes off his clothes to dive into the lake; when Harry and Hermione danced, when Harry and Ginny kissed and "zipped,"
and, of course, the Locket scene.
It was not fun.
__________________
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
Gender: Female Location: When in Doubt, Go to the Library.
Everything except falling asleep. And then it sucks arse afterwards because my muscles the best, so I have to take, like, Hydrocodone to make sure the pain goes away. BLEARGHH
[sorry for the double post.]
__________________
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
Gender: Male Location: In Luna's mane, chasing STAAARS!
When it's summer, never go to the movies while the air conditioners are not working. I had to suffer for an hour while watching Bruce Almighty.
I hate it when people drop their food on the floor right after a movie is over. What makes me hate it more is that the room's dark and I can hardly see what's on said floor. Sometimes, I almost stepped on nacho cheese, chips, and/or hotdogs. Doesn't anyone realize that there are trash cans right next to the doors?
Halloween, they were reshowing it at the theaters in Gainesville a few years back, however I forgot somehow that college towns have an uncountable amount of douchebags, so throughout the movie we had the token group of dicks sitting directly behind us laughing throughout the entire movie. >_>
Also I can't remember what film it was, it was some comedy though, and behind me was a group of middle school kids who just thought they were the hottest shit in town and decided that they were going to make fun of the movie. Finally about halfway through my friend told them to shut the hell up and thankfully that was the end of it.
Worst experience ever, without question though was The Mummy 3, first of all it was the Mummy 3, which was bad enough as is. But there was this black couple sitting beside me and they would not shut up, I asked them like three seperate times to be quiet, but they just kept running their damn mouths, so I got security and they told them to be quiet. Well they kept going, so once again I got security, and they gave them a final warning. They were finally quiet for the last thirty minutes or so of the film, and then they decided that they were going to follow me out to my car, luckily the security guard saw them and told them to wait while I got into my car. Which was good, because I'm skinny and white and they were most definitely neither of those.
__________________ I've got a Charisma of 23, max ranks and skill focus in Seduction, and I just rolled a 17. Are we doing it yet?
Second time I saw freddy vs. jason the lower part of the theatre broke into a fight.
There were over twenty people fighting. If it was the first time I saw the movie I would have jumped on top of the entire pile for mucking up the movie.
They ended up stopping the movie with cops arresting people. They restarted it missing a few minutes. I was steamed.
Gender: Female Location: When in Doubt, Go to the Library.
Long ago, I saw the Hunchback of Notre Dame [Disney Version] in theatres. I remember it being really, really uncomfortable, because my family went with another family and all the adults were like - wow, this is a Disney Movie?
Anyway.
__________________
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
I went to see Jackson's "King Kong" a second time, and when in the theater, there's an immediate announcement that they will not play the movie.
Waste of time that was.
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Sep 11th, 2009 04:56 PM
