Kyle: O yeah i have had sex before, just never with another person.
Please post the funniest quote from a film, it can be from good films (road trip, airheads) crap films (van helsing, american pie) or from non comedies (matrix, x-men).
You decide.......Please add a humping banana at the end of each reply like so.........
In "Ransom", the kind-hearted kidnapper asks the kid "Why can't you starve in the desert? Because of all the sand-wiches!"
The victim at the beginning of "Jerry and Tom" tells a few groaners:
A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Kevin?"
Also: a guy walks into a doctor's office with a duck on his head. The doctor says "Can I help you?" and the duck says "Yeah...can you get this guy off my ass?"
He started another joke which he didn't get to finish, but I suspect it was the one that ends "And at these prices, you won't get many more!"
Speaking of unfinished jokes, I've wondered for 20 years what the punchline could be to the one Judd Nelson was telling to himself while crawling through the rafters in "The Breakfast Club". I guess it'll have to be one of life's little mysteries.
That joke from "Boondock Saints" was also told by Harry Belafonte in Robert Altman's "Kansas City", but the punchline is "I'll have a martini."
Also, Myth, I'm surprised you didn't mention Mia Wallace's Fox Force Five joke from PF.
__________________ Evelle: "Balloons! Hey, these blow up into funny shapes 'n' all?"
Grocer: "Well, no...unless round is funny."
Raising Arizona, 1987
Last edited by roundisfunny on May 18th, 2004 at 12:38 AM
Soldier: Permission to speal freely sargent
Bilko: What are we in Russia? yeah go ahead
__________________
"In the year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields at Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom."
Soap:- I'd rather put my money on a 3-Legged rockin' horse. The odds are 100 to 1 for a good reason bacon. IT WONT WIN.
Or Another--------------------------------------------------
Tom:- That is 900 nicker (pounds/ $1440) in any shop your lucky to find one in, and your arguing over £200? What kind of finance did you study? Its a deal, its a steal, sale of the F**king century. In fact....f**k it nick i think ill keep it.
Nick:- Alright, alright keep your allans on.
*Nick pulls out a huge amount of money out of his pockets*
Nick:- Here £100
Tom+Ed:- JESUS CHRIST
Ed:- You could choke a dozen donkies on that. What are you doing when ya not buying stereos nick? finance revolutions?
Nick:- £100 is still £100.
Tom:- Not when the price is £200 and certainly not when youve got Liberias deposite in ya wallet.
I don't know why but every time I watch Office Space I always laugh out loud at this part:
"...turn off your answering machine, and you should be home free."
"That's a really good idea."
"F***in A, man." (said real nonchalantly, that's the best part of it)
Jokes can even be from computer games like GTA3 from chatterbox.
Laslow: Well im not a mastercating cow so i really dont enjoy chewing damp hay, prancing around in leggings, shouting HAI YA.
Reed: Ok this is your final warning laslow dont make me go into my dragon stance.
Laslow: ok caller on line one your on the air.
Caller: .................But then i grew weak and started knocking things down with the broom, what do i do reed?
Reed: Don't worry my child we are all weak..
Laslow: you certainly are....
Reed: SHUT UP YOU CARNIVORE WHY DONT YOU GO AND KNAW ON A BONE LIKE A GORILLA LASLOW, I dont like chicken wings, people of old lived and consisted of a diet of nuts berrys and fruity vegetables.
Laslow: Yes and they started throwing stones at their shadow and died of old age and fear at 24.