As I promised to Vinny, I said I would compile the silly little scenes that seem to burst forth from my mind into one big kind of sitcom thingy. He seems rather optimistic about it.
Most of my threads seem to die, but I’m hopeful about this one, so. Here’s the first one I posted. Too lazy to find Ken being launched.
Kramer: Make like a tree and get outta here.
Dusty: What about you?
Kramer: I need to take a piss.
Dusty: Too much information. Okay.
(Dusty jumps out the window, and Kramer runs into the bathroom and unzips.)
(A massive thud is heard, resulting from someone hurling a tight packed snowball at the window. Caught off guard, Kramer sprays everywhere.)
Kramer: (Runs to the window in a rage, dripping with urine.) YOU ****ING WHACK-BLOWN EXCUSE FOR A PIECE OF HORSESH**!!!!
Ronny: ….hi.
Kramer: Oh. Hi.
Ronny: So….uh, what’s up? Did I scare you?
Kramer: Not much, just was taking a…..a wee-wee.
Ronny: A wee-wee?
Kramer: A wee-wee.
Ronny: (embarrassed) Oooh, cool. Is that…is that what they call it in Aussie land?
Kramer: Yeah.
Ronny: Are you, ah….busy?
Kramer: Well, I’m not really finished yet.
Ronny: Oh. I’ll just…drop by later then.
Kramer: You do that, you do that.
(Meanwhile…)
(Vinny wraps himself in a towel, grabs some clothes from the dresser, and heads for his room, opening the door.)
Irene: (upside down) Hi.
Vinny:
(Vinny shuts the door again, counts to three, and opens it up again.)
Irene: (upside down) Hi.
Vinny: So….what the bloody hell happened here?
Irene: (dripping sarcasm)Well, I appear to have been snagged with an old fashioned sapling noose, and I dunno if I can retain consciousness much longer.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
Vinny: Okay, hold on, let me grab a knife and I’ll cut you down.
Vinny: Shame you weren’t wearing a skirt.
Irene: Vinny, ew!
Vinny: I’m going, I’m going!
(Vinny, in his rush to help, lets his towel drop and churns out the door, butt naked.)
Irene: Oh, for the love of God. There are much better things to do than see your kid brother naked.
(Nearby, Kramer starts laughing hysterically.)
Kramer: HAHAHAHAHA! I CAN MAKE MY NECK FART! HAHAHAHA!
(squeaky flatulence sounds follow.)
Irene: Dear Heavenly Jesus: you are mean.
(Vinny comes back, thankfully with a pair of jeans on, and starts sawing away at the noose.)
Vinny: What were you doing in my room?
Irene: I needed some magazines to cut up for my trifold. Project.
Vinny: Well, would it have killed you to knock first?
Irene: I didn’t know where you were, and besides I got hung up like an animal anyways.
(Irene hits the floor with a thud.)
Irene: (Eyes watering furiously)Would it have killed you to put a few pillows under me and give me a bit of warning?
Vinny: Yes.
Vinny: Anyways, here are your magazines, I’d like them back after.
Irene: I’ll forget this happened.
Vinny: Thanks.
Irene: Where are the People magazines mom told you to recycle?
Vinny: Oh, I got bored and had a looksie through them.
Vinny: Paris Hilton got into another car accident.
(Both laugh raucously for several minutes.)
(Massive flatulence sound erupts from the bathroom, followed by raucous laughter from Kramer.)
Irene.
Irene: Creep.
Vinny: He taped pictures of Whoopi Goldberg all over my room the other day. So who the hell did this to you?
Irene: Considering that Damian and Dustin were the only ones who tried to prevent me from stepping into it, I’d say it was them trying to hit you. Why though?
Vinny: (subtly shifts the Playboys under his bed) Absolutelyballygory no idea.
Irene: Okay. Well, I’m out. Don’t worry about the two, I’ll tell daddy against them.
(two hours later)
Ken: KRAMER! DUSTIN! GET YOUR WEASELY ARSES DOWN HERE NOW!
(Dustin and Damian cringes, attempting to hide out in their room.)
Dustin: Sorry dad! We’re darning each other’s socks!
Damian: Maybe some other time, big guy!
(Ken fires a 12-gauge shotgun blast through the door, embedding the two in a shower of flying splinters.)
KMC Community Forums
KMC: Family Sitcom
Hi.
I’ll just…drop by later then.
So….what the bloody hell happened here?
Mar 3rd, 2007 01:54 AM
