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AWE- the Tweaked version
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katelovespirate
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AWE- the Tweaked version

This thread is inspired by Willofthewisp's awesome rendition of a scene we all know needed to be in AWE... the Jack/Liz closure scene.

I think we all had our problems with AWE, so here is a place to fix them. Tweak scenes, add scenes, or change character's endings as needed. That way, when we all watch the dvd, we can keep in mind what ought to have happened, or scenes that ought to have been included.




So.... to start out, for those who haven't read it, here is Willo's J/L scene, meant to happen right after Elizabeth is voted Pirate King at shipwreck cove.

(to be viewed right after the "at dawn we're at war" line)

(The room begins to clear out. The short pirate lord looks up at Elizabeth and has to take a step back to get a clear view of her. She looks down at him and wears a confident expression, already knowing she is being judged as king. The short pirate lord nods gruffly and signals for his two bodyguards to follow him out.)

Barbossa: A sign of the apocalypse, I'm sure.

Elizabeth: I didn't hear you doing anything to help the situation. At any rate, you'll be coming with me to Beckett.

Gibbs: (reacts in surprise) Our paths best not be crossed with that vile sot until we're all in our ships.

Elizabeth: He has something we want. (turns to Jack. They don't say anything. Barbossa looks back at Jack, perhaps eyeing his Piece of 8.)

Barbossa: (shaking his head as he starts to leave) a surer sign than a pale horse.

(The rest follow him out into a vast opening of a cave. It leads out to the beach where their ships are anchored. A small stream of water runs down the cave, keeping away from the alcove where the brethren court just met. The water reflects off the rocks and gives the cave an eerie, magical atmosphere. Barbossa and Gibbs exit out to the blinding sand and sun of the beach. Elizabeth lingers, waiting for Jack.)

Elizabeth: Why did you do that?

Jack: Do what?

Elizabeth: Just about everyone in that room has more experience than me.

Jack: And most of them, with the exception of our formerly undead friend, could be talked into or threatened into doing whatever anyone else wanted. This way, we're at war.

Elizabeth: It wouldn't surprise me if they all turned their ships around and left us.

Jack: Pirates may do just that. (keeps watching her out of the corner of his eye) And what does her majesty propose we do about young William's predicament.

(Elizabeth shivers at the mentioning of Will. Whether it is out of concern or avoidance is purposely vague.)

Elizabeth: (looks at the ground, then back up, exhaling) That's going to need some improvising.

Jack: (edging closer) Or, you can shoot the blaggard then and there and put at least some of this all behind us, eh?

(They look at each other, doing nothing about the silence. They are standing very close, almost as close as a moment they both have on their minds.)

(Just as Elizabeth starts to back away, Jack crashes his lips onto hers, his hands around her back, pushing her up against the dark cave. They close their eyes, savoring the moment. For too short a time, they allow themselves to forget everything else and their kiss deepens, their bodies accepting it with much more openness than they are.)

(They finally break apart, floored by what has just happened. Jack allows a slight grin to appear across his face.)

Jack: Had to get even with you.

(They smile and Elizabeth suppresses a laugh)

Jack: No chance in talking the King into taking on the famous Captain Jack Sparrow, is there, love?

Elizabeth: Jack, if things were different...there's Will.

Jack: Yes, yes, the lad doesn't look like much but he tends to grow on one. 'Tis for the best. Wouldn't want to tempt fate thanks to that heart anyway.

Elizabeth: Heart?

(Jack clams up about it. Elizabeth will remember this reference later.)

Jack: Like you said, darling, if things were different. (he pulls her in and they share a far more chaste kiss than their last one, knowing it will be the last)

Elizabeth: That's the kiss of a good man.

Jack: I know, but don't tell anyone. (he looks back into the alcove)

Elizabeth: (starting to head out to the beach) Are you coming?

Jack: Go on, love. I'll be along directly. (wanders into the alcove)


(insert scene between Jack and Teague)



AND.... as a bonus to get you started, here is my REVISED version of "Norrington's End"...

Elizabeth: Come with us, James.

James: Our paths have been intertwined, but never joined... (gives her a smoking hot kiss) Go... I will follow.

Elizabeth: You're lying to me.

James: (glances around nervously, then steps closer to say this in her ear) The Caribbean is descending into madness. Lord Beckett will take over the seven seas if we don't do something...

Elizabeth: I know! Come with us, we'll fight him together.

James: There's another front to fight him on. When we make port, I'll be sailing to England. I have an audience with the King--- and God willing, he will have the sense to put a stop to this madness and restrain his navy. It's what your father advised all along.

Elizabeth: Beckett will never let you make it that far...

James: I'm in his confidence. I won't fail. (glances around again-- Bootstrap is beginning to raise the alarm) Go!

Elizabeth: Will you ever come back?

James: As soon as I am able. (smiles tenderly) Someone has to look after you.

Elizabeth smiles, then turns and slides down the rope. James makes sure she and the others have boarded their ship safely, then cuts the rope and returns to his cabin. Bootstrap and the other guards arrive to find the scene empty and the prisoners gone.

Old Post Nov 21st, 2007 08:15 PM
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savvysparrowluv
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Ooh, I love your "Norrington's End" much better - Hm...I should try reading some Norribeth wink

Old Post Nov 21st, 2007 10:10 PM
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig

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Yay! Norrington lives! What a great idea, Kate.


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Old Post Nov 25th, 2007 04:51 PM
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katelovespirate
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someone want to save Swann? or maybe tweak everyone's ending?

Old Post Nov 26th, 2007 01:58 PM
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lovethemtigers
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Location: Drinking rum with Jack in a dingy

I love your Norrington scene....so much better than what we got! It only reminds me how much I hated this movie......


I can't think of what to do with Gov. Swan.....okay.........


The crew is sailing through dark and dangerous waters. Suddenly Elizabeth sees her father aboard a longboat.......

Elizabeth: "Father,....

Jack: Elizabeth we're not back.
She looks at Jack and realizes what this means. She is distraught. She wants her father to join them. She runs screaming at him and almost climbs overboard, but Will and others grab her. Jack seeing her pain realizes what he must do. Jack, because he is still immortal, jumps into the water, swims over and pulls Gov Swann out of the longboat....Tia and others help Jack and the Gove up onto the Black Pearl.

Tia: Jack Sparrow you live dangerously. What kind of a fool are you to jump into dem haunted waters for dis man?
Jack: Just something that had to be done.
Elizabeth, meanwhile, is kneeling over her father recovering from the excursion. Will is looking at Jack in a strange manner knowing what a risk it was for Jack to jump in those waters. What would possess Jack to do such a thing. Did Jack have a heart? Could it be that he actually cared for Elizabeth?

.....then its quiet aboard the Pearl...everyone is asleep except Jack. He is up steering the ship. A figure approaches him, he doesn't turn to look.
Jack: Miss Swann why are you about?
Liz: I couldn't sleep. Jack, I .....wanted to ...thank you for what you did today, in rescuing my father. Why would you do such a thing.
Jack: My own selfish reasons, luv. The Governor has some information his privvy to that I need to accomplish what I want.
Liz: What possible information could my father have to help you in your selfish deeds, Captain Sparrow.
Jack: (moves closer to lizzy, so close she can feel his breath upon her face, but she stares right into his eyes, too intranced to look away) Don't you worry your pretty little head with such matters, darling. Besides, why would I be sharing any information I may have with a betrayer such as yourself, the future Mrs. Turner? Eh?
Liz: (she can barely breath due to the closeness of Jack, her heart is beating fast - finally she turns away from him) I'm sorry jack. I'm sorry I hurt you, but sometimes a person must do what a person must do to survive and to protect the lives of others.
Jack: Don't get me wrong, as I told you once before, Miss Swann...I admire a person who is willing to do whatever's necessary to accomplish one's own needs. So you see, as I also told you once before Miss Swann....we are peas in a pod, we are very much alike...Pirate and Pirate, consider that Miss Swann as you pine away for you precious dear William. Now go, I've had my fill of you, you bore me......run back to your fiance before it's too late.
Liz: (with a hurt and confused look on her face) Well, for your information, I'm not so sure I am the future Mrs. Turner...I mean I want to be...if Will will still have me. You are a vile and dispicable man, Jack Sparrow, and I am nothing like you, nothing, I swear. (she turns and runs away)
Jack smiles as he watches her run off, but then the smile quickly fades and his face looks pained.


Well, not so good, but I would have liked to have seen something like that to show the tension still between Jack and Lizzy....things wouldn't be as lighthearted as they use to be cuz she did kill the man....it's right after the rescue...so he's still bitter and mad from his time spent in Davy's Locker. The entire time we, the audience, are watching this scene are on the edge of our seats hoping and praying that he'll just grab her by her shoulders and lay and hot, passionate and punishing kiss upon her lips.......


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All my thanks to savvysparrowluv!

Last edited by lovethemtigers on Nov 30th, 2007 at 02:50 PM

Old Post Nov 30th, 2007 02:46 PM
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig

Gender: Female
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I thought it was good, lovethemtigers. It would have taken only minutes to show onscreen and would have given us an answer about where they stood with each other at that moment. T&T need to read these and if they still say their version is better, we start throwing eggs.


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Old Post Nov 30th, 2007 04:14 PM
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katelovespirate
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Lovethemtigers, I really liked it. I never understood why someone didn't save Swann. Tia's enigmatic little quip in the film about his having "moved on" never satisfied me. So this was great. smile

Very reminscent of the Peas in a Pod. There NEEDED to be a scene for Jack and Liz after the rescue. The rest of the film would have flowed so much better, felt so different, if they had just stuck in three seconds of dialogue or even just a LOOK. ya know?

Anyways, well done!!! smile

Old Post Nov 30th, 2007 04:36 PM
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!!tangerines!!
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*applauds enthusiastically* ENCORE!!!


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Old Post Dec 1st, 2007 02:24 AM
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katelovespirate
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Elizabeth: It would never have worked out between us, Jack.

Jack: Keep telling yourself that, darling.

Elizabeth moves towards him like she's going to kiss him. Jack pulls away. Elizabeth looks at him curiously. Jack motions towards the crew with his head.

Jack: I wouldn't want to give the crew any ideas. You understand.

Elizabeth: Of course. I just didn't want to leave YOU with the WRONG idea.

Jack: I read your message loud and clear, darling.

Elizabeth: (steps a little closer) Thank you for saving Will.

Jack: Well, I couldn't very well leave you to play pirate king by your onesy. It's better this way. He got to die for you just like he always wanted, and now you get to take part in a tragic love with your pirate husband just like YOU always wanted. Everyone's dreams have come true.

Elizabeth: And what about you?

Jack: Me, I'm a simple pirate. Don't need much. Some rum, a ship...

Elizabeth: ...freedom. I suppose you got what you wanted after all.

Jack: Well, I wouldn't quite say that, love. (changes his serious look to a grin) Off you go. You have one day, and I expect you to make the most of it.

ELizabeth smiles, they share a look, and then she turns and leaves. Jack follows her with his eyes.

Barbossa: (entering the shot) I will always remember this as the day Jack Sparrow ALMOST--

Jack: (cuts him off) yes I'm sure you will, mate. But in the meantime, hadn't you better be scurrying off to the helm? (snaps his fingers) Captain's orders.

Old Post Dec 3rd, 2007 04:10 AM
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig

Gender: Female
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Let's bring this back! I'm sure we all have more ideas on how AWE could have been improved.


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Old Post Jul 16th, 2008 08:01 PM
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SparrabethRose
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Kate, that was beautiful. :-) I wish it had ended that way. It feels so much more....right, I guess.


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Old Post Jul 17th, 2008 12:13 AM
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig

Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right

Okay, here is something I know we all wanted to be in AWE. What "mark" did Jack leave on Beckett? Anyone know where to find the script for AWE? I can't access youtube right now, so bear with me if I paraphrase.

(To be viewed right after Jack says, "...square my debt with Jones and guarantee my freedom.")

Beckett: So you agree? (smug with his hands behind his back, still creepily close to Jack) I knew you'd see reason. Perhaps if I were to keep you, we could have you back as a privateer.

(Jack laughs)

Beckett: It's not so ridiculous a premise, Jack. You abandoned some property of mine. (steps even closer) It's only fair to compensate me for it.

Jack: They weren't property, mate. (side steps Beckett and starts playing with the...I guess they're chess pieces, but he starts playing with the little Beckett he later steals. He holds it up) Someone less avaricious might say being branded compensated you for your "loss." (Jack avoids eye contact with him and winces just slightly, as if he knows where the conversation will lead)

Beckett: But I lost more than just property, didn't I? (They face each other, Beckett more confrontational, but still smooth)

Jack: (stepping back, trying to make his way to the door) Whatever you may have lost, I was probably back in the next country over doing some pillaging, so I had very little to do with...

Beckett: There is more than one heart invested in all this, Jack. Davy Jones', (pause) and mine.

(Then the guns blow a hole into the ship and provide Jack his much-desired exit)


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2008 02:26 PM
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tee_pirategirl
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WHOAAAAAAA!!! I always suspected Beckett of being less than...erm, straight but all that talk of property does make one wince ever so slightly. Bravo willo. Of all the lovely lovely lovely Sparrabeth scenes and such...THAT scene is what I wanted to be in the movie most. It wouldn't change much anyway...AWE would still be AWE and so it would be quite possible to clear out that little matter of 'property' for the audience...

and I say, the littler ones wouldn't understand anyway.

Your wordplay made me smile. you do T&T better than T&T


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Freedom...

Old Post Aug 1st, 2008 05:54 PM
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