Ok...So I ran into this guy, David who I went to school with, over 20 years ago. We weren't friends but shared a couple of classes together, so we got to talking about careers, each others' families & more or less who we still kept in contact with from high school.
As David still lived in the same suburb as the school we went to, he kept in contact with more guys than I did & was telling me about what so & so did & what they're doing these days...
Suffice to say, the names he rambled off sounded familiar & I was being polite in pretending that I was both curious & interested in their lives today...
So Dave says, "Remember Pete Harris? Poor dude died of a heart attack last month. He was just 38 years old. Most of his friends from school turned up for the funeral...so & so even flew in interstate just to be there...."
I vaguely remembered a Pete Harris & politely gave my condolences, mumbling, "how sad, so young...must've been hard for his family..."
At this point, this is where I thought that story of the funeral ended...so there's like a couple of seconds of awkward silence between us.
Well that awkward moment turned out to be actually a pregnant pause from Dave's part, because he then suddenly blurted out,
"And then you know what??? His mother walked up to the open casket, looked at Pete's body then had a heart attack & died right there!!!"
Man...it hit me like a punch line to a bad joke...I doubled up laughing in hysterics, hand over my face hopelessly trying to apologise for laughing. I was wiping back tears,laughing at myself, at how ridiculous the situation had suddenly become.
I know there's a place in hell for people like me.
Anyone else have an awkward or embarrassing story to tell?
Myself also, I laugh at the absurd. I can't help it. I had a friend who died who was Native American. His daughter was very upset as it was sudden but as we were expressing our feelings on the matter to her another friend blurts out " Oh God, we aren't going to have to burn the body in the back yard, are we?" Half of us couldn't stop laughing while the others didn't understand what was wrong with us.
Re: Re: I'd Face-Palm But My Foot's In My Mouth...
Honestly, this is a true story.
It would be a lame joke if it wasn't.
As I said, we weren't friends at school & 20 years had passed. I guess he didn't know how to react as he never knew me or my sense of humour.
We quickly parted ways with that false promise of catching up soon.
Actually I got 'I'd Face-Palm But My Foot's In My Mouth...' moment, an Asian customer came in and he asked for three of something but I can't remember what. When he said three he said 'tree,' and I went 'You want tree?' And I meant to say 'You want three?' For some reason I said tree and I thought oh shit I've just been racist. He didn't say anything he just said 'Yeah tree.'
I generally try and keep myself incredibly poised in front of anyone I meet. I like to make a good first impression and seem well educated and cultured. I believed I was doing just that with a new acquaintance about two years ago who I was supposed to partner with for a class assignment due several class periods after. I wasn't totally sold on the guy, Jesse's worth and personality but he was nice enough and I figured I might as well be cordial if we had to do a presentation.
When we got up to leave class we left our numbers with each other, and I said 'see you later bro'. Before looking at the paper and realizing that Jesse was actually 'Jessica'. I didn't think she had noticed but shot a quick text to my room-mate Jenna about how I'd mistaken someones gender. Only I texted Jesse/ca. And she responded with an awful '.....'
After a feeble attempt at a lie I apologized profusely and she thanked me for my honesty. We decided to put it behind us and focus on the project.
Later I was chatting with a friend of mine, a FtM trans-boy. I accidentally sent Jessica a message that said " You know, at least FtM seems to be a little easier to adapt to physically. "
Again I apologized, but before I could explain it was pretty clear that we wouldn't be speaking anymore.
Another funny tale of misunderstanding with an Asian...
I was with a friend who was getting an old fashioned pirate ship tattooed on his arm.
The tattooist happened to be from Japan who was guest-spotting at the studio & only had a broken grasp of the English language.
Anyway about an hour into the tattoo, my friend wanted a break & asked the tattooist if the outline was finsished.
The Japanese tattooist mistook "outline" for "airplane". He slammed his machine down with a shocked look on his face & uttered,"B-but you asked for sailing ship!"
Lesson learned: use only voice recognition on your android based smartphone to send your text messages. That way, it only sends to the name you say rather than a typo/autofill.
Also, how the hell do you know so many LBGT people in just one class? That's bad luck. You're ****ed no matter what you say at that point.
Gender: Female Location: When in Doubt, Go to the Library.
I have these little moments frequently, but they're minor infractions.
Like saying "You too!" to the snack vendors at the movies when they tell me to enjoy the show.
Or mixing two words, like wanting to say "thanks!" but mid word wanting to say "thank you!" and so ending up saying "thanks you!" or "thank!"
Or singing at the top of my lungs along with my iPod, with my earbuds in and it's something random like, "she works hard for her money so you better treat her right!!" and then realizing that I live in a flat and have close neighbors.
I think the mini-events keep me from making me a giant ass of myself. I think I'd rather have it this way...
And with people who have a thick Asian accent, like at my customary Chinese take-out place, I just order the same thing again and again. They know my name and my order, and that I want it for take out. No conversation needed. I just say "Hi there!" and they say "Hello again!" [I think] and then I pay and then I wait with a book.
__________________
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
Last edited by siriuswriter on Dec 19th, 2011 at 01:54 AM
KMC Community Forums
Dec 14th, 2011 09:05 AM
