I'm sorry Kitoky,I wasn't on the Spoof Threads very much (I may have posted on them I don't remember) because there are so many pages.I'm sorry for posting pictures that were already there....
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I forgot who made this sig,but thank you so much!~Tell me if you made the sig~
Gender: Female Location: Middle-Earth coffee house which is
LOTR therapy session
a friend of mine and I created a really funny LOTR character therapy session if you would like me to send it to you email me at [email protected]!! Trust me it's really hysterical.If no one emails me i will post it on here
12 century darkred
__________________ From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring, Renewed shall be blade that was broken , the crownless again shall be king-Arwen (ROTK)
__________________ From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring, Renewed shall be blade that was broken , the crownless again shall be king-Arwen (ROTK)
Gender: Female Location: Middle-Earth coffee house which is
LOTR Group therapy session one STory!!!
LOTR group therapy session one
created by Mya Dates and Becky Grubaugh(me)
We used some quotes from the Secret Diaries series and we are here to give them credit!!!! oh and the J.R.R. Tolkien for his characters!!!
on with the story
All the characters from LOTR are here in group therapy
*in walks Dr.Phil*
Dr.Phil: Well hello all. I am Dr.Phil. I am here to help you
Merry: Aragorn is a pervy hobbit-fancier!!!!
Aragorn: What?!? *looks at Treebeard* You said you wouldn't tell!
Treebeard: I didn't!
Dr.Phil: O.O...everyone calm down! Now Aragorn, what is a "pervy hobbit-fancier"?
Gandalf: It's when someone wants to snog a hobbit and can't think about anything else. Sam will KILL you if you try anything
Saruman: Oh like your one to talk!
Gandalf: What the hell do you mean?
Saruman: What's with you and the Balrog?? *Shows Gandy and the Balrog holding hands*
Dr.Phil....*just blinks*
Gandalf: Don't talk about Fabio that way!! And anyways aren't you with that 'tongue' guy?
Saruman: *blushing* His name is Grima Wormtongue. Thank you very much!
Dr.Phil: Alright now, everyone calm down!
Legolas: I don't see why I have to be here! I don't have any problems!
Aragorn: You are constantly doing your nails and checking yourself out!
__________________ From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring, Renewed shall be blade that was broken , the crownless again shall be king-Arwen (ROTK)
Gender: Female Location: Middle-Earth coffee house which is
LOTR story cont...
Legolas: At least I bathe
Aragorn: Who wears the tiara and tights?
*everyone gasps*
Arwen: Daddy?!?
Dr.Phil: What the hell?
Arwen: My daddy always used to wear my dresses and tiaras
Dr.Phil: O.O.....*shakes head*
Treebeard: I've been peed on by Sauron's Nazgul love slaves
Sauron: Hey! IT was Saruman who was supposed to housebreak them!Nazgul#7: Damn Sauron! All he wanted us for was so he could make cheap porn!
Denethor: hey I think it's good porn
*everyone gets quiet and looks at Denethor in disgust*
Dr.Phil: What the hell have I gotten myself into?
Theoden: I think Eomer is a pretty boy!
Eomer: You're just jealous!
Theoden: Of what?
Eomer: The fact that Gandy and me are hotter than you!
Theoden: What? Of that poncy tossing fishnet wearer?!? I highly doubt that!
Gandalf: I do not wear fishnets! *Balrog reaches over and snaps Gandy's fishnets*
Theoden: Ha! Who wield the flame of Arnor now you poncy tosser!!!!!
Gandalf: Shut up!
*Theoden sticks his tongue out while Gandalf pouts*
Dr.Phil: You all should go out on Jerry Springer! Are you all smoking something???
All: PIPEWEED!!!!
Dr.Phil: Pipeweed?!?
Pippin: Old Toby of the Shire!
Dr.Phil: Where the hell are you all from?
Eowyn, Theoden, Eomer: Rohan
Eowyn: Actually, since I married Faramir, I now live in Gondor
Aragorn: Am king of Gondor now, go me!!!!
Faramir: *rolls eyes* Shut up you bloody git!!!! Nobody cares!!!
Aragorn: Elrond cares! Otherwise he wouldn't have let Arwen marry me!
__________________ From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring, Renewed shall be blade that was broken , the crownless again shall be king-Arwen (ROTK)
"In the year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields at Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom."
I don' t know if anyone has posted this before, but here it goes...
The Secret Diary of Gollum
Day One
Popped over to attend Pervy Hobbit Fanciers Anonymous Meeting in Misty Mountains only to discover was booby trap set by Sauron.
Stupid Sauron.
Day Five
Held captive by orcs in Barad-Dur. Have been forced to watch "Flipper" over and over until give in and tell them where Ring is. Damn evil methods of torture refined over millennia. Will not give in. Will remain strong.
Day Six
Orcs have switched to repeat viewings of "The Faculty." Cannot cope. Have told them where Ring is.
Day Eight
Escaped from Mordor. Have made way to Shire. Am v. disappointed that in last few weeks no one has responded to personal ad placed in Shire Weekly. "Toothless, fetid greenish creature ISO blue-eyed curly-headed hobbit. Must enjoy squatting in darkness, jewelry-fondling, and referring to self in third person. No smokers."
Day Ten
Finally caught up with Ringbearer in Rivendell, but cannot get near him as is constantly being half-drowned in bathtub by burly companion type, and have developed fear of water since being forced to watch dolphin movie 300 times.
Ugh. Strawberries. Hate strawberries.
Day Eleven
Attempt to infiltrate Council of Elrond in lawn ornament disguise unsuccessful. Was stashed in storage closet by annoying Glorfindel, where was trapped for hours while Elrond tried on all Arwen's dresses in front of mirror, while muttering something about Legolas not being the prettiest after all. Miss days of yore, when men were men and dwarves were dwarves, and elves wore trousers. Although something to be said for Legolas' boots-and-skirt ensemble.
Day Thirteen
Left Rivendell, following Fellowship. Sent Elrond anonymous letter telling him purple does not suit his complexion. Expect to hear screams of rage all the way to Gap of Rohan.
Day Fifteen
Cannot believe men still using hoary old 'Blow the Horn of Gondor' pickup line. Remember when original plans to have Xylophone of Gondor scrapped by Steward in favor of silly-looking horn. Now know why.
Too bad for Isildur's Heir, who has no Horn of Gondor (and hobbits have expressed no interest in his stubble collection) since he obviously fancies Frodo. Sam will kill him if he tries anything.
Day Thirty
V. cold on top of Caradhras. Everyone wants to carry Frodo up mountain. Nobody wants to carry me up mountain.
Stowed away in Legolas' backpack but excessive nancing was not good for stomach. Have been sick all over elf collection of hair care products. Hope he does not notice.
Day Thirty One
V. Dark in Mines of Moria. Bad for ogling. Have been following sounds of Legolas complaining loudly about state of his backpack and dank air of Moria being bad for his skin. Gandalf stuck gum in his hair while he wasn't looking. Rather like Gandalf. Always has gum.
Day Thirty Three
Met up with Balrog in nattily decorated subterranean bachelor pad. Balrog v. mopey. Still carrying torch for Gandalf. Told him best course of action was to try to talk it out, explain to Gandalf that while they are two extremely different people, with value systems and lifestyles that are in complete opposition to each other's, romance not ruled out. Balrog said this sounded like meaningless New Age claptrap. Told Balrog to get out of Second Age, start living in the now.
Day Thirty Four
Balrog-Gandalf conversation did not go as well as hoped, resulting in gory death of both. Perhaps was not cut out to be matchmaker after all.
Lurked and observed big hobbit cuddlefest on rocks. Nobody ever wants to cuddle me, just because am misshapen and covered in slime, so unfair. Gimli no big looker either but gets mad schnoogles from Boromir anyway.
Day Thirty Six
In Lothlorien. Attempt to lure Indistinguishable Backup Hobbits away from Ringbearer by placing carrots around was foiled when Legolas found carrots and used them to make facial mask. Aragorn told him was embarrassed to be seen with him while face covered in carrot mulch. Legolas complained he is not getting any younger. Aragorn pointed out he wasn't exactly getting any older, either.
Day Thirty Nine
Nobody hitting on me. Cannot cope. Off to stalk Ringbearer in Mordor. Perhaps after bite off his finger and steal Ring, he might not mind having dinner with me. Will just have to figure out how to get around Sam first.
__________________
I am not driven by people’ s praise and I am not slowed down by people’ s criticism.
You only live once. But if you live it right, once is enough. Wrong. We only die once, we live every day!
Make poverty history.
"In the year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields at Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom."
KMC Community Forums
Feb 29th, 2004 06:30 PM
LOTR therapy session
LOTR Group therapy session one STory!!!
o this collection..........
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