quote:

Originally posted by Bozzalev
This was taken from E! Online. Sorry, I can't find a direct link to it, and even if I could, I can't post it because I'm new. I thought this was pretty funny.

Superman Steals X-Man Singer
by Joal Ryan
Jul 19, 2004, 12:35 PM PT

Dear Superman,

I thought we were friends. Or at least professional colleagues with a
healthy respect of each other's powers--and boundaries.

Imagine my shock then when I cracked opened the Hollywood trades
Monday morning here at Xavier Mansion, and read that my director--my
director--had become your director.

"Supe's on with 'X' Man," Variety said. "Singer Gives Superman 'X'-
Ray Vision," the Hollywood Reporter countered.

So, you've stolen Bryan Singer. You know at least when Mystique tries
to stab me in the back she jumps up in the air first and does a
couple of fancy somersaults so I have time to prepare my claws.

But you--you conniving Kryptonian--you pretend you're all about
truth, justice and the American way, when all you're really about is
getting back on the big screen anyway, anyhow.

The papers say Singer inked the deal with Warner Bros. on Friday.
Variety says he'll probably bring screenwriters Michael Dougherty and
Dan Harris along, too.

(Oh, did I say "screenwriters"? I meant "my screenwriters." Mike and
Dan helped write X2--maybe you caught that flick while you were busy
not getting your stupid movie made.)

With Singer committing to you, the Reporter says his planned Logan's
Run remake is now in "a gray zone"--big deal. And Variety says he
probably won't have time for X-Men 3--very, very big deal, dude.

Fox has penciled in May 5, 2006, as the release date for X-Men 3. I
know you're unfamiliar with the concept, but a release date is WHEN A
MOVIE'S SUPPOSED TO COME OUT!

How is my movie supposed to come out without a director? Oh, sure,
Fox'll find somebody else. But somebody else won't be Bryan Singer.
The man who plotted out and directed our first two movies (combined
domestic gross: $372.2 million). The man who recognized a hero with
furry sideburns could too be a leading man. The man who knows who
Keyser Soze is.

In a way, I don't know why I'm getting all worked up.

So, Bryan's hooking up with you. So, he claims his "interest in [you]
dates back many, many years." So, he professes to love the original
Richard Donner Superman movie. So, he says, "it is time for [you] to
fly again."

So, what?

Superman, you are like the messed-up hot chick who can't keep a guy.

Sure, Bryan's enamored with you--now. At one time, so was McG. So was
Brett Ratner. So was Tim Burton. Even Michael Bay was rumored to have
given you a look.

Got quite a collection of ex-suitors there, don't you? (Say, do you
keep their pictures on a wall in the Fortress of Solitude--maybe next
to your Lois Lane shrine?--you nutball stalker.)

Oh, I know, poor Kal-Hell, it's not your fault. It's Warners'. It was
the studio that pulled the plug on Burton. It was the studio that
wouldn't okay Ratner's choice to play you (then soap star Matthew
Bomer). And it was the studio that insisted on shooting in Australia
when McG wanted to shoot in New York.

Boo-hoo. Somebody get me a Kleenex.

But what I'll really be bawling about is how people fall for your woe-
is-me, I'm-a-cursed-superhero act.

I don't care if BatBale gets more press. I don't care if Halle
Berry's Catwoman getup gets more downloads. I don't care if you don't
have a locked-in producer, a locked-in star or a locked-in
screenplay. We should all be cursed with a $200 million budget and a
road-tested comic-book director.

I hear Warners is still going to try to get your tired buns of steel
off the ground for a shoot late this year. Might want to renew your
Crunch membership, friend. By my tally, you haven't been out of the
Barcalounger in 17 years.

Gee, I realize now this letter may be sounding a tad bitter. Forgive
me. I was going for really, really bitter.

Give my regards to Bryan. If you ever actually meet him.

[Expletive deleted] you,

Wolverine

P.S.: Superman III sucked.

P.P.S.: Superman IV sucked worse

quote:

Originally posted by V@LL3jOk!D707
bryan singer sucks. this letter actually gave me an idea. we should write a letter to bryan's people saying how much he sucks and he should still direct x3.

quote:

Originally posted by V@LL3jOk!D707
bryan singer sucks. this letter actually gave me an idea. we should write a letter to bryan's people saying how much he sucks and he should still direct x3.