 |
PsychoFreeak
Senior Member
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
4given  |
Oct 24th, 2004 03:32 AM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
 Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
Al;l good then now on with....wateva we were doing
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Oct 25th, 2004 09:41 AM |
|
|
| |
|
PsychoFreeak
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
|
|
Oct 30th, 2004 02:10 AM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
Day 1
V. angry. Horrible crew committed mutiny and marooned me on nasty little island, no rum or treasure. Am developing pout. Barbossa tricked me into giving up the bearings for the overly savvy cursed treasure, though was most obviously drunk at time. Must find way off island.
Rum count: 0 (need rope, am thinking of hanging self)
Kohl status: All runny from being thrown off ship, don't feel very sexy.
Day 2
Getting slightly hungry, and disoriented from lack of rum. Bird attacked me, but I couldn't work out how to fire pistol. Hungry. Tried drinking seawater, remembered why I never had before. Slept.
Rum count: 0 (no rope, nowhere near hairy enough to make my own)
Kohl status: I think I left it on the ship…
Day 3
Ship appeared today. Turns out rum has been on island all this time, feel v. stupid but also v. happy. Said would perform Midsummer Night's Dream all on my own if rum runners would take me off island. Can't remember the fifth act, this could go v. bad.
Rum count: 27 (swagger has returned)
Kohl status: None at all, would like to think I still look sexy anyway.
Day 4
Don't remember last night. Think I made a mean Bottom though. On a ship again, all is good. Now all I have to do is get that ship of mine back. Am thinking of lying about how I got off island, something to do with hair would be good.
Rum count: 16
Kohl status: Has been reapplied, but it's actually eyeliner, need to find real kohl soon.
Day 402
Arrived in Port Royal (silly name). Hoping Anamaria didn't notice her missing boat, got distracted as two seagulls got it on, so boat sunk. Stole guys money when he thought I was being nice. I love me! Found nifty boat, but two obviously in love guards pointed guns at me, felt v. hurt. Ridiculously sexy girl fell in water, dived in to take off all her clothes, as you do. Poncy man called Norrington didn't think it was a good idea (am certain he is a eunuch, either that or he has large object up rear end). Told a man named after a shaver to clap me in irons, found it quite funny. Wanted to finish off job with undressing girl so tried to take her with me, people thought I was trying to kill her, as if! Decided to play on nifty swingy things, but Norrington thought that was a bad idea too, and made guards start shooting at me. Ran away. Poked donkey with red-hot poker, always wanted to do that. Little boy started attacking me with sword, when all I wanted was to find nearest bottle of rum. Am certain little boy is a eunuch. Knocked unconscious by a bottle of alcohol (not the first time), woke up in prison cell, not a very spiffy day.
Rum count: only 4
Kohl status: Slightly runny, but still v. sexy.
Day 402/403
Rudely awoken at unearthly hours by Barbossa's thumping. Think he made a point of not rescuing me. But heehee, he and the mutinous crew are cursed, felt rather happy.
Rum count: Remains of the daily intake wearing off…
Kohl status: Smudged a bit, but still sexy!
Day 403
Little boy visited me today. Turns out he ain't gay, was v. surprised. Also the son of old pirate friend, Will Turner; same name and all. Think people are lacking in the creativity of names these days, mine is much more unusual. Turns out he fancies sexy girl (decided not to tell him I undressed her), and she's been kidnapped. Wasn't going to go with him even when he said he could free me, but he is my old mate's son. Damn pity for relations of friends. Used upturned dingy boat to get to nice big ship, am more than sure Will was checking my arse out. He also made a fool of himself when we commandeered the nice big ship. Now wish didn't feel pity. Got faster nifty ship, the Interceptor, which was the one I failed to steal last time. Jack Sparrow doesn't fail at things, must make up a new story. Got back for pity when made Will do all the work, but nearly sailed into a cliff. Will asked why I wore eyeliner, got v. annoyed so hit him with the boom. Normally people don't hang on when I do that. The little boy may be an annoying eunuch, but he's kinda feisty.
Rum count: 14
Kohl status: Makes me look sexy and is NOT eyeliner.
Day 407
Arrived in Tortuga; niftiest, savviest, place ever. Found Gibbs sleeping with pigs, asked how his wife was and found out he was still angry about the time I got him married to a pig when we were drunk, turns out you can't divorce a pig. Kicked Will for laughing when he found out it was a boar. Quite liked kicking him, might do so again. Nearly killed Gibbs by making him choke to death when said the maid he'd flirted with was actually a eunuch. He didn't like the fact that I was going after Barbossa either, but said he'd get me a crew anyway.
Rum count: 34 (Shllighty dwunk)
Kohl status: Thick 'n' shexy.
Day 408
Very un-savvy hangover. Will tried to give me a cure but smelt rather suspicious, a bit like the pigs Gibbs sleeps with. Don't think the eunuch likes me. Makes me v. upset. Found an almost equally suspicious banana on way to dock, tried to give it to Will to make up for his loss but it made him hate me more. Now hold onto suspicious banana as might find use for it later. Turns out Anamaria was angry about me stealing her boat, her slap brought back treasured memories but hurt a lot. Think it made us both look very sexy. Got new crew, the little mate is the niftiest, quite want to cuddle him. Storm appeared later on, I get great thrills from storms (but I don't tell anyone). Lied to Gibbs, saying we were catching up, fat chance!
Rum count: only 7, get enough of a high from storms.
Kohl status: Streaming down my face due to storm, not v. sexy. But wet!
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Oct 30th, 2004 02:49 AM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
Day 409
At Isle de Muerta. So funky at steering that I got a chance to reapply my kohl with my compass that secretly doubles as a mirror. In little dingy boat with Will, thought it was quite cosy. But then he goes and asks if I'm gay, so I push him out of boat. Realize that he probably asked because he fancies me, now feel v. stupid. Was fun pushing him in water though, just when he was gawping at the gold and everything. Go me! Turns out he looks quite nice wet. Found the sexy girl, discovered that with more layers, she isn't all that sexy. Had my plan all worked out so I would get my beautiful ship back, but then Will hit me over head with oar. Woke up and the blasted eunuch had taken the not-so sexy girl away. Barbossa made a big point of kidnapping me, but he wasn't really. On a side note, Barbossa looks just as ugly and single as he was 10 years ago and not cursed. Got my own back at him when I ate one of his apples. He threw me in the brig where my precious baby has leaked, I gave her a hug as best I could but discovered arms weren't quite big enough. As if it weren't bad enough that Will hit me over the head and ruined my plan, he then started blowing my ship apart. Managed to escape brig though and decided to kick Will for what he had done, but he hid from me. Then Barbossa's monkey stole the Aztec gold which was my last plan to get the Black Pearl back, so I chased him but ended up in rather compromising posture on pole in front of Barbossa who gave me a rather perverted grin. Couldn't help but remember the time I thought the mast was a sexy woman, I think Barbossa enjoyed that a bit too much and was reminded of it too. Crew on the Interceptor got kidnapped along with me and not-so sexy girl. Stupid Will got blown to smithereens, or so I hoped…thought. Turns out he survived, but then forgot to ask Barbossa for me to have my ship back, stupid eunuch. We went to that v. un-savvy spit of land for me and the not-so sexy girl to walk the plank, not before Barbossa gave me a little cuddle. Whatever I'm wearing, I'm getting rid of it. Turns out the not-so sexy girl has a name. Elizabeth; who is back to nothing but her under-garments, I believe I can change this. Find rum store and discover Elizabeth doesn't like me. This isn't fair, the only person who I've gotten a cuddle from recently is Barbossa and that was disturbing. Got half a cuddle sort of thing later; that was nice. Have a strong feeling that today was extremely long.
Rum count: 21
Kohl status: slightly disappearing
Day 410
The strumpet! The eunuch loving strumpet! The rum! It's gone! She burnt all the rum, it's sacrilege! Forced myself not to kill her, and gave the rum a proper funeral. Then the navy come along proving her right, I don't like her anymore. One more chance to get my ship back. Think Norrington thinks I'm gay as well, but he is clear homophobe. Am rid of the Rum-burner for now. Go to cave and make deal with Barbossa, quite sure he fancies me now. Is very disturbing, will have to kill him later. Will thinks I betrayed him, seriously not getting a hug from anyone now…as long as I can avoid Barbossa. Gave Will sword to prove I still like him, then he goes and thrusts it in the icky undead pirates. Barbossa came onto me, so had to defend myself with sword. Then he got angry and stabbed me, but I was clever and had picked up some of the nifty Aztec gold so I could be immortal. Go me! Rum-burner turned up and saved Will who then broke the curse and I quickly shoot Barbossa. He dies. Will forced me to rid myself of the curse, think he might actually care for me. Have discovered my crew have stolen the Black Pearl and I'm going to be hanged. And I haven't even got a real hug! Thought I was very near to getting one from Will.
Rum count: 0 (can't even drown my sorrows)
Kohl status: sexy, but suddenly doesn't feel so important
Day 417
The day that I'm scheduled to be hung. Stupid sentence person didn't even call me 'Captain' Jack Sparrow, made me v. upset. V. nearly hung, but Will threw sword for me to stand on. He obviously thought it was much easier than it was, either that or there's an actual advantage to being a eunuch. Got cut down and then me and Will did a very savvy escape attempt, but were stopped by guards and the feather in Will's hat began to attack me. Will declared his undying love for me in a cryptic way, saying some rubbish about me being a good man, and so did Elizabeth. I really thought they were going to hug me, was v. disappointed when they didn't. Said my goodbyes but didn't hug anyone because I'm the one who gets the hugs, not the other way round. Then fell over the cliff backwards into the sea, you couldn't believe how relieved I was when the Black Pearl appeared. Apparently I was meant to notice Cotton's stupid little parrot. Am now the Captain of the Black Pearl again, all is good. Even got a half-hug from Anamaria, was v. special. Might get a real one later if I'm good. So coming back to get hugs from Will and Elizabeth, but first must do what I do best.
Rum count: 15
Kohl status: perfectly sexy…can't understand why I didn't get any hugs.
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Oct 30th, 2004 02:50 AM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
Day 1
Took spiffy sword I made to Governor Swann for Norrington, was v. miffed when he thought my drunken guardian made it. As if! Elizabeth appeared and said she'd had a dream about me last night. I had one about her, but you don't catch me going on about it, probably because she didn't have to change her bed sheets this morning. Did make me feel rather special that she did, but then it turned out it was about the day we met, which was just boring. Elizabeth still v. sexy. After dropping off sword, purchased some dodgy parchments for my guardian and headed back to blacksmiths. Found pirate there, decided to practice some sword skills on him, so made something up about him threatening Elizabeth, it's always how my dreams go. Pirate v. curious as he wore eye-liner and walked like a drunken poof. Then he called me a eunuch which got me v. angry. If I was a eunuch, then would I have to take my sheets to the laundry ladies so often? Horrible pirate cheated and covered me with chocolate powder, was v. certain he was going to lick it off me before drunken idiot guardian hit him over the head with a bottle. Miffed for the second time that day. I'm still a virgin for God's sake!
Marital update: Still hopelessly single and virgin.
Swords made: 7
Day 1/2
Was getting all sweaty and sexy making new sword; when for no reason decided to look out the window and became sure something bad was going to happen. Cannons went off and pirates started attacking. Decided to be heroic and kill them all. Didn't do too bad, but got distracted by Elizabeth running by in nothing but her night clothes. Was v. sexy. Got hit over head, felt v. stupid.
Marital update: As before, but all the more pathetic.
Swords made: 7 ½
Day 2
Woke up with hens all over me, unfortunately I don't mean women. Was the closest I have been to sexual relationships, but decided it wasn't a very good way to lose my virginity. Tried to redeem myself by being heroic and ordering Norrinton to find her. Whilst waving my arms around, I accidentally threw my axe on the table. Felt v. stupid. Was quite funny when Norrington couldn't get it out again, though. A guard mentioned Jack Sparrow, the chocolate powder pirate from yesterday, so I decided to go pay him a visit. Was working way up to getting Jack to lick chocolate powder off me, so asked about the Black Pearl. Saw his many gold teeth and reconsidered. Really should stop with many fantasies as most are v. icky. Decided he could help me get Elizabeth back because without me saving her life, I'm doomed to remain virgin forever. Tried to be clever by talking about double barrel hinges but he gave me the same look as when he asked me if I was a eunuch. Think he helped me because he liked my name, could be wrong. Used upturned boat to get to the Dauntless, still don't understand how that works. Got foot stuck in stupid lobster cage, on plus side, noticed Jack has v. nice bottom. Tried my hand at being all piratey but everyone laughed at me, stole the Interceptor from them which stopped their laughing. (Actually Jack pointing his pistol at Gillette did, but I like to think I did something special to). When on Interceptor, Jack made me do many annoying little tasks. When it came to licking the deck clean and eating all the flour to see if there were any weevils in it, I realized he was probably doing it on purpose. Was too full of flour to do anything about it, but still managed to ask the question I'd been meaning to ask Jack ever since I met him. Only he took it very badly and hit me with the boom of the ship. I mean I was only curious as to why he wore eyeliner. Think I'll have to wait a while before I ask if he's gay. Turns out my daddy was a pirate, realized I should have figured when he gave me the piece of gold with a skull on it. Still miffed.
Marital Status: Single, but considering Jack if I can't get Elizabeth
Swords made: 2 ½
Day 6
Arrived in Tortuga; ickiest, pirateiest, debauchery of a poop-hole ever. Jack took me to fat man who sleeps with pigs. Laughed when found out he was married to a boar, but got kicked by Jack. Don't think he likes me. All I want is to lose my virginity. Went to v. icky pub, Jack told me to keep a sharp eye, but made a sharp toothpick instead. Ugly drunk woman collapsed on me, nearly cried when realized it was the most interaction I've had with women my entire life.
Marital status: I just don't want to talk about it right now, ok?
Swords made: Extra pointy toothpick.
Day 7
Jack was complaining of hangover so went to where Gibbs had been sleeping and picked up load of stinky muck, tried to tell him it was a cure but he didn't believe me. It was a shame because I really wanted to get him back after discovering a weevil leg caught between my teeth. Then he tried to give me a banana, but I think bananas are icky so said no. Got v. confused when he said it wasn't for eating. Might hide in his wardrobe later and find out what he meant by it. Picked up crazy crew with midget man, talking parrot, and slapping woman included. Thought Jack was having me on again. There was a storm later and got soaked through. So did Jack and noticed how nice he looks with clothes clinging and going see-through, also noticed he had put the banana from earlier in his trouser pocket. Got slight fantasy but decided the chocolate powder one was better.
Marital status: Seriously thinking of forgetting about Elizabeth, have determined Jack is much sexier.
Swords made: Snapped the toothpick.
Day 8
Discovered purpose for banana at early hours in morning after long stake out (Jack had been in the storm for v. long time), was v. horrified. Elizabeth wouldn't do something like that, think I might prefer her. Reached Isle de Muerta where Gibbs told me about the mutiny against Jack but don't believe he used human hair for rope, I looked carefully in the storm and there was no hair. Went to shore in dingy with Jack, was quite cosy. Thought seeing as Elizabeth could be dead, I should try and get over the banana fiasco. Asked Jack if he was gay, but he threw me off the dingy. Think that might have been a no. Found Elizabeth but realized Jack just wanted his ship back, and then he would leave me forever. Deductively hit him over head with oar and saved Elizabeth. She is still v. sexy. Forgot about Jack and when Gibbs asked about him I made some rubbish up about him falling behind. Felt a bit mean though. Shared sexy moment with Elizabeth below deck, v. nearly kissed her when she started making me stroke her breast. Didn't complain. Then she gave me pirate gold daddy gave me, she obviously didn't realize I didn't care about the damn tacky jewellery and preferred to go lower. Got annoyed and slammed gold on table, she ran away before I could slam her on the table too. Why me!? Were caught up by Black Pearl, deciding I wanted some excitement, I said we should attack them. Realized that was v. bad idea. Big battle thingy. Elizabeth flashed at me though, that was good. Then saw Jack on other ship and decided to hide in case he came to get me for hitting him. Next thing I know the place is flooding and I can't get out. Held breath for impossible amount of time and made impossible escape. Hopped onto Black Pearl and demanded Elizabeth's release among other things that Jack helped me with. Think it went well. But then they decided to maroon Jack and Elizabeth which made me v. angry as I knew Jack would try to get it on with Elizabeth. Am now in brig. Not v. nice down here, no one to fantasize about.
Marital status: Doomed as Jack and Elizabeth so obviously going to get it on.
Swords made: None
Day 9
Taken back to Isle de Muerta. Lost count of how many pirates touched me in unwanted areas. Especially Barbossa. Nearly killed before Jack appears to save me. Was bitter about fact that he spent night with Elizabeth. He did give me a nice sword though, and it was v. fun driving it through undead pirates. Can't remember why but was in danger, then saved by Elizabeth. Didn't really care about the whole Jack thing just then. Turns out Jack was cheating on me and turned undead too. However in retrospect, it was only so he could kill Barbossa. After having fun blowing up pirates, decided it was time to lift the curse. Jack did this whole sexy shooting Barbossa thing. I did a sexy dropping the tacky gold into the tacky treasure chest thing. Discovered Elizabeth is to marry Norrington. I barfed when no one was looking. Thought I was doomed to be with Jack, but turns out Norrington is taking him away from me too. Evil git.
Marital status: Bloody gone
Swords made: Curtain rail made good undead pirate skewer.
Day 16
Norrington so not stealing both Elizabeth and Jack from me. Put best hat and cloak on. Fluffed up feather, got sword. Announced my undying love for Elizabeth in front of Norrington. Looked like he was going to blow so quickly made way through morbid crowds to escape him. Saw Jack and thought would be best if I killed him and not Norrington. Missed terribly. Decided to save him after all so fought executioner but tripped off platform, thankfully looked like a spiffy flip. Nearly escaped with Jack but got caught by many guards. Tried to get out of it by making some rubbish up about Jack being a good man, Elizabeth agreed. Am now certain something happened when the two of them were marooned. Jack made a spiffy escape on the Black Pearl, thought it made him look v. sexy. Also… HE LIKED MY HAT!!! Finally got to snog Elizabeth and amazingly turns out she loves me too, what luck! Norrington went off to sulk. Rather upset that Jack's gone, he was nifty. Hope he comes back one day…
Marital status: IN THERE!!
Swords made: 6, plus found new use for a noose. (hehe, that rhymes)
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Oct 31st, 2004 05:57 AM |
|
|
| |
|
PsychoFreeak
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
 .....u no i can't b bothered reading all that  |
|
Nov 5th, 2004 09:46 AM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
Goh but its funny
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Nov 5th, 2004 09:54 AM |
|
|
| |
|
Orlando´s Angel
~Dead man tell no lies~
 Gender: Female
Location: in the black pearl ~!~! |
hey, whats whit all that story?
__________________
Barbossa: "Thank you Jack."
Jack: "Why, you're welcome."
Barbossa: "Not you, we named the monkey Jack." 
|
|
Nov 5th, 2004 07:32 PM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
Dunno 
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Nov 5th, 2004 11:03 PM |
|
|
| |
|
Orlando´s Angel
~Dead man tell no lies~
Gender: Female
Location: in the black pearl ~!~! |
but . . . but . . . . you put it ? ? ?
__________________
Barbossa: "Thank you Jack."
Jack: "Why, you're welcome."
Barbossa: "Not you, we named the monkey Jack."
|
|
Nov 6th, 2004 04:22 AM |
|
|
| |
|
PsychoFreeak
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
yeah...she did...and ur saying?...
|
|
Nov 7th, 2004 08:23 AM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
She is saying Im mad 
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Nov 8th, 2004 06:17 AM |
|
|
| |
|
Orlando´s Angel
~Dead man tell no lies~
Gender: Female
Location: in the black pearl ~!~! |
NO ! ! ! !
Well only a little . . .
__________________
Barbossa: "Thank you Jack."
Jack: "Why, you're welcome."
Barbossa: "Not you, we named the monkey Jack."
|
|
Nov 8th, 2004 06:27 AM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Nov 8th, 2004 06:29 AM |
|
|
| |
|
Orlando´s Angel
~Dead man tell no lies~
Gender: Female
Location: in the black pearl ~!~! |
*lol* mad like the rest of all *lol*
__________________
Barbossa: "Thank you Jack."
Jack: "Why, you're welcome."
Barbossa: "Not you, we named the monkey Jack."
|
|
Nov 8th, 2004 06:39 AM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
Yup.we all a lil mad sometimes
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Nov 8th, 2004 06:44 AM |
|
|
| |
|
Orlando´s Angel
~Dead man tell no lies~
Gender: Female
Location: in the black pearl ~!~! |
well, im mad all the times LOL *round around like mad*
__________________
Barbossa: "Thank you Jack."
Jack: "Why, you're welcome."
Barbossa: "Not you, we named the monkey Jack."
|
|
Nov 9th, 2004 05:37 AM |
|
|
| |
|
«§hõnknêss»
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: IN MY BRAIN |
I love being mad 
__________________
[SPOILER - highlight to read]: You see, when we left Jack, marooned on the ship with a cuffed wrist and a hungry kraken, we forgot one very important thing mate-he's Captain Jack Sparrow... savvy?
|
|
Nov 10th, 2004 01:34 AM |
|
|
| |
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
Text-only version |
|
|
KMC Community Forums
actually, yeah, i was...sorry! 
