I'm not saying I would want my money back.
I love cheap horror movies.
What's the point of a horror movie if not to make you laugh?
So, it did its job.
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I have no speech, no name. I live in the action of death, blood cry and the penetrating wound. I am destruction. Absolute and alone.
I don't know that I have laughed this hard at a "Horror" movie in my life.
The only thing firghtening about this piece of shitake is how rude some people can be on the telephone! I mean, if you're going to belch, have the common ****ing courtesy to take the reciever away from your mouth.
Oh yeah, I'm going as the croaking, ceiling climbing hairpiece for Halloween. Steal my idea, and it's your ass.
This will more than likely get merged with the other "The Grudge" thread, which is totally devoid of reviews, or competence for that matter. Anyway, here it goes.
"The Grudge"
The promotional website for this film reads; "doyouhaveagrudge.com". The answer? Yes. My grudge lies with America, and their penchant for dumbing down, and subsequently ruining Japanese horror movies that garner a strong Asian following, and for good reason. "The Grudge" playing the latest helpless victim in the clutches of an evil American cinematic rehash empire.
Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as Karen Davis, who plays substitute caretaker for the recently deceased Yoko (Yoko Maki). Buffy has a few run in's with some Asian spectres. Namely a young boy, Toshio, whom she finds bound in a closet. After learning the nature of the inhabitants early demise, and watching her clientele following suit, Karen learns that the house is indeed "haunted, and anyone who sets foot in it is guaranteed certain death. "The Grudge" goes on to chronicle the tangled web woven by those who had affairs with this begrudged(?) family.
Now, by definition, a grudge is usually a direct, ongoing conflict between two or more people, right? Well, it looks as if Takashi Shimizu, like so many American horror directors, took a page out of "American Horror Movie Scripts for Dummies", and made a "grudge" a convenient instance where anyone who gets in the way of these grappling ghosts, gets their ass handed to them as well.
The movie borrows heavily from "that other Asian-American horror movie" and similar stereotypes, with little dead girls, obscure sound effects, atypical jump scares in place of true terror, and an ending which fell absolutely flat on it's face. If nothing else, this will make for GREAT spoof fodder for Lord Zucker's next masterpiece.
A plodding pace, recycled scare tactics, mindless droning, coupled with dialogue lulls all make "The Grudge" well worth absolutely nothing.
Here's hoping Lion's Gate actually produces something worth while in "Saw".
Last edited by Cory Chaos on Oct 29th, 2004 at 02:57 AM
NO RUNNING TIME!!! WHAT? Yes Oh mighty Cinnemaddiction you are the masterful reviewer...How far above us you are...I'd like to review movies with you...I'm sure we'd be pretty entertaining.
Running time is irrelevant when I mention that the movie was slow and plodding, which would automatically suggest it seemed longer than it was regardless of the 91 minutes I would unknowningly subject myself to.
So it was with Clerks also...Not all movies you need to know the running time on...nor do you even need to mention anything about the running time in Clerks...It's a fairly short movie and feels about the length.
"Running time is irrelevant when I mention that the movie was slow and plodding, which would automatically suggest it seemed longer than it was regardless of the 91 minutes I would unknowningly subject myself to.
Ebert (whether you like him or not) usually is pretty good at following movies. But he said with this that he lost all patients and stopped paying attentionn.
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What was the Grudge?
One of those movies you would have to watch more then once to understand what it was all about. I did find the little kid in there pretty scary at times. To me he was more on a sugar fix after eating a box of Captain Crunch.
I would rate this movie at a 4 better to wait for it to come out on DVD
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Oct 27th, 2004 06:34 PM
