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ash007
Strength and Honour
 Gender: Male Location: United Kingdom |
To lift your day
Ok guys i think this will make you laugh enjoy
A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition to
find the most embarrassing moments in listener's lives. The following are the
final 4 :
4th Place: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided
to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night!'
The silence was deafening, after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing that I heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.
3rd Place :It was the day before my 18th birthday.
I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs.
I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled 'SURPRISE'
My entire family...aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot in a state of shock and Embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
2nd Place: A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checkout chick got on the public address system and boomed out for the entire store to hear 'Price check on lane TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.'
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'TAMPAX' for' THUMBTACKS' in a very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address system:' DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR
THUMB OR THE KIND YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?'
1st place: And the winner is. This one happened at a
major Australian University in October last year in a biology lecture, a
professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A young female, raised her hand and asked, 'If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in the male semen as in sugar?' 'That's correct.' Responded the professor, going on to add some statistical data. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?' After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing.
The poor girl turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without a word walked out of the class, and never returned. However, as she was going out of the door,
The professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question.' IT DOESN'T TASTE SWEET BECAUSE THE TASTE-BUDS FOR SWEETNESS ARE ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE AND NOT IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT.'
I hope you all enjoyed that

__________________
With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.These words were uttered by Judge Aaron Satie -- as awisdom, and warning. The first time any man's freedom is trodden on, we're all damaged.
"One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.-----Sir Winston Churchill
Last edited by ash007 on Mar 22nd, 2004 at 06:33 PM
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Mar 22nd, 2004 06:21 PM |
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Linkalicious
Iran...I Walked...I Jihad
 Gender: Male Location: Huntington Beach, California |
jesus that last one's hilarious!
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Mar 22nd, 2004 06:29 PM |
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Korri
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified Location: |
jebus!
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Mar 22nd, 2004 06:31 PM |
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pixie1
Senior Member
 Gender: Female Location: |
LMFAO
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I've got a pal, she's called Pixie,From Birmingham where they're all trixxy, ((fun))She thinks she can't spell,
I say "What the hell?"Doesn't matter because she's damn sexy!!
By syren 
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Mar 22nd, 2004 06:45 PM |
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rusky
Waiting for da snow
 Gender: Male Location: Wild Wild World |
ROFLMAO 
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Have fun||
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Mar 22nd, 2004 08:29 PM |
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WaDe_N_sPaRrOw
SlYtHeRiN pRiDe
 Gender: Female Location: Beyond the Veil |
__________________

i support 2 teams..
The Yankees and whoever beats the Red Sox...
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Mar 22nd, 2004 08:34 PM |
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SpikeSpiegel
Swimming Bird
 Gender: Male Location: United Kingdom |
Shame it's the end of the day. I should have read them in the morning, would have kept a smile on my face all day long.
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Mar 22nd, 2004 08:42 PM |
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Be@st
Elanor's Husband
 Gender: Male Location: In your mind. |
OMG You have no idea how good I felt after I read this.
__________________
If u look backwards in your life and smile , u have forgot about most of it.
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Mar 22nd, 2004 08:44 PM |
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The Inkeeper
Senior Member
 Gender: Male Location: With You |
LOL but isnt the last one an ongoing urban legend
my olf friend was in universtity...etc etc
i knew someone who.....
my cousins old girlfriend was in college........
^^all beginnings to the same story
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Im Back 
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Mar 22nd, 2004 08:44 PM |
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Eclipse
Dark Eclipse
 Gender: Female Location: Canada |
Too Long to read!
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Watch as I steal the moon from the Sky
Mafia B!tch 2!!!
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Mar 22nd, 2004 08:45 PM |
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ash007
Strength and Honour
 Gender: Male Location: United Kingdom |
have ago its quite funny and you will go about your day Laughing 
__________________
With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.These words were uttered by Judge Aaron Satie -- as awisdom, and warning. The first time any man's freedom is trodden on, we're all damaged.
"One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.-----Sir Winston Churchill
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Mar 22nd, 2004 09:11 PM |
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misha
Senior Member
 Gender: Unspecified Location: |
__________________
misha has myspace
http://www.myspace.com/people_r_people
tell me who you are if you add me 
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Mar 22nd, 2004 09:44 PM |
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MC Mike
Voice of the Voiceless
 Gender: Male Location: Locating |
Very funny. 
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A posse ad esse.
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Mar 22nd, 2004 09:46 PM |
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