KillerMovies - Movies That Matter!

REGISTER HERE TO JOIN IN! - It's easy and it's free!
Home » Community » The Off-Topic Forum » To lift your day

To lift your day
Started by: ash007

Forum Jump:
Post New Thread    Post A Reply
  Last Thread   Next Thread
Author
Thread
ash007
Strength and Honour

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

Smile To lift your day

Ok guys i think this will make you laugh enjoy smile cool smile smile smile


A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition to
find the most embarrassing moments in listener's lives. The following are the

final 4 :
4th Place: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided
to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night!'

The silence was deafening, after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing that I heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.

3rd Place :It was the day before my 18th birthday.

I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs.

I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled 'SURPRISE'

My entire family...aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot in a state of shock and Embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

2nd Place: A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checkout chick got on the public address system and boomed out for the entire store to hear 'Price check on lane TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.'

That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'TAMPAX' for' THUMBTACKS' in a very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address system:' DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR
THUMB OR THE KIND YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?'

1st place: And the winner is. This one happened at a
major Australian University in October last year in a biology lecture, a
professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.

A young female, raised her hand and asked, 'If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in the male semen as in sugar?' 'That's correct.' Responded the professor, going on to add some statistical data. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?' After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing.

The poor girl turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without a word walked out of the class, and never returned. However, as she was going out of the door,

The professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question.' IT DOESN'T TASTE SWEET BECAUSE THE TASTE-BUDS FOR SWEETNESS ARE ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE AND NOT IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT.'


I hope you all enjoyed that




laughing out loud


__________________
With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.These words were uttered by Judge Aaron Satie -- as awisdom, and warning. The first time any man's freedom is trodden on, we're all damaged.

"One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.-----Sir Winston Churchill

Last edited by ash007 on Mar 22nd, 2004 at 06:33 PM

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 06:21 PM
ash007 is currently offline Click here to Send ash007 a Private Message Find more posts by ash007 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Linkalicious
Iran...I Walked...I Jihad

Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, California

jesus that last one's hilarious!


__________________

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 06:29 PM
Linkalicious is currently offline Click here to Send Linkalicious a Private Message Find more posts by Linkalicious Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Korri
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

jebus!

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 06:31 PM
Korri is currently offline Find more posts by Korri Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
pixie1
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location:

LMFAO


__________________

I've got a pal, she's called Pixie,From Birmingham where they're all trixxy, ((fun))She thinks she can't spell,
I say "What the hell?"Doesn't matter because she's damn sexy!!
By syren Happy Dance

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 06:45 PM
pixie1 is currently offline Click here to Send pixie1 a Private Message Find more posts by pixie1 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
rusky
Waiting for da snow

Gender: Male
Location: Wild Wild World

ROFLMAO laughing


__________________


Have fun||

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 08:29 PM
rusky is currently offline Click here to Send rusky a Private Message Find more posts by rusky Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
WaDe_N_sPaRrOw
SlYtHeRiN pRiDe

Gender: Female
Location: Beyond the Veil

laughing out loud


__________________


i support 2 teams..
The Yankees and whoever beats the Red Sox...

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 08:34 PM
WaDe_N_sPaRrOw is currently offline Click here to Send WaDe_N_sPaRrOw a Private Message Find more posts by WaDe_N_sPaRrOw Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
SpikeSpiegel
Swimming Bird

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

laughing out loud Shame it's the end of the day. I should have read them in the morning, would have kept a smile on my face all day long.


__________________


I'm not going there to die. I'm going there to see if I really am alive.
Check my Bio for my stories [Last Updated - 27th July 2008]

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 08:42 PM
SpikeSpiegel is currently offline Click here to Send SpikeSpiegel a Private Message Find more posts by SpikeSpiegel Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Be@st
Elanor's Husband

Gender: Male
Location: In your mind.

OMG You have no idea how good I felt after I read this.


__________________


If u look backwards in your life and smile , u have forgot about most of it.

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 08:44 PM
Be@st is currently offline Click here to Send Be@st a Private Message Find more posts by Be@st Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
The Inkeeper
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: With You

LOL but isnt the last one an ongoing urban legend

my olf friend was in universtity...etc etc

i knew someone who.....


my cousins old girlfriend was in college........


^^all beginnings to the same story


__________________

Im Back happy

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 08:44 PM
The Inkeeper is currently offline Click here to Send The Inkeeper a Private Message Find more posts by The Inkeeper Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Eclipse
Dark Eclipse

Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Too Long to read!


__________________

Korri, LeatherFace12,Citadel,Dregh, Mr.Toga, Storm,loveLinkilicious, Clovie, Chelsea23, ILuvPippin, and Stiill Finding More Names!!!

Watch as I steal the moon from the Sky
Mafia B!tch 2!!!

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 08:45 PM
Eclipse is currently offline Click here to Send Eclipse a Private Message Find more posts by Eclipse Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
ash007
Strength and Honour

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

have ago its quite funny and you will go about your day Laughing smile laughing out loud


__________________
With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.These words were uttered by Judge Aaron Satie -- as awisdom, and warning. The first time any man's freedom is trodden on, we're all damaged.

"One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.-----Sir Winston Churchill

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 09:11 PM
ash007 is currently offline Click here to Send ash007 a Private Message Find more posts by ash007 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
misha
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

smile


__________________
misha has myspace
http://www.myspace.com/people_r_people
tell me who you are if you add me big grin stick out tongue

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 09:44 PM
misha is currently offline Click here to Send misha a Private Message Find more posts by misha Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
MC Mike
Voice of the Voiceless

Gender: Male
Location: Locating

Very funny. laughing out loud


__________________


A posse ad esse.

Old Post Mar 22nd, 2004 09:46 PM
MC Mike is currently offline Click here to Send MC Mike a Private Message Find more posts by MC Mike Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
All times are UTC. The time now is 03:19 AM.
  Last Thread   Next Thread

Home » Community » The Off-Topic Forum » To lift your day

Email this Page
Subscribe to this Thread
   Post New Thread  Post A Reply

Forum Jump:
Search by user:
 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON

Text-only version
 

< - KillerMovies.com - Forum Archive - Forum Rules >


© Copyright 2000-2006, KillerMovies.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by: vBulletin, copyright ©2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.