Gender: Female Location: waiting for the right moment...
"Why You're Gone"
here is my poem that I wrote...
It feels like you've slowly drifted away
Ever since you walked out that door
My heart still aches for you each day
But I know you're coming back no more
Oh! How I miss seeing your face
And the way you used to look at me
You did not leave a trace
Or even say good-bye to me
Now I cannot sit around all day
I really should move on
But I just wish you'd come back today
And tell me why you're gone
I sent that poem to www.poetry.com and they are publishing it in a book
Gender: Female Location: waiting for the right moment...
Okay, I just wrote this recently.. don't really know if it's good, but I figured i'd post it anyway! I mean what's it gonna hurt? lol..
I don’t know why you’ve left me here
You’ve left me speechless once again, my dear
I wish to understand the choices that you make
I wish to be beside you every breath you take
I’ve never wanted to hurt your feelings
It’s something that should not be done
I think about you every day,
Every night - and in every way.
But somethings are just meant to happen
For why I do not know!
I guess it’s better to not love at all
For when you find someone you love - they go.
__________________
Live as if everyday is your last, because one day it will be.
Gender: Female Location: every which way but loose
Re: "Why You're Gone"
It's a great poem, but (and I hate to be the bringer of bad news), poetry.com is a sham. They 'published' a poem of mine, sent me mountains of correspondence about conventions, readings, award ceremonies... it's all lies. DO NOT send any money to them, you'll never see it again and you certainly won't see your work published. I didn't send the money they asked for and I didn't go to the ceremonies etc... please don't fall foul to their promises.
Gender: Male Location: ...cause I'm right here yo!!
It's obvious that when you wrote the 2nd and 3rd parts, you're mind had wandered a bit, as it does not follow the 1st. The overall thought remained, but the format and rhythm do not. I suppose it's hard to concentrate when one is inundated with mixed emotions and fleeting thoughts of...oh who knows!!!
Write what you feel in your heart, but don't let the mind wander off its course. Your first was better.