Gender: Female Location: every which way but loose
I liked that line too... but I was uncertain about the last verse. It starts really well but it seems that you kinda lost interest half way through Your stuff is usually amazing, I guess that's why I thought less of this piece.
After the passive call of Syren's behest, I give you:
Use Your Eyes Redux; Golden Eggs
Custard tarts and beauty queens,
Chinese doctors selling Spleens,
Bananas, fish-heads, quaint big boats,
Walking platforms made to float.
Trams roll here, Green Men beep there,
No one with time to take a chair,
Brisk-walk-run, taxi to prise
As the profits match the skies.
Skylines formed in perfect wind-water,
Mountains astern, oceans to fore in order,
Those green hills roll for many a mile,
But here in the city, stock-people pile.
As those huge ships barter with produce,
Ants run round in search of golden goose.
Here, plus one, can't be done,
Still bars lie open, wait for the fun.
Sudden trip, only glimpsed, not seen,
Taken aback by the city's sheen,
Like all life, lies good/bad/grey,
But still I shall return for another day...
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Last edited by Ya Krunk'd Floo on Sep 9th, 2005 at 02:31 PM
Gender: Female Location: every which way but loose
Fabulous, methinks you're back on form... the structure is much better, the words roll more smoothly and the whole thing gives off an aura of professionalism, well done...
Thanks, Syren. Please email me naked pictures of you. WHAT AM I SAYING!!?!?
Live
I am united, flaw'd, near-sighted,
I have loved, lost more, but refuse to be blighted,
I have struggled, fought, thought, lost hope,
I have battled the despair and raised the slope,
I begin each day with a nod to the sun,
I begin each day with a means to have fun,
I challenge the dull and refute the wrong,
I divine the beach, surfing, sarong,
I roll with the waves, punches and kicks,
I delight in the quickness of subtle licks,
I crave for more, as it fuels my ambition,
I hope my dreams will meet fruition.
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Kudos Berry, jump'd in gator,
Flavor'd gall, Master Bator,
Atrocious trails and lank, rotten hair,
Feeding Frenzy's ill-gotten stare,
Frozen mildew, mace'd perfume,
Frogg'd out loggers, lost log flume,
Bewilder'd brackish, monkless gnome,
Tilder'd tooth, faint'd home.
Jesus-shoes and Goat'd beard,
Normal reason running weird...
Ghost-loss-loan, mount'd steed,
Exotic-quixotic nonsense breed;
Chode be chide, culture be slain,
Joyce in the mist, swamp'd by the rain.
Fountain of youth, built bullet-proof,
Wax-work'd living in the roof,
Hidden eyes, long-lost spies,
Truth twisted, lost, remade,
Sharpen'd to bleed, cut-cut by blade.
Wisdom gone, fallacy come,
Puppet'd posts run by thumb,
Down-ward fall, already begun,
No water-food, space in tum.
Floating to the moon, burnt by the sun,
All the love shot through by gun-gun-gun,
In time, reawake, reseed, remake,
Take the hate, replace, not late,
Before the floor evaporate, see the lead,
Mend the leave, lost through greed.
Power in life, certainty in death,
Take heed; make difference with each breath.
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Last edited by Ya Krunk'd Floo on Sep 12th, 2005 at 12:51 PM
Gender: Female Location: every which way but loose
Awesome... the words flow together like liquid gold. I keep reading it and each time I see another part that literally jumps out at me. I especially liked the sound of;
Aha! Yes, it must be an intentionally unintentional anomoly...Or maybe it was just a mistake? Impossible! I don't do 'mistakes'...
Revised:
Change Will Come
Kudos Berry, jump'd in gator,
Flavor'd gall, Master Bator,
Atrocious trails and lank, rotten hair,
Feeding Frenzy's ill-gotten stare,
Frozen mildew, mace'd perfume,
Frogg'd out loggers, lost log flume,
Bewilder'd brackish, monkless gnome,
Tilder'd tooth, faint'd home.
Jesus-shoes and Goat'd beard,
Normal reason running weird...
Ghost-loss-loan, mount'd steed,
Exotic-quixotic nonsense breed;
Chode be chide, culture be slain,
Joyce in the mist, swamp'd by the rain.
Fountain of youth, built bullet-proof,
Wax-work'd living in the roof,
Hidden eyes, long-lost spies,
Driven deep in the jungle of lies,
Truth twisted, lost, remade,
Sharpen'd to bleed, cut-cut by blade.
Wisdom gone, fallacy come,
Puppet'd posts run by thumb,
Down-ward fall, already begun,
No water-food, space in tum.
Floating to the moon, burnt by the sun,
All the love shot through by gun-gun-gun,
In time, reawake, reseed, remake,
Take the hate, replace, not late,
Before the floor evaporate, see the lead,
Mend the leave, lost through greed.
Power in life, certainty in death,
Take heed; make difference with each breath.
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
The Quality of Arm-chair Republics Seduced By Treacle
Whistle,
Stop.
Motel,
Please.
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
hehehe...are we, or we are, brother's in thought if not action! and if in action let us not stop to think...maryjane will take 5 dollahs! O' master poet who din kno' it.
Snap, but I cannot abide with the subsequent smilies.
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Are you talking about my poetry or my gaseous affliction?
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Tripp'd-up, fallen-floor mess,
Rollin' with the Rock, anybody's guess,
Tea-totalled troll, moved on, no repast,
Liquid lunch and devil'd moll-ask,
Tenuous link to better day,
It be da beer, it be the way,
Frizzl'd ma mind, now all time,
Mixin' the hops wid da vine,
In the morro', questions will ask,
Not for now as I fill ma flask.
__________________ Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
KMC Community Forums
Your stuff is usually amazing, I guess that's why I thought less of this piece.
Sep 9th, 2005 01:46 PM
Fabulous, methinks you're back on form... the structure is much better, the words roll more smoothly and the whole thing gives off an aura of professionalism, well done...
