I'm laying awake, I should be sleeping seeing as how I have work later but I just have so much on my mind I figure if I released it somehow..maybe I'll be able to gain a bit of respite if only for an hour or so.
I've lost so much of myself this year, everything has just been so overwhelming..I'm constantly haunted by it all, I feel like I've fallen so far, financially I'm in better shape than I ever have been in my life but internally I haven't felt so empty in years. I'm trying to stay positive though, trying to remind myself things eventually pass...I can get back to where I was before in life, it just takes time...At one point I achieved a happiness I'd never thought I'd be able to reach...now realizing I did it once before, I know it's in the realm of possibility. I've been trying to stay away from drinking, seeing as how it's always just robbed me of everything I've loved, especially this year. I haven't shaved in weeks, I look beyond haggard but I really don't mind at this point in time..I'm just trying to pick myself back up off the canvas once more..life hits hard but I must remind myself to endure.
To anyone that has reached out to help, you don't understand how much your kindness means to me..I have a bad habit of trying to deal with everything myself cause I don't like to put my issues upon the backs of others, so the fact I usually don't reply isn't me trying to be rude so please don't take it that way...I'm just not used to people reaching out and lending a hand, and while I will still choose to bare all this weight to myself...I can't thank you enough for your kind words and concern...that alone means the world to me.
KMC Community Forums
Sep 30th, 2015 10:06 AM
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