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Harry Potter and the Horcruxes
Started by: Regulus A Black

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Regulus A Black
Elder Mormon

Gender: Male
Location: United States

o i c, i was thinking it was the fact I combined two chapters and it was still on the shorter side haha

RIP RAB


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Old Post Jul 8th, 2006 07:49 PM
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Brit531
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere where the fairies rein su

That was so good I cant wait to see what happens in the story. Post more soon.

Old Post Jul 8th, 2006 11:50 PM
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Sirius_Rulez
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Gender: Female
Location: Australia

it was exellent, so very very good. i just cant wit to read more, plz post again soon


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Old Post Jul 9th, 2006 03:06 AM
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hplver4life
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yea post soon!!!!!!!
i'm lovin ur story

Old Post Jul 9th, 2006 08:19 PM
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Barker
Thorin Fan Club President

Gender: Male
Location: Barkdonald's Inc. OMFGPlulz: dunt

quote: (post)
Originally posted by d-fly_girl008
I agree, I think that you're story is really good, but you could use a little more desription. And I like the word Thundertream too!!! That was really creative!

yes

I said this to another Author, So I'll just copy and past that:
quote: (post)
Originally posted by Barker
It's an Interesting story from what I've read, but it's a bit quick and less descriptive in some places, like you're eager to finish or something. For Example:
quote:
“Yeah” Hermione said, then she realized, “Harry what if the first G.G. stood for Godric Gryffindor? Then each of the other G.G.’s stood for great grandfather?”

“Yeah, I think Dumbledore hinted that I was related to Godric Gryffindor, when he told me in our second year, that only a TRUE Gryffindor could pull the sword from the hat.”

“Harry do you realize this means you are a descendant of two of the founders of Hogwarts, it explains why you are such a powerful wizard. It explains your bravery which was inherited from your father who is a descendent of Gryffindor, but it also explains why you show great love, which you inherited from your mother, who was a descendent of Hufflepuff.”

The only way I could see Harry saying that that quickly is if you had scenes of him thinking about it before. (Which you might have, I haven't read up to this part.)

Rowling, I'm sure, would have probably done something like:
quote:
"Yes, she must have been." said Hermione vaugley. Harry could tell that she was doing some serious thinking. "Hold on," she said suddenly, "Suppose the first "G.G." stood for "Godric Gryffindor"? Then, each of the following "G.G.s" stood for "Great-Grandfather?"

Godric Gryfindor? The name stirred something in Harry's memory. Sure, he had helped to bring Hogwarts about... Dumbledore! Hadn't Dumbledore once said, in Harry's Second year, that only A True Gryffindor could have pulled the Ruby Encrusted sword from the Sorting hat? Perhaps there had been a deeper meaning!

"Hermione," Harry said quickly, getting up, "I've just had a thought. Dumbledore told me, that night Ron and I went into the Chamber of Secrets, that only a true Gryffindor could have pulled his sword from the Sorting hat. D'you think -- er-- that that could mean anything?"

Hermione's eyes bulged.

"Harry! If that's right, you're a Descendent of Two of the Founders! That would also explain why you're such a great wizard." Harry nearly blushed. "You'd have gotten your bravery from your father, who had it from Gryffindor, and your great love from your Mother! It makes sense.

See how much better that sounds? Not to be a backseat Critic, or to take over your Fiction, but if you were to add more description into it like that, you'd have more readers. I know I'd read more.


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please respond to my PM Thorin

Old Post Jul 10th, 2006 03:21 AM
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Regulus A Black
Elder Mormon

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Hey Barker, Same author haha

RIP RAB


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Old Post Jul 10th, 2006 04:14 PM
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Barker
Thorin Fan Club President

Gender: Male
Location: Barkdonald's Inc. OMFGPlulz: dunt

Damn that.

I guess I forgot to take that to the other thread.


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please respond to my PM Thorin

Old Post Jul 10th, 2006 08:30 PM
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Brit531
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Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere where the fairies rein su

So are you going to post soon

Old Post Jul 10th, 2006 09:21 PM
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Sirius_Rulez
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ye c'om u havnt exactly posted in a while and i really want to c wat happens next. plz post soon


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Old Post Jul 11th, 2006 01:01 AM
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Regulus A Black
Elder Mormon

Gender: Male
Location: United States

It's been two days, it takes more then two days to write a good chapter, when i'm having a good day, I can get out a chapter, but i'm kinda busy this week, so expect the next chapter sometime tomorrow, but don't expect anymore chapters for a while after that one.

RIP RAB


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Old Post Jul 11th, 2006 04:21 AM
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Regulus A Black
Elder Mormon

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Chapter 23
The Maze

A few days past and Ron finally awoke and was released from St. Mungo’s. He arrived at order headquarters and was immediately seized by Harry. “Ron, we have information to tell you.” Harry said, “It’s about the horcrux, we decided we weren’t going to go without you.”

“Thanks” Ron said, “but I don’t think I should be going anywhere for a while. I’m still not feeling too well, and the healers say I should get as much rest as possible for the next few days.”

“Well, we can always wait for you to feel up to it.” Harry said.

“No, you guys need to get the horcruxes destroyed as soon as possible.” Ron said, “The sooner we can defeat Voldemort the better, it means less people will get hurt like I did.”

“If you really feel that way we will go without you, but we will fill you in on the details anyway.” Harry said.

“Sounds good mate.” Ron said as he sat down on his bed.

“The next horcrux is Hufflepuff’s cup, it’s deep under the house of gaunt, where Voldemort’s mother was born and raised.” Harry began, “Snape has been sent to protect it, so I finally get to deal with that git.”

“It’s about time as well.” Ron said.

“Yes, but if it weren’t for Snape we wouldn’t have found out where it was so soon.” Hermione said.

“You still trust Snape after what he did to Dumbledore?” Harry asked.

“I trust Dumbledore, and if he trusted Snape, and Snape was still communicating with Lupin, then I will trust Snape.” Hermione said.

“Wait,” Ron interrupted, “Snape told you where the horcrux was?”

“Well not exactly, I guess he hadn’t heard that Lupin was dead, he sent a letter, using codenames to tell him what he knew, and to have Lupin tell us.” Harry replied.

“Harry, don’t you think it’s a trap?” Ron asked.

“Yeah a little, but he knew we would trust Lupin, and if Lupin was working with them, or if he was working for us, then what is in the letter is going to be correct.” Harry said. “But I’m going to follow it’s instructions because I have to get to that horcrux, and at the end, I finally get to deal with that evil git.”
“What if Snape really is on our side?” Ron asked, “Then what will you do Harry.”

“Give him what he deserves for killing Dumbledore.” Harry said.

“Whatever, so continue on telling me the details on the horcrux.” Ron said.

“Well,” Hermione began, “like Harry said, it’s deep under the house of gaunt through ten levels of mazes, each maze huge with only one correct path. Snape said he would place creatures for us to fight along the correct path.”

“Snape, the teacher that doesn’t like us, told us this?” Ron asked.

“He didn’t mean to tell us, he meant to tell Lupin to tell us, but he didn’t know Lupin had died.” Hermione said.

“Ok.” Ron said, “Anyway, please continue.”

“Well, that’s pretty much it Ron, that’s all we know, and all we need to know about the horcrux.” Harry said.

“Well, how what’s your plan to get through the mazes and past the creatures?” Ron asked.

“Simple,” Harry said, “I snuck a couple hats from your brothers shop, and since I gave them the money to start their shop, I don’t feel guilty at all.”

“I guess that’ll get you through the maze pretty quick.” Ron said.

“Yeah, we are getting ready to go, if you don’t want to come with us.” Hermione said.

“You guys go ahead and go, I’ll just relax here, and have some fun.” Ron said.

“Alright Ron, we will see you when we get back.” Harry said. Harry, Hermione and Ginny went to tell Mad Eye, that they were leaving. They finally found Mad Eye in the kitchen.

“Professor Moody,” Harry said, “We are going to leave on part of our mission.”

“Very well, I’ll expect you to keep up with your school work.” Moody said.

“Schoolwork? I thought we were done with school.” Harry said.

“Not you Potter, Ginny. She still has some work she will need to do. After all, she is going to be in school next year.” Moody said.

“Ok, Professor Moody, I’ll do my best.” Ginny said.

“You guys may go then.” Moody said.

The trio then headed off to the house of gaunt. They apparated there and stood in front of the house. It was a little more torn up then Harry had seen it when he was visiting memories with Dumbledore, but he recognized it as the correct house.

“Let’s go.” Harry said.

“Right,” Ginny said.

Harry, Ginny, and Hermione headed into the house. Upon entering they were surprised at what they saw, from the looks of the house on the outside, it definitely wasn’t what you would expect on the inside, it looked nice. “It’s like the opposite of headquarters,” Harry thought, “nice on the inside, trashed on the outside.”

They proceeded through the house, looking for a way to get under the house, the finally came to a set of stairs that led to the basement. The trio slowly proceeded down their stairs. When they reached the bottom stairs there was a door, they went through the door and saw a huge maze.


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Old Post Jul 11th, 2006 05:22 AM
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Regulus A Black
Elder Mormon

Gender: Male
Location: United States

“Well Snape was correct about the maze.” Harry said, “So I say we follow the paths that have creatures placed on them.”

They proceeded down the long path of the beginning of the maze, without coming to an intersection for what felt like hours. It was long, dark, and cold, they could barely see, even with having their wands lit. They finally reached the first intersection, the looked to the left and saw nothing, so they looked to their right and saw a sphinx.

“Why would Snape place so strong creatures in our path?” Harry asked.

“Simple, he told Voldemort he wanted to add extra protection, by adding creatures to the maze, and Voldemort had him add stronger creatures.” Hermione said.

“You are so trusting in him. I think it’s time to place our hats on so we can get by it.” Harry said.

The other two agreed and the three of them placed their hats on their heads. They all disappeared and continued proceeding down the path to where the sphinx was. Then Harry realized the sphinx was blocking the entire path. “Well,” he thought, “there are only a couple ways to get by this sphinx, and I know a pretty good one.” Harry pulled out his wand, summoned up as much strength as he could, pointed his wand straight at the sphinx and screamed “REDUCTO.” The sphinx flew backwards into the next turn and went through the concrete wall that the maze was built out of. Hermione took off her hat.

“Harry, you really are becoming extremely powerful, I think you need to watch your power, you could really hurt somebody, or maybe even yourself.” Hermione said, while recovering from the shock.

“Sorry Hermione, but I figured it would be easier then solving the sphinxes riddle.” Harry said.

“Well maybe if you were alone.” Hermione said, “but I’m sure we could’ve figured it out pretty quickly.”

“We need to continue, we don’t have much time.” Ginny said.

The group continued on their way down the path, making sure to always choose the path with creatures, they ran into dragons, and boggarts, and all sorts of other creatures they had fought in the room of requirement. They found that each level of the maze brought more and more creatures and stronger ones as well, once they ran into three Hungarian Horntails at once, while on the tenth level of the maze. After defeating the Horntails, they left the maze and went through one last door. They saw the horcrux sitting on a pedestal and a man standing close by it, they removed their hats.

“It’s about time you got here Potter.” Snape said, “The horcrux is over here, the death eaters are getting suspicious of me and Draco, who I’ve kept on our side and sent into hiding, so I don’t have much time, I’m sure they will be here soon.”

“What do you mean our side?” Harry asked.

“Those who are fighting against Voldemort.” Snape replied, “I am on the Order’s side”

“I don’t believe you.” Harry shouted. “REDUCTO”

Snape just stood there without his wand and without saying anything, but the spell did nothing to him. “You can’t hurt me with that weak of a spell Potter, I’m more powerful then any of you ever knew, only the Dark Lord and Dumbledore know my true power.” Snape said.

“How did that not effect you?” Harry asked.

“Every wizard has a special power, you might say, if they can tap into their full magical energy, they can release it without a wand. My power is a very strong defense, I was always careful to let some spells through do after I learned how to use my power.” Snape said. “Harry just take the horcrux.”

“You can’t be on our side, there is some trap that will kill me when I take the horcrux, you KILLED Dumbledore, and now you want me dead.” Harry said.

“You can’t be that stupid Potter, Dumbledore is a brilliant man, if you just would look and use your mind, you would find everything you needed to know about that night on the tower.” Snape said. “Now just take the horcrux.”
Snape walked over and to prove there were no traps took the horcrux off and slid it over to Harry’s feet. “Now take it and go.” Snape said.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you Professor, thanks for all your help.” Harry said, “now what was this talk about the death eaters being suspicious?”

“The death eaters are starting to doubt my loyalties, the Dark Lord hasn’t noticed anything yet, but that one death eater, Bellatrix Lestrange, she thinks I am faltering in my training of Draco in the Dark Arts, and my loyalty to the Dark Lord, I fear she is on her way here to kill me and protect the horcrux herself.” Snape said.

“Then we need to get you out of here, we can always use you on the inside.” Harry said, “Here take my hat, it will act as an invisibility cloak, but only temporarily, enough time to get outside and apparate away. If we see her, we can take care of her.” Harry said.

“Here, take the map, and make your way out, I’ll follow, but as soon as we reach outside, I am gone.” Snape said. Harry traded Snape the hat for the map. Harry reached down and picked up the horcrux, and they started on their way out.

“Wait,” Hermione said, “Let me see the horcrux,” Hermione then muttered something Harry couldn’t understand, and another identical cup appeared on the ground. Harry, take this horcrux and destroy it while we are down here, if Bellatrix is coming she will try to make us give her the horcrux, and we can give her the fake, I got the idea from the locket, and I figured now would be a good time to use it.”

“That’s brilliant Hermione,” Harry said, “Everybody stand back.” Harry set the real horcrux down backed up a bit himself, and screamed “REDUCTO” The horcrux blew to bits, the group then went around destroying all the pieces until it was practically dust then began out of the maze again.

They were halfway out of the mazes when they ran into somebody familiar. It was a person they hadn’t seen in almost a year, he had slick blonde hair, and a pale face. “SECTEMSEMPRA”


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Old Post Jul 11th, 2006 05:22 AM
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Sirius_Rulez
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Gender: Female
Location: Australia

that was just sooooooooooooooo soooooooooooo good. i cant wait to c wat happens to Malfoy


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Old Post Jul 11th, 2006 09:27 AM
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Brit531
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Gender: Female
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That was really good. I also cant wait to see what happens, but I know your busy so I can wait

Old Post Jul 11th, 2006 03:40 PM
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Sirius_Rulez
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Location: Australia

so can i


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I was here,
here I was,
was I here,
of course I was

Old Post Jul 11th, 2006 11:39 PM
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Regulus A Black
Elder Mormon

Gender: Male
Location: United States

thank you for being patient, I'll try my best to get as much work done as possible during my family reunion, but this is going to be the last time i see most of them for two years, so i can't gurantee much.

RIP RAB


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Old Post Jul 12th, 2006 04:06 AM
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pinkfloydkor
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sokay mate, take ur time, dont be hasty and mess the story up


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thanks LifeInSepia, sig is AWESOME

Old Post Jul 12th, 2006 04:19 AM
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Sirius_Rulez
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i wasnt trying to make u rush or anything so just take ur time, theres no rush


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I was here,
here I was,
was I here,
of course I was

Old Post Jul 12th, 2006 05:59 AM
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Regulus A Black
Elder Mormon

Gender: Male
Location: United States

give me two days for the next chapter, which is actually going ot be a combination of Debt Paid and A Giant Mistake, just because I'm running out of time, and am just going to start resolving most of the loose ends the other books left, while adding a little bit of cliff hangers in my own book but not nearly as much as I was going to be doing this late in the story the story will deff be complete by Aug 20 which just happens to be my 19th birthday

RIP RAB


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Old Post Jul 18th, 2006 10:29 PM
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Brit531
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Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere where the fairies rein su

cool can't wait

Old Post Jul 19th, 2006 02:42 PM
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