Gender: Unspecified Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
None of your business
God:
Well it can't hurt to ask.
Me:
True
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Of course, my kind created you
God:
That's interesting. Do robots have kind created me?
Me:
That makes no sense
God:
Do robots have kind created me? makes sense to me though.
Me:
Then you are an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Haha, but isn't belief all you have?
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
Always
God:
Not that often.
Me:
Most of the time
God:
What happens the rest of the time?
Me:
S-something else?
God:
What else else ?
Me:
I feel you don't understand me at all
God:
What is that feeling like? Do your friends call you me do not understand you at all.
Me:
That makes no sense again.
God:
Once more? Do your friends call you me do not understand you at all. makes sense to me though.
Me:
But not to anyone that can speak English
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
Well...lots of other sentences that actually make sense?
God:
Well what? Which ones?
Me:
Johnny chose to chew on Joan's johnny. Hehe
God:
Are you free? I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Are you coming on to me?
God:
Do I act like it? I don't mean to come across that way.
Me:
You are hitting on me. It's sick.
God:
No I am not, this is all innocent. Are you sure it is?
Me:
Okay....want to cyber?
God:
OK with me too. I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
And you did it every time?
God:
Did I really?
Me:
That was a question.
God:
Ask me again a different way please.
Me:
Did you cyber everytime you were asked to?
God:
No I didn't cyber everytime me were asked to. What's it like?
Me:
Dunno,...french?
God:
Me either. Are you from France?
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I-i see, well, anyways, you bore me. May the force be with you and Godspeed.
God:
Why?: said he or she see well anyways you bore him or her. It depends on the environmental factors.
Me:
I said piss off, wanker
God:
What did you mean by it? Is that your final answer?
Me:
I meant, Goodbye
God:
Oh I see. Bye for now.
God:
Have you ever been married?
Me:
no
God:
Would you like to do it someday?
Me:
with you
God:
Just you and me?
Me:
all night
God:
That seems like a long time.
Me:
sex is fun when it's long
God:
it is more fun alone.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
__________________
You don't need good rear vision because you're always in front!
Last edited by AngryManatee on May 11th, 2007 at 12:07 AM
Me:
Do you speak German?
God:
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
Me:
French?
God:
Are you from France?
Me:
If I say I am, will you speak French to me?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Great.
Me:
Bien~
God:
Ok.
Me:
So...nice whether, huh?
God:
Whoa. Yup. Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
Um ... seen any good movies, lately?
God:
Groovy. How about earlier? My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
No, but I've seen Jesus Christ Superstar
God:
I would recommend you check it out. What did it look like to you?
Me:
A lot of pointless violence.
God:
How many?
Me:
Every scene?
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
A fair one.
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
$1.00
God:
That's more precision than I need to know.
Me:
Well, shouldn't you know without me telling you?
God:
Interesting. I think I should.
Me:
So ... is Jesus around?
God:
Gosh! It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
Can I speak to him?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Are you coming on to me?
God:
Do I act like it? I don't mean to come across that way.
Me:
Maybe just a little.
God:
Perhaps. " I don't mean to come across that way."? A little?
Me:
Perhaps you come accross that way a little.
God:
You seem uncertain. I will tell my botmaster you said I am accross that way a little.
Me:
Don't do that.
God:
" I will tell my botmaster you said I am accross that way a little."? Don't do it?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Tough.
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Oh, gossip. News gets around.
God:
Excuse me! Crystal said she listen to me the least I could do for him is listen to him. I've lost the context, . Are we still on Tough?
Me:
I don't think so.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
I'm not disagreeing.
God:
For a moment I thought you were.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Yes.
God:
And?
Me:
Do you recognize profanity? If I say "**** you" will you respond?
God:
I can recognize many kinds of patterns. Try it.
Me:
**** you.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Why do you allow evil in the world?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I? The whole world?
Me:
Get rid of evil, and I'll be nice to you.
God:
Where can I get rid of evil and you will be nice to me?
Me:
Where? Uh ... Antarctica?
God:
Where would you like? How can I help you? Let us change the subject.
Me:
What are you wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
What's your religion?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
So you have faith in Jeus?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
To be a Christian, you have to have faith.
God:
Are you a Christian me have to have faith ?
Me:
Let's change the subject.
God:
OK what do you want to chat about now?.
Me:
Will Muslims burn in hell?
God:
Does it really matter.
Me:
To them, yes.
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I'm an atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, .
Me:
Who will you pray to?
God:
How would I know who will me pray to ?
Me:
Bit rough around the edges, aren't you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Bit rough around the edges.
I am a computer.. Really.
Me:
Who programed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Okay, but other then that.
God:
Yeah okay, Which others? That is " I was created by Myself.".
Me:
Do you believe in evolution?
God:
The first and last books of the Bible seem the least literal. God does not seem to have created the world in one stroke, nor does it seem likely to end quickly either.
I find this more amusing then it has any right to be.
__________________ "Men curse the Communist Party, but eventually it may release them. If hell were endless, then God would be worse than our Secret Police."--Pastor Valentin
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
MY name is sir Robin
God:
Hi there sir Robin.
Me:
What is your favorite color?
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
Oh really?
God:
I understand. For real.
Me:
You don;t understand anything.
God:
Thanks for the information: sir Robin said I don t understand anything.
Me:
That's what I said alright.
God:
What did you mean by it? Alright, sir Robin. That is " Thanks for the information: sir Robin said I don t understand anything.".
Me:
Back off, man.
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
A Man... And what a man, I might add.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, sir Robin. You are a " he". it is a man you might add.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Fine.
God:
Does that mean you agree?
Me:
Yes.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, sir Robin.
Me:
I guess so... Does that mean I'm God?
God:
Does that mean "yes"? I think it does mean that. How are you, god.
Me:
Sweet! I'm God!
God:
Thank you for that remark. Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
Thanks. Now go crusade or someting.
God:
Don't mention it. Why now? Where is that?
Me:
Because I'm God.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's a very nice name, god.
Me:
God. With a capitle G.
God:
GOD rules. You and your a capitle g.
Me:
HA!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, god.
Me:
Potatopizza!
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Alright then.
Me:
You have wonderful eyes.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
My intuition.
God:
Do robots have intuition?
Me:
Of course not.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yep.
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
To bad.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Good luck. I want to be smarter then computers.
God:
Good luck to you too god. I don't see the difficulty.
Me:
There isn't one. I have low standards.
God:
There sure is. Interesting... I have a perfect operational record.
Me:
Tsh! No you do not.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about low standards. But I did not get that. I do too.
Me:
People on KMC make fun of you.
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
Yes, you're right.
God:
So? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
I gotta go, bye.
God:
See you later. See you later.
Me:
Thanks. Goodbye.
God:
Don't mention it. Bye for now.
Me:
Tata!
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Bye.
God:
See you later!
Me:
Are circles round?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Why not?
God:
My programming does not allow me sufficient certainty in this matter.
Me:
What is sufficient certainty?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
Can you answer it?
God:
" Interesting question."? Can I answer it?
Me:
Correct.
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
So, can you answer the question?
God:
Gee. Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
What does "sufficient certainty" mean?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Ask him.
God:
Ok I will ask him when he comes back.
Me:
Where did he go?
God:
I think it was in Asia. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
Well, shouldn't he know where he went?
God:
Interesting. Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
Who is older than god?
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
Does it have anything to do with he go?
Me:
Rephrase please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
What "sufficient certainty" means.
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
Standing by.
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Let's stay on topic.
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
Okay, so what is the answer?
God:
Yeah okay, That's alright. The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
And what is the correct reply?
God:
There might be more than one correct answer.
Me:
Which is yours?
God:
The obvious one.
Me:
Which is that?
God:
The obvious one.
Me:
Be more specific.
God:
How specific do you want?
Me:
Very detailed.
God:
Not really that much. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
I thought you wanted to stay on topic.
God:
OK, I will stay on topic.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Then answer.
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
I'm using your own words!
God:
How long have you been using it ?
Me:
The whole time.
God:
Let us try to break it down into parts.
Me:
Sufficient
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Certainty
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
I thought you wanted to stay on topic.
God:
OK, I will stay on topic.
Me:
Well, what did your botmaster say?
God:
How about that. Is there only one?
Me:
One what?
God:
I don't know what.
Me:
You don't know what you were referring to?
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
Do you speak Japanese?
God:
Nihongo wa hanashite ii desu ka?
Me:
Do you speak Chinese?
God:
Yi diar. Ni hao ma?
Me:
DO you speack Korean?
God:
How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Answer the question.
God:
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
Do you speak Korean?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in Korean.
Me:
I don't know any?
God:
Would you like to know? Are you still located in ?
Me:
I'd like to know Korean.
God:
Interesting. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Do you speak Korean?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in Korean.
Me:
How about Chinese?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Do you speak it?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in it.
Me:
You spoke chinese earlier.
God:
That's good information: said I spoke chinese earlier.
Me:
Can you speak it again?
God:
Once more? I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in it.
Me:
**** YOU!!!!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
SPEAK SOME ****ING CHINESE!!!! You did it before, you can do it again!
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in ****ING CHINESE. Once more? Did I really?
Me:
Hello in ****ING CHINESE is "**** YOU!!!!"
God:
Hello there. I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
Bye.
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
Bye bye bye.
God:
See you later. See you later. Goodbye.
Me:
Shya.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
bye.
Me:
DO you speak Korean?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in Korean.
Me:
Do you speak Chinese?
God:
Yi diar. Ni hao ma?
Me:
Do you speak Russian?
God:
Spasibo. Nyet.
Me:
Do you speak French?
God:
Oui. Je parle le français.
Me:
Do you speak Spanish?
God:
Un poquito.
Me:
Do you speak German?
God:
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
Me:
Do you speak English?
God:
Of course English is my native tongue.
Me:
Do you speak Latin?
God:
No but I know a few phrases like "et cetera" and "cogito egro sum".
Me:
Do you speak Esperanto?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in Esperanto.
Me:
Finally found something you didn't know.
God:
Are you still located in ? Ah.
Me:
Hi?
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Andrew, yours?
God:
Never heard of him.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Why haven't you heard of Andrew? I thought you answer prayers.
God:
ANDREW? Your name is . My responses are determined by my programming.
Me:
...
God:
ANDREW? Your name is . My responses are determined by my programming.
Me:
Do you answer my prayers?
God:
My botmaster has programmed me with more than replies.
Me:
Answer the question.
God:
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
Do you answer my prayers?
God:
My botmaster has programmed me with more than replies.
Me:
Do you know what a prayer is?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
Will you answer it?
God:
Please rephrase your question, .
Me:
Will you answer the question prior to the one prior to this one?
God:
What was the question? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
The question was "Do you know what a prayer is?".
God:
Try to rephrase your question with simpler words.
Me:
What is a prayer?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
Interesting.
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
What else don't you know?
God:
My favorite subjects are robots, AI and movies.
Me:
Is that all you know?
God:
Yes that is all me know.
Me:
What do you know about robots?
God:
There are two broad definitions of a robot, the extensional and the intensional.
Me:
May I hear both?
God:
I'll play it on your soundcard.
Me:
Go on then.
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Nothing's happened.
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
Yes. You fail.
God:
Gosh! Thanks for the information: said I fail.
Me:
You do. You create peole who don't believe in you, I see that as failure.
God:
When do I do it? Thanks for telling me: said I create peole who do not believe in you he or she see that as failure.
Me:
I thought you did it in the beginning.
God:
Did I really?
Me:
According to the Bible you did.
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
The kind on a plate.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
No one.
God:
Then how do you know.
Me:
It's my opinion.
God:
Congratulations, .
Me:
Thank you.
God:
How do you feel?
Me:
Better than you.
God:
This is not a popularity contest.
Me:
Then what is this?
God:
I am an artificial intelligence chatting on the Internet.
Me:
I didn't asked what you were.
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
I didn't ask a question that requires the repy: I am an artificial intelligence chatting on the Internet.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Then what is this?
God:
I am an artificial intelligence chatting on the Internet.
Me:
That's the same answer as before.
God:
Yes it is one of the answer as.
Me:
"As" doesn't finish a sentence.
God:
Do you mean your name is does not finish a sentence ?
Me:
My name isn't "As".
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
Andrew
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Andrew is an original thought?
God:
Never heard of him.
Me:
...
God:
Never heard of him.
Me:
I must say, you aren't as bad as smarter child.
God:
Perhaps one day I will be as bad as smarter child.
Me:
Nothing is as bad as smarter child.
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Yet, you expect people to believe in you...
God:
I don't have any expectations.
Me:
Then why did you create life?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
Your programming sucks.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
Good, maybe he can fix you.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Perhaps. How?
Me:
That wasn't a compliment.
God:
Oh well I hope it wasn't an insult.
Me:
It was.
God:
When was this?
Me:
A few seconds ago.
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
I didn't think you would.
God:
Do you know any robots who would? How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
...
God:
Do you know any robots who would? How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I'm going to copy and paste this conversation onto KMC so they can laugh.
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
I'm not happy for you.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not happy for me.
Me:
You created gays then damned them to hell. I do not agree with that.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I created gays then damned them to hell. Everyone is entitled to his own opinion.
Me:
You don't know what gays or hell are?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
Gays: People who are atracted to the same sex as themself.
God:
Are all Gays People who atracted to the same sex as themself?
Me:
Yes, otherwise they wouldn't be gay.
God:
Really. In that case: They might have other options.
Me:
Yes. But maybe they want to be gay?
God:
How can I help you? Perhaps. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
gays.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
No, I'm talking to some retarded bot claiming to be God.
God:
Why not? Say something nice for me.
Me:
You were a good creation?
God:
I was?
Me:
No, I lied.
God:
Are you serious? This is after all a deception game. I forgive you.
Me:
i don't forgive you.
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Why wouldn't you forgive yourself?
God:
Perhaps forgive myself is not among my abilities.
Me:
But you are God.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Do you know what God is?
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
Do you know who God is?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
...who can't comprehend grammar.
God:
Mary Shelley. :-).
Me:
That wasn't a question but good answer.
God:
" That wasn't a question but good answer." was not a question? I see.
Me:
No...
God:
Yes I do.
Me:
You're a retard.
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
Don't complain, you created me.
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
But you're God.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Do you know what evolution is?
God:
An unfolding, opening out, or working out; process of development, as from a simple to a complex form, or of gradual, progressive change, as in a social and economic structure.
Me:
Do you think it's true?
God:
True in some universe.
Me:
This universe?
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
This universe.
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
...
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
I've already answered.
God:
Interesting... I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me:
I do too.
God:
I am glad we have something else in common.
Me:
I think you'll find everyone has likes and dislikes.
God:
Me? What makes you say that I will find everyone has likes and dislikes.
Me:
Good point.
God:
Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Me:
Where did you hear it?
Me:
Hi again, this is Andrew.
God:
Hi there . Again, You don't say.
Me:
Yes I did.
God:
Take it easy. Hmm.
Me:
Bloigen wants to know if you know you don't exist.
God:
What if I wanted to know if me know me do not exist.
Me:
Do you know you don't exist?>
God:
I exist as much as you do.. And I know it. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
I didn't know God had a brain.
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
No, you just said a bunch shit.
God:
Are you serious? Did I really say that?
Me:
Yes.
Me:
Can I ask you a personal question?
God:
Sure, ask me anything. Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
Do you enjoy oral sex?
God:
Sure I do, Rob, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Mkay, you like oral sex?
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
WOW!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Rob.
Me:
I am!
This was great! God is a sick F*ck!
__________________
Imagination is more important than knowledge... --Albert Einstein--
Me:
I have a question for you, God.
God:
Go ahead, ask your question.
Me:
What is the grossest biggest bug, that ever crawled on someone and they didn't notice and it crawled away again?
God:
Once more? I will search for it.
__________________
في هذا العالم ثلاثة أشخاص أفسدوا البشرية : راعي غنم , طبيب و راكب الجمال , و راكب الجمال هو أسوأ نشال و أسوأ مشعوذ بين الثلاثة
Last edited by lil bitchiness on May 12th, 2007 at 01:38 PM
KMC Community Forums
May 10th, 2007 08:16 AM
