Gender: Female Location: on the dingy with dear ol' Jacky
LOL You guys this is brilliant. I can totally see all of them freezing as junior comes in and then start beating each other up again as he leaves the room
__________________ My hats off to joanjoan
Freedom...
Gender: Female Location: at the second star to the right
Hmm, what to do, what to do...
(Junior and his parents are having an outing on the beach. Junior runs ahead and picks up several shells)
Junior: Which one does this look like, Daddy?
Will: (picks up the shell) Ah, that's what Mr. Charles looked like on the Dutchman before I came along.
(Junior pockets it and picks up another one)
Junior: And this one?
Will: Well, that looks like a cross between Mr. Horowitz and Mr. Smith.
Elizabeth: (has suddenly stopped dead in her tracks) Uh, Will? What happened to all those guys when you came back?
Will: It's all taken care of.
(Cut to the Flying Dutchman. Captain Bootstrap is whistling merrily and not being crazy for once.)
(Cut back to the Turner family. They're all playing in the water now)
Jack: Hey! Hey!
Will: Oh look it's Jack. (waves) Hi, Jack!
Jack: Why are all of you in the water?
Elizabeth: You seem panicked.
Jack: Astute observation. Out! There's trouble!
Junior: What's wrong, Uncle Jack?
Jack: This was found amongst Junior's shells (hands them a message in a bottle)
Will: (reading) Your father, while not a tyrant, has gotten extremely annoying. Ever since he's heard he's become a grandpa, he's been sitting in a rocker telling us stories about his youth. While we already knew lots of embarassing things about Jack and Barbossa, he has taken to telling us stories of you when were a baby before he left you and your mom. As much as we like hearing stories of Baby Captain Turner's green infant poo, [Will coughs], we dislike what all's going on. He tells us he would walk 15 miles in the snow to get to the ships when he was younger. He gives us pennies and tells us not to spend them all in one place. Please do something about his grandpa-isms. Sincerely, the crew.
Jack: Now you see what we're up against. When I knew Bootstrap, he used to be cool. Now he's a square.
Junior: Let's go visit Grandpa!
Elizabeth: That might actually solve the problem, Will. Your father will focus all his attention on us and Junior. (sees Jack shuffle his feet and look at the ground) Jack, is something wrong.
Jack: No, nothing. It's just with Kate Beckinsale shooting a movie and Barbossa going back to ship traffic school, I might just house sit for you guys...all alone...with only some rum...
Junior: Uncle Jack should come to! (Jack perks up)
Will: Fine. We'll set out tomorrow for the Dutchman.
And so our heroes embark on a journey to the supernatural. How will Bootstrap react to seeing them? Will Jack cause trouble? Will Elizabeth consider this a honeymoon of sorts? Will Barbossa pass ship traffic school? Find out in the next installment.
Gender: Female Location: at the second star to the right
(Barbossa is sitting in a classroom trying to focus)
Boring teacher: When in your ships, pirate or not, it's a good idea to maintain a healthy distance between you and other ships. While swinging across onto another ship sounds fun, or "cool," it is hazardous to yourself and to the crew of the other ship.
Barbossa: Wonder what Jack and everybody else is doing...
(CUT TO The Flying Dutchman)
Bootstrap: (showing them around) And over here I've installed a flat screen puppet theater. When the crew sits in the very back, the puppets are still as big as their foot! Everything is in high clarity.
Elizabeth: That sounds great, Grandpa Turner.
Bootstrap: Bootstrap, sweetheart. Now, you may remember this is Davy's cabin where he would play that God-awful organ all the time. But with some clever hydraulics, it's a health spa!
(our heroes look in and see some off-duty crew members lounging in a hot tub)
Will: I like what you've done with the place, Dad, but you remember this was my ship. It's really Junior that's never been on it before.
Bootstrap: How you liking it so far, kid?
Junior: It's a great ship, Grandpa! I colored this earlier of what I thought it would look like. (he holds up a child's drawing of a ship with a stick figure at the helm. Only we know it bears some resemblance to Bootstrap)
Bootstrap: (teary-eyed) It's the best gift I ever got! This gets framed and placed on the mantle of my cabin.
Jack: (nudges Junior) Where's my drawing for my cabin?
Junior: You don't have your ship back yet.
Jack: That's what you think. Now that Barbossa got a ship traffic violation, his captaincy is suspended.
Elizabeth: Have you forgotten he's a pirate?
Jack: Certainly not, love, but he won't chance it. Yep. The Pearl's as good as mine.
(They all come back up to the deck. A crewman brings pink lemonade and scones for everyone.)
Bootstrap: Oh, I came across these and figured you would all like to have them. (passes out books) It's called Memoirs of a Geisha. Found it in the time portal. Pretty good. Sexy.
Jack: I'll take two copies, please.
Will: Sounds like you're doing great for yourself, Dad.
Bootstrap: Sure am, but it's already time to be thinking of a replacement when my ten years are up. It'd be nice to not see bloated drowned bodies and instead see someone that was maybe strangled to death or beaten with a bat.
Elizabeth: Speaking of which, you'll have to visit Shipwreck Cove.
Bootstrap: Delightful!
(Jack senses things are getting a little too refined. He lets out a sigh but then sees a ship in the distance)
Jack: That's the Pearl!
Barbossa: (yells over to them) Passed me test with flyin' colors, I did! I'll be the one teachin' the lad how to captain!
Jack: That son of a... (dives in and swims after the ship)
(Will takes his scone)
Elizabeth: He'll be back, Will.
Will: (takes Jack's lemonade also) And he'll be so mad he'll forget all about one tiny glass of lemonade gone.
Gender: Female Location: at the second star to the right
Hmm, Jack has decided to pursue another date with Kate Beckinsale. Because he doesn't want to associate her with this forum, he calls her Katie.
(They are having dinner at a restaurant. It's nice, but there is something a little Tortuga-ish about it, as if this is a place where seedy things take place under the surface)
Katie: How's your shrimp?
Jack: Meaty...kind of. How's your wine?
Katie: You're having the same wine.
Jack: Oh. Well, mine's spiced with some rum and whiskey in it, so I was wondering how it tasted pure.
Katie: Nothing about me is 100% pure... (he flinches as if he's been nudged under the table. He grins at her)
Jack: You know...bugger.
Katie: What's wrong?
Jack: Don't look behind you, but Will and Lizzie are here.
Katie: Ohhhh. Just lay low and maybe we'll get out of double dating with them.
Jack: Triple dating, you mean.
Katie: They're with people?
Jack: Anamaria and... (does a double take when she's with Charlie Sheen)
Katie: Oh! Don't tell me: that homunculus and his friend with the wooden eye.
Jack: Not remotely close.
Katie: Let me think then. How about some boy that's noble, heroic, terrific soprano. Worth at least four... maybe three and a half souls.
Jack: You keep getting colder and colder (waves).
(Katie turns and sees Charlie Sheen. Will and Elizabeth wave, happy to see them. Anamaria waves, slightly embarassed.)
Katie: Do all girls you date run into Charlie Sheen's arms?
Jack: About half. The other turn gay, my dear.
Katie: (raises her glass) To Anamaria: may she find the brave soul I so originally described, and may Charlie Sheen leave her anything but sullied and unusual.
Jack: (smitten) Have you heard the phrase, 'great minds think alike?'
KMC Community Forums
Oct 31st, 2007 09:27 PM
thank you to Mrs.Fish for the siggy!!
