Gender: Male Location: The Darkest Corner of your Mind
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Women
I'm not sure if this is because I'm approaching the age where my testosterone naturally peaks or for some other reason, but I've found that I've been increasingly distracted by girls in my day-to-day life.
Although I've actually been masturbating less frequently than I was 3 years ago, I'm having recurring, invasive thoughts of performing sexual acts on my classmates that I've never really had until now.
Even when I was a horny teenager, at most I would see some exposed skin, tight leggings, whatever, and have a brief happy thought about it. It usually wouldn't reoccur again on the same person.
Now I'm finding that these invasive thoughts are occurring multiple times throughout the day involving the same 5 or so women who I see around campus, in class, etc. I can't even say with 100% certainty that these are unpleasant thoughts. The rational, logical half of me cringes and tries to eject these thoughts the moment they occur. I try to meditate when I can, but my tight schedule means that it offers limited relief from these images. But then there is the animal side of me; The neanderthal behaviors stemming from the hypothalamus and amygdala that I've been managing to suppress just barely through intense self-discipline and meditation for the past few years. That part of me enjoys these lascivious visions, and it's a constant struggle as my rational being fights against it.
I'm somewhat indecisive about how to approach this entire situation. I really would like these occurrences to end as they're starting to affect my well being.
Perhaps one of you can counsel me with some philosophical sayings or something.
I'm fine with companionship but, these lewd thoughts need to end.
__________________ "Technology equals might!" "Evolve or perish"
See how short that was? It'll be like this when you finally get there, not this long drawn out nonsense and rambling that's basically you wanking about wanking.
Holy f*ck... You're living in the wrong era, kid. The Victorian age is back thattaway.
__________________ Recently Produced and Distributed Young but High-Ranking Political Figure of Royal Ancestry within the Modern American Town Affectionately Referred To as Bel-Air.
He's more a Puritan. Victorians were into threeways, orgies, ass gangbangs, sadism etc. and they liked to think about it all the time, if rarely expressed outwardly not behind closed doors.
Gender: Male Location: The Darkest Corner of your Mind
Account Restricted
See, controlling that neanderthal part of me is analogous to Raven controlling Trigon's influence on herself. Now do you understand why I enjoy her?
No. I do not want to have sex—at least the rational part of me doesn't. The problem—what I think it is—is that I'm starting to lose this battle. My self-discipline is starting to slip, my intelligence is beginning to crystallize, my neuro-plasticity beginning to solidify. I'm feel as though I am beginning to die mentally and succumb to my animal instincts.
(aka Trigon is beginning to possess Raven.)
My meditation and workout routines are no longer addressing the problem like they have for the past few years. They are slowing down the rate of this 'destabilization', but soon won't be effective.
Testosterone peaks at about age 20, and I'm quickly approaching that mark. I want to think that this is only a hormonal issue, but I'm not sure. I don't know enough about neuroscience to tell if my brain is truly beginning to solidify.
I have aspirations beyond what 99% of the population is interested in. To have the best chance of achieving those goals, I need my mind to stay sharp for as long as it can.
Me having these "issues" raises red flags for me as I believe I'm starting to lose control over myself and that my brain deteriorating or some shit.
We as humans have portions of our brain that doesn't exist in any other animal, or at least not to same level of development. These regions of the brain are what gives us the ability to be "rational" and perform some of our greatest achievements. But irrational urges, like sex, stem from the more rudimentary portion of the brain—the portion shared with the majority of mammals. That is why we've only had a handful of John Von Neumann's throughout history but a shit-ton of promiscuous people. We need to keep evolving.
__________________ "Technology equals might!" "Evolve or perish"
Kurk reminds me of that crazy general in Dr Strangelove that starts a nuclear holocaust and starts ranting about how he hates ejaculating because it represents a loss of essence.