Lara Croft: Tomb Raider Review

by Laura Clifford (lcliffor AT genuity DOT net)
June 21st, 2001
LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER
------------------------

Lady Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie, "Gone in 60 Seconds") lives in a mind-numbingly huge British estate with her butler Hilary (Chris Barrie of the British series "Red Dwarf"), who attempts to get her to dress more femininely, and personal techno-geek Bryce (Noah Taylor, "Shine"), who devises things like a huge killer robot (straight out of "Robocop") to keep Lara at the top of her game. That game is tomb raiding for antiquities, a career taught her by her beloved, now deceased dad (Jon Voight, Jolie's real father). A once-every-5,000 years convergence of the planets combined with the discovery of a ticking 'key' sets Lara off on her latest worldwide adventure to stop the evil Illuminati from stealing the power of time itself in "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider."

Having never played the videogame, I have a question - is the name Lara Croft code for Large Cups? Angelina Jolie, with the help of some bust boosting, personifies the vidgame heroine - a tough, motorcycle riding chick with an inhuman figure encased in tight clothing and a personal arsenal. She can apparently hear the ticking of a clock encased within a stairwell from 100 yards and a sound sleep, pull in favors from secret ops groups and beat the living daylights out of a score of men firing a hail of bullets at her without suffering a scratch, yet doesn't have the sense to employ Bryce to protect the key to earth's destruction from being stolen.

Screenwriter Michael Colleary ("Face/Off") has provided an idiotic premise that trots Lara to Cambodia (where huge stone temple creatures come to life only to be shattered like clay pots by a bullet or two), Venice (for no reason whatsoever other than to have a conversation with bland bad guy Manfred Powell (Iain Glen, "Beautiful Creatures")) and Iceland (to look cool dog-sledding before an inane climax right out of "The Avengers"). His one good idea is to surprise the audience when a second shower scene doesn't pan down to the figure we expect.

Cinematographer Peter Menzies Jr., blessed with these exotic locations, serves up a muddy looking, visually bland film. Simon West's ("Con Air," "The General's Daughter") direction is so flat-footed, that boredom sets in just as Lara's adventure is beginning. Not a single member of the cast is given an opportunity to breath life into their characters, although Daniel Craig ("I Dreamed of Africa") shows a glimmer that somehow got past West as Lara's former boyfriend, mercenary tomb raider Alex Marrs.

Sitting through "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" had me wishing I'd brought a PlayStation to the theater because the entertainment sure wasn't on the screen.

D-

For more Reeling reviews visit www.reelingreviews.com

[email protected]
[email protected]

--

More on 'Lara Croft: Tomb Raider'...

---

Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.