Alien Resurrection Review

by Matthew Brissette (mouche AT rodier DOT ca)
June 4th, 1998

I was six years old when my parents dragged me to see Aliens. Now , I had seen the original but since I was probably still drooling back then I really did not know what to expect from it's sequel. I think my parent's were trying to get rid of me early by scaring me to death , that's the only possible explanation for making a child watch Aliens in a dark room during the first days of surround sound. You've all heard the expression "traumatic experience" , well to this day I cannot watch Aliens alone or in the dark. This is not meant as a joke , I start to breathe faster , for some reason I need to swallow every ten seconds and I keep grabbing hold of whatever is available.

For some people it's going into the cellar , for others it's spiders , for me it's James Cameron's Aliens. Imagine being immersed in a dark so total that closing your eyes could provide the same effect , then imagine knowing that something is in there with you , stalking you , circling just out of your reach. The room is chilly , the wind is more annoying than cold but it still makes the small hairs between your shoulders stand up in alarm.

All the blood as left your legs , you feel like two empty paper bags are the only things holding you up . You feel unsure where exactly to place your arms: by your side , maybe you should cross them , you cannot even see them. You are in desperate need of air , you've stayed too long underwater and it is like some great weight is pressing down on your lungs. You try to force air in but your heart is beating too fast to keep any precious oxygen inside you.

The noise is terrifying , a great orchestra drum is beating between your breasts. You clutch your heart , you feel as if your hand is the only thing keeping your heart from bursting out of your chest. You are affraid to look to either side of you , you are affraid to to expose the naked flesh of your neck to the other side as you turn. You fall to your knees , bending in half , praying for some warmth and silence. Then everything stops , your heart beats normally , breath comes easily , you feel safe and pure bliss overwhelms you...

....that's when a cold pair of hands grabs you by the throat from behind!
It's a bit melodramatic , I know. But it's the best I can describe what it is like for me to watch this movie. Especially with surround sound , I remember I kept looking all around because I thought the monsters were in the theater with us. When Michael Biehn lifts the grate above the marines and swings his flashlight around I was also looking up.
All of this just so you can better understand my disapointment at the direction the series has taken. The problem with the Alien franchise is that it as not followed a natural progression. Explanation: first we had one alien and several humans with practically no weapons. It seemed only natural to follow that up with several hundred aliens and tough marines armed with state of the art gear. Then something went wrong , instead of moving up we took a step back. Afer experiencing the onslaught of a hundred aliens plus their queen it was kind of a downer to just having one running after us.

And without weapons the possibility of maximum carnage was very limited. Plus , for the first time in the franchise's history the supporting cast was extremely weak. I wanted Lance Henricksen and Michael Biehn to have survived to pod's crash. Heck , I wanted to see more of the Ripley/Newt relationship. After having taken the fight to the ennemy in Aliens it was sad to just being able to run away and hide in Alien 3.

Which brings us to the latest instalment in the franchise: Alien Resurection. Let me start off by saying the director was wrong for this project. Why? Everything scene he shoots is too bright. Even the dark corridors of the ship aren't dark. Part of what makes the alien lethal is that you cannot see it coming , but now we can clearly see down the length of every corridor which makes it hard for a surprise attack. Also , in the three previous flicks we only caught glimpses of the creature , when we saw completely it was only for a few seconds.Now , the Alien is fully exposed in most scenes and it becomes just another B movie monster.

Can somebody explain this to me:

The first flick was about a hundred years into the future , the second was ninety , I think , the third was a couple of decades and this latest is , again I think , a hundred. Now , we can travel through space , clone entire persons and establish colonies on distant worlds but guns still need bullets? Oh sure , they had small lasers but come on...
Now we move on to Alien Resurection's biggest fault: Ripley , the original ( well , okay , her clone , but let's not split hairs ) psycho bitch. What people want to see is Ripley tape two big ass guns together and lob grenades at aliens and alien eggs , oh , and let's not forget the flamethrower.

But , unfortunately , in this movie Ripley is not pro-active she is only re-active. Meaning she is just running away with the others instead of doing what we want to see her do: open up a can of whup ass on them critters. I know that she is not the original Ripley but instead of leading the men to safety she just hangs back and offers some less than inspiring comments once in a while. "What did you do?" he asks. "I died." So much for morale.

Another little nitpick: the alien's acid can melt through a dozen bulkheads but if you get a face full of the stuff you just get a not so nasty burn? Right , as if you'd still have a head after that. While we are bitching: the "use the airlock to get rid of the final alien" bit got old back in Aliens. Movies are supposed to have big , explosive endings ( again I must mention Aliens in regards to this comment ) , instead we get a really fake looking atmospheric re-entry.

Rating: Half a star out of 5 for a legend in the breaking , bad CG effects ( mostly when the Alien jumps out of the water , ugh! ) and the half of star is for the ok but not great underwater chase.

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