Alien vs. Predator Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)August 14th, 2004
ALIEN VS. PREDATOR
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2004 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
Who wins? Who cares in the slow and silly ALIEN VS. PREDATOR, directed aimlessly by Paul W.S. Anderson (MORTAL KOMBAT)? Operating within the confines of its PG-13 rating, the film is never scary, although it does manage to be a little gross from the dead aliens' oozing green slime.
The complicated pretext that gets the aliens and the predators battling each other involves an ancient pyramid discovered two thousand feet below the ice in Antarctica. The humans in the story, led by Alexa Woods (Sanaa Lathan), are there solely for the stupidity factor. Alexa turns out to be the movie's Ripley, as the only human brave and resourceful enough to participate effectively in the battle.
The plodding pacing is punctuated by sporadic and clunky dialog ("We do not have the luxury of quitting." and "It's time to choose sides.") The one decent line in the entire picture comes when the scientists are nonplussed by the high-tech weaponry that they discover buried in a centuries-old tomb. "It's like finding Moses's DVD collection," one of the nerdier members of the team remarks.
The only enjoyment, if any, in a lame sci-fi film like ALIEN VS. PREDATOR, comes in the laughter. There are occasions -- but, sadly not many -- in which the movie gets so ridiculous that it's fun to laugh at. Otherwise, this is a completely disposable film, filled with dark, blurry fight sequences and with a surprising lack of energy or drive.
ALIEN VS. PREDATOR runs a long 1:40. It is rated PG-13 for "violence, language, horror images, slime and gore" and would be acceptable for kids around 12 and up.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, August 13, 2004. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC and the Century theaters.
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