Almost Heroes Review
by Craig Roush (kinnopio AT execpc DOT com)June 12th, 1998
ALMOST HEROES
Release Date: May 29, 1998
Starring: Chris Farley, Matthew Perry, Eugene Levy, Kevin Dunn, Lisa Barbuscia, Bokeem Woodbine
Directed by: Christopher Guest
Distributed by: Warner Brothers
MPAA Rating: PG-13 (crude humor, nudity)
URL: http://www.execpc.com/~kinnopio/reviews/1998/almost.htm
Walking out of this movie, a friend mentioned to me that, although not every comedy is great, they all have their 'moments.' This needed no explanation, for the law of averages says that as long as you keep trying, you're bound to succeed sometime. What's unfortunate, though, is that the genuinely comical setups in ALMOST HEROES are so far and few between that all of the remaing humor - as crass, crude, and obtrusive as possible - makes the movie completely not worth the money.
The foremost scapegoat for every failed comedy is the screenwriter, or in this case the team of three responsible for this cinematic atrocity. Mark Nutter, Tom Wolfe, and Boyd Hale, none of whom (save possibly Nutter, who's had supporting roles in MICHAEL and TV's JAG) have any experience in the motion picture industry and have penned no other feature films, have drawn out a script that's painful to watch. Literally painful as well, it's nothing more than a series of half-hearted conversations which string together drug-induced caricatures and non-sequitous physical comedy. You don't write much worse than this.
But even the worst of screenplays can be made to look plausible with an inspired bit of acting. Unfortunately that's all the audience gets: bits and pieces. The late Chris Farley plays Bartholomew Hunt, and Matthew Perry is Leslie Edwards. Together, the two, along with a hodgepodge crew of derelicts and invalids, are mounting a mission to go west before Lewis and Clark do. Farley is outrageously comical, but in this setting his enthusiasm is mistaken for scene-stealing, and he doesn't win much audience appeal. Perry is downright obnoxious, and his character is so unlikeable that he has no chance either. The rest of the crew are simply stereotypes which were designed solely for the purpose of being the butt of many jokes.
This is the second movie of such low quality in a remarkably short amount of time (after the earlier-in-May BLACK DOG). Maybe it says something about the willingness of Hollywood to produce downright unwatchable films, for the cinema is being increasingly saturated with stale products such as ALMOST HEROES. This one can't be seen to light under any setting, except for extremely enthusastic Farley fans. It doesn't come near his other films in appeal or taste, and should be left to wallow in the wake of more worthy, upcoming summer films.
FINAL AWARD FOR "ALMOST HEROES": 1.0 star - a poor movie.
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Craig Roush
[email protected]
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Kinnopio's Movie Reviews
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