Armageddon Review
by Scott Renshaw (renshaw AT inconnect DOT com)July 10th, 1998
ARMAGEDDON
(Touchstone)
Starring: Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Steve Buscemi, Will Patton, Peter Storemare, Keith David.
Screenplay: Jonathan Hensleigh and J. J. Abrams.
Producers: Jerry Bruckheimer, Gale Anne Hurd and Michael Bay. Director: Michael Bay.
MPAA Rating: PG-13 (profanity, adult themes, violence)
Running Time: 150 minutes.
Reviewed by Scott Renshaw.
You gotta give bonus points to the Touchstone Pictures publicity department for uncommon candor on the subject of big-budget film screenwriting. Press materials for ARMAGEDDON proudly trumpet the fact that the producers "assembled a cadre of talented writers" to polish up Jonathan Hensleigh's script, including Tony Gilroy, Paul Attanasio, Scott Rosenbert and Robert Towne. Even cast members Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare and Owen Wilson were acknowledged for their ad-lib contributions. After creating an additional writing credit to accommodate two more names ("Adaptation" on top of "Story" and "Screenplay," as if you could figure out the difference), Jerry Bruckheimer and Touchstone appear to have publicly embraced the concept of pot-luck screenwriting: the notion that if a dozen different guys all bring something to the table, you end up with a cinematic meal.
Or in the case of ARMAGEDDON, one massive snack. The subject, of course, is this summer's favorite -- a huge celestial body on a collision course with our Big Blue Marble, this one an asteroid the size of Texas. Faced with a "Global Killer" certain to wipe out life as we know it, NASA chief Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton) initiates a plan involving landing a shuttle on the asteroid and planting a nuclear warhead 800 feet below its surface. To that end he recruits deep-core oil driller Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) for the job of making the big hole for the big bomb. Naturally, Harry needs his misfit crew along with him, including hot-shot A. J. (Ben Affleck), who coincidentally is in love with Harry's daughter Grace (Liv Tyler), much to Harry's paternal consternation.
It's enough to generate flashbacks from DEEP IMPACT, where the feeble attempts to generate sweeping emotion more often generated sleeping emotion. ARMAGEDDON, to its credit, at least gets its priorities straight. Make no mistake, this is a special effects-driven action film, chock-a-block with ahhh-inspiring scenes -- exploding space shuttles, meteor showers toppling the Empire State Building, the gargoyles on the Notre Dame Cathedral watching as Paris is reduced to baguette crumbs. Director Michael Bay predictably resorts to tension-builders like close shaves with countdown clocks, but at least he knows enough to keep the focus on the drill team's mission once they're in space. For its final 75 minutes, ARMAGEDDON is virtually nothing but explosions, crashes and narrow escapes...and that's a good thing.
It's the _first_ 75 minutes which truly test your gag reflex, as the aforementioned cadre of writers tries vainly to create the illusion of character development. Stock interpersonal conflicts share time with tender moments as all involved make their peace before heading off to save humanity; I'm not sure whether I was more moved by the gruff reconciliation between Grace and Harry, or A. J. wooing Grace using Animal Crackers for foreplay (don't ask). It's all a load of nonsense, made even less interesting by Bay's foolish decision to keep chopping back and forth between the playful introduction of our roughneck protagonists and a solemn war room session at NASA. There's nothing cohesive or compelling about ARMAGEDDON as narrative; strangely enough, it feels like the result of a dozen different writers contributing individual scenes or lines of dialogue.
I'm not going to suggest that ARMAGEDDON isn't a pretty effective diversion. If there's one thing a dozen writers can do, it's produce a bunch of solid laughs and craft a few exciting action sequences. It's fun watching the unhinged performances of Buscemi (as the crew's horny geologist) and his FARGO partner Stormare (as a loopy Cosmonaut), and it's fun grinning at creaky devices like military men being turned into villains for choosing the fate of all humanity over our intrepid heroes. There's just not much more you can expect from a film where they seem more interested in throwing in a GODZILLA gag than in letting one writer create an actual story. For all the uneven visceral enjoyment that it's worth, TOUCHSTONE PICTURES proudly presents ARMAGEDDON: a blockbuster a la carte.
On the Renshaw scale of 0 to 10 asteroid belts: 6.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Visit Scott Renshaw's MoviePage
http://www.inconnect.com/~renshaw/
***
Subscribe to receive new reviews directly by email! See the MoviePage for details, or reply to this message with subject line "Subscribe".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
