The Animal Review
by "Steve Rhodes" (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)June 1st, 2001
THE ANIMAL
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2001 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
Luke Greenfield's THE ANIMAL, starring Rob Schneider (DEUCE BIGALOW: MALE GIGOLO), is a comedic takeoff on the old Frankenstein legend. The hilarious "kill the monster" ending, which is the only time the movie follows the traditional Frankenstein story, is one of only two good parts to the movie. The other is an adorable Colleen Haskell from the original "Survivor" series, who plays Schneider's human love interest. As you watch her being delightful in a movie which is awful, you find yourself eagerly awaiting her next picture, which has to be better.
The story, which is explained in detail in the movie's abysmal trailers, concerns Marvin Mange (Schneider), a loser of a man whose body is reconstituted out of animal parts after a car accident. This causes him to have a never ending stream of animal urges. Peeing around his restaurant table in order to mark his territory is one such animalistic behavior. Another, in a Tom Green moment, has him masticating a worm so that a baby turkey vulture can peck the remains out of his mouth.
Are you laughing yet? You aren't? Well, how about a man who sniffs other men's butts? A man who lusts after every tail -- of whatever species -- in sight? A man who barfs up hairballs?
Okay, I give up. You aren't laughing.
The movie's tagline nicely sums it up: "He wasn't much of a man. ... Now he's not much of an animal." Well, this much can be said in THE ANIMAL's defense. It isn't the worst movie of the week. By a nose, it loses this dubious distinction to another juvenile comedy, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?
THE ANIMAL runs, thankfully, only 1:23. It is rated PG-13 for some crude and sexual humor and would be acceptable for kids around 12 and up.
My son Jeffrey, age 12, gave the picture just a single *. He said it was plotless slapstick that had only a few funny moments.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, June 1, 2001. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC and the Century theaters.
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