The Avengers Review
by "R. L. Strong" (areles AT geocities DOT com)November 5th, 1998
"The Avengers"
Ralph Fiennes Uma Thurman Sean Connery
"The Avengers" Eddie Izzard
Executive Producer: Susan Ekins
Music by Joel McNeely
Original Theme by Laurie Johnson
Cinematographer: Roger Pratt
Costume Designer: Anthony Powell
Production Designer: Stuart Craig
Edited by Mick Audsley
Produced by Jerry Weintraub
Based on the BBC Television series by Sydney Newman
Screenplay by Don MacPherson
Directed by Jeremiah Chechik
Review by R. L. Strong
The world is in chaos. Civilization is on the brink of destruction. It is time for tea!
Warner Brothers delayed the release of this film until late summer, and for good reason. In a year that has seen some of the most imbecilic and tired plots ever projected on a theater screen, "The Avengers" hold true to the adage of "those that do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it". The film opens with the introduction of John Steed, agent for the British Ministry who handily manages through an obstacle course of assorted assassins. Steed is then requested to see his superior, "Mother" (played indifferently by Nicholas Woodeson) who has a special assignment for him. It seems that a Sir August de Wynter (Sean Connery) has gained control of a weather control device (I won't go into details here, the film has enough of them). With the aid of Mrs. Emma Peal (Uma Thurman), the creator of the prototype for the device. Sir de Wynter's goal is to hold the world ransom by threatening all the nations with destructive weather until they agree to pay him his demand of 10 per cent of their gross national product each. Needless to say, it is up to Mrs. Peal and Mr. Steed to save the day.
The above plot synopsis pretty much should give you all that you need to know about the film. The entire enterprise is so bereft of suspense as to be sleep inducing. This is not to say there are not some nice moments in the film. An attack by mechanical insects is enjoyable in a silly sort of way. But the sequence has no suspense or buildup. We never know where these machines come from or how they came to be and why they were built in the first place.
As the villain, Sir August de Wynter; Sean Connery gives what could best be described as a lackluster performance. His mincing and grimacing is more in line with Burt Reynolds in 'Stroker Ace' than anything else. It seems that Mr. Connery has a unique method of informing his audience that he is not taking his role seriously, and that method is the preponderance of him lisp. Not since Boris Karloff uttered the famed line: "He has an irrational fear of caths", in the film "The Black Cat" (1933), has a lisp been so prominent.
Ralph Fiennes performance as John Steed is stiff and unappealing. The performance couldn't have been blander if it had been dubbed. And Uma Thurman proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is completely uncomfortable with her sex symbol image. Her delivery of the numerous sexual innuendoes which pepper Steed's and Peal's conversations, have all the come hither appeal of a patient in a hospital asking a nurse for a bed pan. There is absolutely no chemistry between these characters.
This brings us to the biggest question mark in the film. As De Wynter's henchman, Eddie Izzard is, to be compassionate, the most non-threatening screen villain seen since Tim Curry. This presence (it in no way can be called a performance) is so lacking in any quality whatsoever as to be almost somnambulant. The climatic battle between Izzard's Bailey character and Thurman's Mrs. Peal is almost as exciting and intense as a car wash.
The plot of the film is very abrupt, seeming to have been severely edited. But, don't be confused into thinking that a restored director's cut might improve this film. At 85 minutes, 'The Avengers' is one of the longest films to sit through. Situations are dropped in without the slightest advance, the equivalent of telling us the punch line but not the joke.
Admittedly, the art direction and visual effects are wonderful. But they are photographed so unimaginatively that they don't really linger. Also, one marvelously hilarious scene in which Mr. Steed is caught in an artificial blizzard is the most absurd practical effect in the film. The scene is shot in such a way as to completely reveal the artificiality of the plastic flake snow. Also, with the budget allotted this film, you'd except to see the actors breath in the freezing cold. Not here, Mr. Steed actually has perspiration on his forehead.
The little tag line of mine at the start of this column sums up my entire opinion of Jeremiah Chechik's updated version of that perennial British television chestnut 'The Avengers'. There is a lot going on here in this film. But ten minutes with a good warm drink is ultimately more satisfying.
On a scale on 5, "The Avengers' rates 1. Not as bad as this years worst film (That remains Tristars 'Godzilla'), but a complete waste of all the talent involved.
Copyright 1998 R. L Strong
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