Battlefield Earth Review
by Brandon Herring (moviefan983 AT aol DOT comBiteMe)May 26th, 2000
Zero Stars out of * * * *
Rated PG-13: Sci-fi action, violence, language.
Starring: John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker.
Directed by: Roger Christianson
Running Tim: 127 minutes.
So I went and saw this film right, it was called "Battlefield: Earth", I was never interested in the previews, and never too terribly interested in the book, nor do I find scientology interesting, but after reading advanced reviews of how bad this film really is, I had that weird urge just to watch it. Well let me be the first to say, and so far in my view it's safe to say: Battlefield: Earth might be the worst film I have ever seen, yes even worse than "Mr. Magoo", "Blue In The Face", or "Jaws: The Revenge".
Roger Christianson whos credits include set direction, and art direction for such great films as "Alien" and "Star Wars", directs this film with such amateurism, that the film looks and feels and in fact sounds so dumb, that it's quite depressing. The look of the film, is dark and drabby at times, but then bright and happy at other times. The sound is terrible, and has the worst surround sound effects I've heard. The acting is nothing, the dialogue poor, and the make-up effects hideous.
Here's the so-called plot: Earth 3000....man is a endangered species, while aliens from the planet Psychlo (the aliens are named Psychlo...I wonder why?!) are invading Earth, destined to put an end to those "man-animals" to an end, and destroy Earth once and for all, of course we have our typical hero (played terrible by Barry Pepper, who was great in a small role in 1999's "The Green Mile") who is destined to go out, and save his planet! One thing: he has to go up against, Terl, the chief of security Psychlo, who is played frankly, quite bad by John Travolta, whom with dreadlocks, a big head, and green eyes just doesn't work. Of course the sidekick to Terl, is played by (LOL!!) Forest Whitaker, who looks like a deformed werewolf of some kind. Our friendly human Johnny (Barry Pepper) looks just as bad as well, with long scraggly hair.
I'm not really sure how to quite explain the badness of this film, except just to say it's terrible. Everything in this film is imcomprehinsable, from the make-up effects, which by the way aren't good, to the phony looking special effects, everything in this film is faulted. In fact I don't remember one part in this entire movie where I was having a good time, or enjoying myself. In fact there is no part in the movie that I liked or enjoyed. Throughout the entire 127 minute running time, I was dying, constantly looking at my watch, and hoping maybe the projectioner would blow a bulb or something, sadly it didn't.
My advice to Hollywood: Get new scripts, new acting classes, better directors and damnit, make films like American Beauty More.
Reviewed by Brandon Herring 5/12/00.
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