Black Dog Review
by James Sanford (jasanfor AT MCI2000 DOT com)May 11th, 1998
Black Dog
Rated PG-13
By James Sanford
The Kalamazoo Gazette
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----
If you've ever wondered what really goes on in those truck-weighing stations, "Black Dog" will be an edifying experience. If you've often dreamed of seeing 18-wheelers plunging off cliffs, rolling down embankments or careening all over the road, here's your chance. If you sometimes find yourself trying to imagine what Randy Travis would sound like if he intentionally tried to sing badly, the answer comes in this movie. But those people who manage to pass the Freightliner lot without drooling will probably find "Black Dog" pretty much bites. Though the quartet of screenwriters who churned out this little pot-boiler devised dozens of ways to stage crashes - in this movie, no truck goes off the road unless there's a train, a building or a tanker marked "ultra-octane" in its path - they failed to work in any suspense or real drama, relying instead on stock situations likely to prompt snickers from even the least-discriminating audience.
Determined to never say die even though he's failed as a muscle-bound hero before in "Roadhouse," "Next of Kin" and "Steel Dawn," Patrick Swayze takes the role of stolid Jack Crews, an ex-trucker and ex-con who served two years for vehicular manslaughter.
Since his license is now revoked, Jack wants to work as a mechanic, but his crooked-as-a-Black Dog's-hind-leg boss Cutler (Graham Beckel) pressures him to accept $10,000 to get behind the wheel again and haul a mysterious cargo from Georgia back to New Jersey. Though a nightmare involving a snarling black pit bull portends bad luck, Jack agrees to make the run when he learns the bank is about to foreclose on his house unless he can come up with $9,000 right away.
So Jack heads for Atlanta (which a title helpfully identifies as "Atlanta, Georgia" so we wonıt mistake the location for Atlanta, Hawaii), commandeers an imposing-looking Peterbilt from the nefarious Red (Meat Loaf) and rolls north. However, a series of attacks from machine gun-toting motorcyclists, road-hogging rigmasters and Red himself - who frequently quotes the Bible, which in the eyes of Hollywood, must mean heıs a nut - cause Jack to realize he's transporting more than just a cargo of toilets.
Jack would dearly love to put on the air brakes on the whole situation, but scheming Cutler has resorted to the unorthodox employee-motivation technique of holding Jack's wife and daughter hostage until the job is done. Oh yeah, the FBI and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms are also involved, just for good measure.
Although there are no stops along the way for showers or hair appointments, Swayze manages to stay neatly coifed throughout the arduous trip, despite being shot at and slapped around at every turn. Since Swayze's dour performance is strictly one-note Travis' rugged but relaxed charm is most welcome. Loaf is tiresome as the villain, and though director Kevin Hooks went to the trouble to hire the marvelous character actors Stephen Toblowski and Charles Dutton for his supporting cast, they have nothing to do but bark at each other as feuding Feds.
As a second feature at a drive-in, "Black Dog" might serve as a passable time-killer, but it's far too ludicrous and deadpan to cut it as a legitimate action movie. The script introduces the potentially interesting element of one of Jack's co-workers being a traitor only to throw it away minutes later, and other opportunities for plot development are also quickly squelched as the pile-ups just keep on a-comin'.
Those who enjoy laughing at lousy dialogue will find "Black Dog" contains numerous howlers, such as Cutlerıs claim that Jack "could drive a truck through Hell on the Fourth of July." Also rich is Jack's impassioned speech to his wife: "We moved out of Newark so Tracey could have a yard and go to a school without metal detectors in the hallways. Iım not going back!"
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
