Bones Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)October 24th, 2001
BONES
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2001 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): 1/2
Ernest R. Dickerson's African-American horror movie, BONES, never manages to be scary or funny. But with a maggot-vomiting dog and with lots of slit throats and severed heads, it does accomplish significant grossness. Some movies are so bad that they become good. BONES -- I'm sorry to report -- isn't one of them. It's just relentlessly bad.
In the opening, two rich, white kids in a six-figures sports car come to the ghetto one night to score some drugs. When things don't go as expected, they hide in a house so obviously haunted that it might as well have a big, bright neon warning sign over the front door. In no time at all, they become dog food for a black dog with bright red eyes. The house turns out to be the final resting place of one Jimmy Bones (Snoop Doggy Dogg), an unsavory character who was murdered in the 70s. The movie's dialog -- "Some holes can't be filled, and some hungers can't be satisfied." -- is as ridiculously awful as the movie's outlandish ghetto garb from the 70s, when much of the story is set. The plot concerns Jimmy's resurrection in order to kill his killers.
The one thing that the movie kills is time. It performs one miracle along the way by making an hour and a half turn into what must have been at least four.
BONES runs 1:32. It is rated R for "violence/gore, language, sexuality and drugs" and would be acceptable for older teenagers.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Wednesday, October 25, 2001. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC and the Century theaters.
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