Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 Review
by "John Beachem" (john_beachem AT hotmail DOT com)February 19th, 2001
BLAIR WITCH 2: BOOK OF SHADOWS
Review by John Beachem
* * 1/2
Directed by: Joe Berlinger
Written by: Joe Berlinger, Dick Beebe
As near as I could tell, the plot to "Blair Witch 2" goes something like this: Five people, obsessed with "The Blair Witch Project", have travelled out to Burketsville for various reasons. Jeffrey Donovan is the tour leader, living out in a ramshackle house and making his living off Blair Witch merchandise. Tristine Skyler and Stephen Turner are a couple (I think) working on a book about the Blair Witch, and they need to gather notes from the actual site. Ericca Leerhsen is a witch (both literally and figuratively) who wants the spirit of the dead Blair Witch to be her mentor in life (or something like that). Finally Kim Director is a modern gothic girl who simply thought the first movie was cool (for whatever reason) and wants to visit the place where it was filmed. The five travel out to the original site and decide to camp out there. They spend the evening drinking and frolicking, but when they wake up the next morning all of Jeffrey's camera equipment is destroyed; Stephen's notes have been torn to shreds; and something has happened to another group of tourists who were in the area. Now the group has to figure out what happened that evening because the authorities, led by Sheriff Cravens (Lenny Flaherty) are asking quesitons, and none of them can remember anything from that night.
Let me make one thing clear right now, before you begin reading this review. I hated the first "Blair Witch Project", and its success will forever be beyond my comprehension. That said, I did go into "Blair Witch 2" with an open mind because the previews made it look so much different than the first film. Imagine my disappointment when I found that part two contained just as few scares as the first film. Why the slightly higher rating then? Well, at least this one had some production values, acting, and attempts at scares (failed attempts though they may have been) other than "Ooh! A pile of rocks! How scary!" Okay, that was my last reference to the first movie, I'm now going to critique this one based entirely on its own "merits" (assuming such a creature exists). Alright then, does "Blair Witch 2" have any merits? Well, there are two decent performances and one good one; there are a few slightly above average gore effects; and there's, um, well there's the short running time. I'm sorry to report that even you fans of the first film probably won't care for this because it's made like a real movie, with a real budget and real production values. I know, I know, it's a horrifying thought.
Okay, there are six cast members in "Blair Witch 2", and three of them are just plain awful. First up on the awful list we have Stephen Turner, who has two acting modes: look really stoned and don't say anything, or overact with abandon whenever possible. Then we have Tristine Skyler ("Cadillac Man"), playing Turner's wife, or girlfriend, or mistress, or something like that. Tristine one-ups Stephen by having only one acting mode: overact at all times, regardless of the lines you're given. Last, and certainly least (in talent anyway), is Erica Leerhsen. The character she plays is already irritating in the extreme, but Erica's acting (or lack thereof) manages to top the character's ability to annoy us. On the plus side, Kim Director ("Bamboozled") and Jeffrey Donovan ("Bait") deliver fairly decent performances. Director has a great deadpan style, and her scenes where she shuts down the local red-necks when they bother her about her gothic clothing are really quite amusing. Donovan does a great job playing the most delusional of the group. His decent into paranoia and eventually madness manages to be both amusing and strangely realistic (it never feels rushed like in most films). The good performance comes from Lenny Flaherty as the highly amusing local sheriff, Cravens (drop the "s" and think about that one). The scenes where he threatens local Blair Witch tourists are quite amusing (probably because I wish I was with him, screaming at these fools).
I came to a realization about halfway through "Blair Witch 2" about what kind of movie this really is. It's obviously not a horror movie, since the only scary thing about it is that it was ever created. No, this movie is actually a statement about the dangers of alcohol and marijuana use. Think about it, the five main characters are constantly drinking, talking about drinking, or talking about how much they wish they had some pot. Then, they're hit by a multitude of delusions which cause them to do all sorts of stupid and/or illegal things. We're made to believe that the delusions are the result of the Blair Witch, but are they really? Well, the message was either that or a statement about how witches are really misunderstood. I only think the latter is a possibility because Erica talks non-stop about how witches are portrayed poorly in the media. To show how sweet and caring she is, she delivers lines like: "May I have permission to take this leaf?" when plucking a leaf from a plant, or "We embrace nature, not evil." (Kim scored points in my book when she retorted with "I hate nature"). I know I'm going to make a few more enemies out there, but people who wander around in a daze, talking about Karma and saying "Blessed be" really drive me nuts. If you're wicka, fine, just don't bother me with it.
So why don't any of the movie's scares work? Well, answer me this: is a scare more terrifying when it comes out of no where, or when the director lets us know well in advance that we're about to see something that's supposed to be scary? I'm referring specifically to a scene in which Tristine is in the hospital, babbling about something or other while the nurse makes over her. The nurse turns to the curtain (signal number one), Tristine stops rambling and looks over in her direction (signal number two), the camera closes in on the break in the curtain that the nurse is about to open (signal number three), and the curtain springs open to reveal... well, I won't say here of course, but I promise it was supposed to be scary (supposed to be being the key words here). The script is bad enough, but when Joe Berlinger directs in this inept a manner, things turn downright painful. The film's soundtrack is composed entirely of modern hard rock music, and it gets really annoying about five minutes into the film. Remember that last pro I named earlier? "Blair Witch 2" runs only 90 minutes! Why aren't you cheering? I'd recommend this movie to those who love their horror movies completely devoid of scares and give it a slightly generous two and a half out of five stars. By the way, does anyone know why it's called "Book of Shadows"? There wasn't any mention of a book of shadows in the stupid movie! Or can someone explain the big tree to me? Because the movie sure didn't. Come to think of it, the movie didn't explain much of anything. Okay, I'm done, I've wasted enough time and energy on this moronic film.
Comments? Send to: [email protected]
Past reviews can be found at:
http://us.imdb.com/ReviewsBy?John+Beachem
* * * * * - One of the best movies of the year.
* * * * - Great flick, try and catch this one.
* * * - Okay movie, hits and misses.
* * - Pretty bad, see it at your own risk.
* - See this one only if you enjoy pain.
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