The Big Hit Review
by Jason Overbeck (root-for-badguys AT juno DOT com)October 28th, 1998
THE BIG HIT
0 stars OF **** grade is F
In The Big Hit Melvin Smiley (Mark Walhberg) has many problems: He has just kidnapped the daughter of a broke millionaire
He has inept and corrupt partners who scam him of hard-earned money He has a problem with people disliking him and he has chosen to be a hitman
His girlfriend milks his money
And his fiancée is Jewish and has parents who are rough stereotypes.
We as the audience have him beat. At least he didn't have to sit through this film. I would take his spot, any day of the week. This film should be used in torture chambers, "Talk or we'll make you watch The Big Hit!" To which the probable reply would be "Okay I'll talk, just don't make me watch that!" To those who were unfortunate enough to see The Big Hit in the theatre you should have asked not only for a refund but for them to pay for years of seeing an analyst.
I will now attempt to describe the plot so as you read please stay out of reach for any sharp objects or electric inputs. Smiley and his crew Color Me Bad kidnap the daughter of a once rich businessman and attempt to collect ransom. They fail to collect money but piss of they're boss and cause a conflict within the team.
Not much is left to say about The Big Hit except STAY AWAY. This film thinks drinking Maalox is unconditionally funny. It thinks that people fly 20 feet when shot with a single bullet. This film is dreadfully unfunny, horribly uncool and one of the worst films ever made by a human being. I would rather listen to Fran Drescher recite the Dictionary.
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
