Can't Hardly Wait Review
by Steve Rhodes (srhodes AT ricochet DOT net)June 14th, 1998
CAN'T HARDLY WAIT
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1998 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
Wait.
Set at one long party featuring underage alcohol abuse and the trashing of a house, CAN'T HARDLY WAIT is FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH without the laughs.
Written and directed jointly by Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan, a team whose only credited role is as the screenwriters of A VERY BRADY SEQUEL, CAN'T HARDLY WAIT brings together all of the high school stereotypes into a single movie. The picture features horny but brainless jocks, tacky bimbos, clueless nerds and would-be gangsta white kids. The only missing ingredient for a proper parody is a humorous script.
As Mike Dexter, the most popular boy in school, Peter Facinelli, from his broad toothy grin to the way he holds his body, is the spitting image of the young Tom Cruise. He tells his buddies to jettison their current girlfriends to get ready for all of those hot babes they will meet when they get to college in the fall. ("The future, broh, is women." As in college women.)
Mike's girlfriend is, of course, the most sought-after girl in school, Amanda Beckett. Like Godzilla, the movie teases us for the first twenty minutes without revealing what she looks like. Eventually she turns to the camera, and we learn that Amanda is played by teenage heartthrob Jennifer Love Hewitt from I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER.
Sandwiched in-between the bad jokes is a would-be tender romance. The homely Preston Meyers, played by Ethan Embry from VEGAS VACATION, has loved Amanda since she ate the exact same type of pop-tart as he did when they were freshmen. She doesn't know he exists, but by the end of the movie - surprise - she will go from the hollow hunk Mike to the sincerely serious Preston.
The movie passes the time by recycling humor you've heard before. ("Isn't this the weekend you date your girlfriend from the Internet?" one of the geeks asks the other, while reenacting scenes from STAR WARS and searching the skies for UFOs.)
There are a few nice scenes including one in which two kids get locked in a bathroom and decide to drop their masks and become real people again. Without their facades, they decide they like each other enough to have sex together. Once the door is opened, they quickly revert to their previous false and shallow behavior.
CAN'T HARDLY WAIT runs 1:39. It is rated PG-13 for underage drinking, profanity and sexual situations and would be acceptable for older teenagers.
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