Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Review
by William Robert (webmaster AT moviesforguys DOT com)July 14th, 2005
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Starring: Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly, Helena Bonham Carter, Deep Roy
Rating: 3/5
Reviewed by JC Edwards of www.moviesforguys.com
If you were old enough to remember the original or you have seen it on DVD recently this remake might leave you feeling kind of flat, like it did me. This Tim Burton release although 34 years younger than the original just didn't do it for me. Johnny Depp was 'good', the rotten kids performances were practically clones of the original actors, and Charlie was humble enough but something was missing. I have thought about it for 2 days now and I just can't seem to put my finger on it. The effects were better than top notch and the direction was masterful so it had to be the story - It just doesn't work in today's culture. We are too self absorbed and oblivious to other peoples problems, not that we don't deserve to be but this remake is either 15 years too late or about 10 years too early, IMHO.
Plot time; Charlie Bucket (Highmore) is a poor kid that lives in a shack with his loser parents and his 4 worthless, bed-ridden grandparents somewhere in England. I call his parents losers because dad is so broke he can't afford to buy his kid anything except a candy bar once a year, and Mom just sits at home making water soup all day... BIG LOSERS! All this kid wants is a house filled with love and an occasional sugar fix and his parents make him live in a shack with no roof, WTF??? Do you know a single kid that will relate to this character? If you do, don't feel bad they won't see the movie anyway... they live in a cave or mud hut and were not at all the target demographic so enjoy your lives without regret - I know I do. Lost my train again; Charlie hears rumor of the chocolate factory in town reopening for one day only, but the only way to get invited is to find one of 5 golden tickets that have been sent out by chocolateer Willy Wonka (Depp).
Of course the first 4 tickets go to undeserving brats with parents who worked hard, and made something of themselves and don't make it a point to remind the rest of the world to feel sorry for them because they live in a shack! We of course are supposed to hate these children and their parents and root for 'poor old' Charlie and his wrinkled Grandpa. Do you see why we can't relate to this story anymore? He gets the 5th ticket and goes on the tour, blah, blah, blah... etc, etc, etc.
Well I won't bore you anymore with the heavy handed guilt associated with this movie; I will just remind you that if you liked the other one you were younger and had no understanding of certain core concepts; The biggest one of all is that you get what you earn, not what you deserve. And, if you do see this movie and feel sorry and wish you were Charlie, move out of your moms basement and get a job, have someone tell you to share what you worked so hard for then tell me how you feel. Bet it is a different conversation. Damn it lost my train again!
Nothing blew up, No one caught a bullet trying to disarm a nuclear weapon on an asteroid and I never once heard anyone say 'I'll Be Back'. So, in short it didn't satisfy my blood lust Or, just plain old lust for that matter. I gave it 3 stars because I saw the kids liked it, Depp was more than a little creepy and Burton was awesome as usual but if I were a single guy with no kids I would avoid this movie like the plague. Go see something with breast's in it, I promise you will smile more.
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