Collateral Damage Review
by Eugene Novikov (lordeugene_98 AT yahoo DOT com)March 28th, 2002
Collateral Damage (2002)
Reviewed by Eugene Novikov
http://www.ultimate-movie.com/
"You see a peasant with a gun, you change the channel. But you never ask why a peasant needs a gun."
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Elias Koteas, Francisca Neri, Cliff Curtis, John Leguizamo, John Turturro. Directed by Andrew Davis. Rated R.
Collateral Damage isn't really an Arnold movie. Sure, it prominently features Mr. Schwarzenegger, and it does give him a chance to play vigilante, but I don't think this is the Arnold anyone much imagined. The 55-year-old proved two years ago that, if he was no longer Conan the Barbarian, he could at least churn out a good movie; this one never lets him do what he does best. Its release was delayed from November because of concerns that its terrorism-related plot would hit the wrong note because of September 11th; really, I think this is too mediocre to touch any sort of nerve.
Gordon Brewer is a fireman, and a family man. One sunny day, he arranges to meet his wife and son outside the Colombian Embassy (???). He's a few minutes late for the rendez-vous, and as he approaches, waving a nonchalant hello to a nearby traffic cop, he watches a terrorist bomb kill his family.
The FBI questions him. There was something suspicious about that traffic cop who was so lenient about letting Brewer stop in the red zone. He tries to help. He wants to be involved and in the loop; the FBI patronize him, telling him to go home, get some sleep, they'll call him if anything happens. He goes home. He can't sleep, he watches the news, he sees a guy call his wife and son "collateral damage." So he goes to his office with a baseball bat.
Eventually, Brewer finds out that the man responsible for the bombing is "The Wolf" (Cliff Curtis), a Colombian terrorist whose motives are trite: objections to America's allegedly imperialist foreign policy, etc. He also finds out that no one knows where this guy is, and no one is willing to go in and hunt him down. So, being the sensible guy that he is, he decides to go to Colombia himself to kill the Wolf, which involves penetrating miles of enemy terrain, seeking out a secret, heavily guarded location and taking out the most notorious terrorist in the world. But it's Arnold, right?
It's Arnold, yes, but Collateral Damage has him do some decidedly non-Arnold things. For one thing, there's a lot of sneaking around and planting explosives, and posing as German mechanics, and generally being stealthy. Fine. But Arnold doesn't do stealth. Arnold busts down doors and punches people in the face, and mows people down with really, really big guns. He looks silly sneaking around trying to be a mouse.
Since the movie tries to fit a square peg into a round hole, it's hard for us to take it seriously; it becomes even harder when the movie insists on taking itself seriously. I'm okay with action thrillers that realize that their plot isn't supposed to make much sense, but I have a problem with movies that insist that Colombians upset over the treatment of their country bombing a Colombian embassy in the US is a logical act of terrorism. And then, after 90 minutes of frantic running through Colombian wilderness and then another 30 of trying to piece together an apocalyptic (or so the film would have you think) terrorist plot, everything, in all seriousness, ends with a fireman's axe to the head. Who likes this stuff on a literal level? Where's Arnold's sense of humor?
Considering that Schwarzenegger was never able to actually act, he has made some damn fine movies in his career. I mean, some really good movies, veritable science-fiction masterpieces like Terminator 2: Judgement Day and Total Recall. Even The 6th Day, was terrific: funny, clever, exciting and epic on a very Schwarzenegger scale. Collateral Damage is none of these things. Instead, it's pompous, absurd, and really rather poorly directed; note to director Andrew Davis: a shot of a guy running, followed by a shot of another guy running is not a chase scene. Another note to Andrew Davis: this, after A Perfect Murder and The Fugitive?
Grade: C
Up Next: Rollerball
©2002 Eugene Novikov
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