Criminal Review
by Jon Popick (jpopick AT sick-boy DOT com)September 24th, 2004
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I caught Criminal, which is a note-for-note American remake of Nine Queens, the first film from Argentine Fabián Bielinsky. They're a tricky thing, these remakes of heist films (which is what Queens/Criminal is) - if you've seen the original, the update is breathlessly anti-climactic. Unless, that is, the newer version has been radically changed in some way to keep the know-it-alls second-guessing their own art house cred.
Debut filmmaker Gregory Jacobs - an assistant director for the likes of John Sayles, Hal Hartley, Richard Linklater and Steven Soderbergh (the latter of whom co-adapts the script under the pseudonym Sam Lowry) - doesn't alter much from Bielinsky's story. Young Con (Diego Luna, The Terminal) is taken under the wing of Old Con (John C. Reilly, Gangs of New York), at which time they stumble on the grift of a lifetime involving the sale of extremely rare currency (stamps in the original) to a financial tycoon (Peter Mullan, Young Adam) who happens to be staying in the posh hotel where Old Con's sister (Maggie Gyllenhaal, Mona Lisa Smile) works as a concierge.
Like any film about con men, things are not always as they seem in Criminal. You usually don't know who's playing who until the very end.at least if you' ve not seen the original. I did, and as a result, Criminal was like déjà vu all over again. All I could do was sit back and think about how much curvier Queens' Leticia Brédice was than Gyllenhaal. Granted, it was pretty neat to see the Hard Eight reversal, with Reilly playing the Expert this time around. But that ain't enough to keep a guy interested. Bottom line: If you haven't seen Queens, you'll probably dig Criminal (especially if you enjoyed films like Matchstick Men) If you have, your time would be spent more wisely elsewhere. Like sitting home and watching the Red Sox spank the feculent, steroid-laden Wankees.
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