Deep Blue Sea Review
by Jon Popick (popick AT sick-boy DOT com)July 29th, 1999
PLANET SICK-BOY: http://www.sick-boy.com
Offering nothing viewers haven’t already seen in much superior films (The Abyss and Alien, for example), DBS does to Jaws what Mulholland Falls did to Chinatown – dumbs it down, drags it out, and leaves viewers as unsatisfied as Rosie O’Donnell when the all-you-can-eat buffet closes down before she’s finished.
The film opens with a shot of four teens enjoying a calm night out on Daddy’s boat. One of the bikinied beauties accidentally kicks a bottle of red wine over, spilling it into the dark water, which of course prompts a shark attack. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Gary Oldman say that he didn’t care for red wine in Bram Stoker’s Dracula? Why would a shark get all riled up about red wine? Anyway, the kids are saved at the last second when the shark is harpooned not once, but twice by Carter Blake (Thomas Jane, The Thin Red Line), who seems to have appeared out of nowhere.
It turns out that the shark actually escaped from a genetic testing site where scientists are hoping to create a cure for Alzheimer’s disease. The company funding the project, understandably alarmed by the AWOL shark and its Friday night assault, gives its leader, Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows, Wing Commander), 48 hours to come up with their antidote and even assigns Russell Franklin (Samuel L. Jackson, Episode One) to baby-sit the project in its final hours in a last-ditch attempt to salvage the price of the company’s stock on Monday morning.
Once Susan returns to Aquatica, which was formerly a sub refueling station used in World War II, almost everybody goes home (a skeleton crew runs the place on weekends), and those that remain ignore the impending storm that is rapidly approaching their facility. Damn it – that’s what the Doppler is there for! At one point, the tower worker (Aida Turturro) calls Susan up to the surface for an “emergency” that turns out not to be a warning about a hurricane, but a surprise birthday party. Yay!
In addition to Jane’s Blake, other characters are the severely wasted Stellan Skarsgård (Ronin), the severely annoying Michael Rapaport (TV’s Friends), the severely pixie-ish Jacqueline McKenzie (Angel Baby) and the surprisingly entertaining LL Cool J (Halloween: H2O) as Dudley, the cook. You know a film is in trouble when a rap star, and his parrot sidekick, are the highlights.
Once the group is trapped within the confines of the station, we learn that Jackson’s Franklin is somewhat of an expert in surviving difficult situations. Apparently he lived through a killer avalanche while mountain climbing in the Alps several years back. Not being too familiar with the Alzheimer’s project, he at one point loudly questions, “Just what the hell did you do to those sharks?” Well, Mace Windu, just who the hell is reading your scripts? Didn’t you learn to stay away from crappy underwater pictures after Sphere?
DBS is the writing debut from a trio of screenwriters and is directed by Renny Harlin (The Long Kiss Goodnight). The score is provided by Yes’ Trevor Rabin and the special effects are far from dazzling. Maybe I just don’t find sharks all that frightening. It’s a shark - we know what they look like. It’s not like Alien or The Abyss. They even showed the stupid thing in the trailer, so how scared can you be when you see it? Despite one particular scene that made the entire theater jump and scream, the film is largely a waste. (1:56 - R for graphically dumb shark attacks, for language and for Burrows in bra and panties)
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