Deliver Us from Eva Review
by Jon Popick (jpopick AT sick-boy DOT com)February 26th, 2003
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One of the 10 things I hate about movies is when I have to see the same stories over and over again. After all, there are only so many ways you can dress up a Pyg(malion). With Deliver Us From Eva, we get another gussied-up version of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew, this time with an urban twist and a little Joe Millionaire thrown in for good measure. Deliver isn't a bad flick, but if you want a decent, recent Shrew update, 10 Things I Hate About You is a much better option (and, I swear, that statement has nothing to do with Heath Ledger).
Our shrew here, as you can probably infer from the title, isn't named Kat. She's Eva Dandridge (Gabrielle Union), a man-eating deputy health inspector who lords over her three younger sisters: Kareenah (Essence Atkins), Bethany (Robinne Lee) and Jacqui (Meagan Good). It seems that Mr. and Mrs. Dandridge died a number of years ago in a car crash, and Eva was forced to abandon a relationship with Mr. Wonderful in order to help raise her little sisters. This is a little odd, since Eva doesn't appear to be that much older than any of them (in real life, Atkins is actually the oldest, while Lee and Union are approximately the same age).
There's some talk about the Dandridge Fund, yet it's never made clear what this is, why it exists, or how much money might be in it. I guess none of that really matters. What we're supposed to be noticing is the way Eva treats the husbands (Mel Jackson and Dartanyan Edmonds) and boyfriend (Duane Martin) of her little sisters. She's able to emasculate them with a mere glance, but that doesn't stop her from firing off long, frightening rants that might make any man within earshot bust out crying. As you can imagine, Eva's brothers-in-law don't so much like her, as she often foils their attempts to tap that ass (cut to cucumber-chopping scene).
Deliver actually starts in the present time, with our Petruchio narrating the film from his own funeral, which seems strange for a romantic comedy. Here he's renamed Ray (rapper-turned-Cheshire cat LL Cool J), and he explains, via flashback, how he found himself in this unenviable state. We learn he's a man without roots (yet also a man who is desperate to buy a house), and a full-time playa with a capital "P." The Dandridge men offer Ray $5,000 plus expenses if he can woo the chilly Eva, get her to move away from the area, and then crush her like a empty beer can. Ray promises to hit that thang until she starts speaking in tongues, causing him to realize what a challenge his task will be.
Things proceed predictably, at least until you remember everything is hurtling toward that funeral scene (even then, Deliver is only upgraded to Slightly Predictable). One of the film's main problems is the lengthy set-up used to demonstrate what a bitch Eva is. This backfires badly when she falls for Ray so damn quickly. Then again, Ray is one smooth mother (shut yo mouth!). J, who actually uses his real name in the credits (so you know this is, like, totally a serious flick for him), plays this role like he's LL07. On the plus side, Deliver manages to avoid most of the stereotypes, which is about all you can ask for from an urban film these days.
1:44 - R for sex-related dialogue
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